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I Always Seem To Attract Broken People.

Most of the time I date women with problems, like low self esteem, drinking etc... I always try to fix them.  Then I find out the hard way they most of the time they can't be fixed.  I'm 43 and the one i'm interested is in her early 20's and she doesn't seem to have any problems and she has great attitude. But she doesn't have a great job and I make a pretty comfortable living.  I don't play games and I'm not looking to hook up. I'm just asking if the age gap is too big, I don't want to waste anybody's time especially mine.
patsfan85 patsfan85 41-45, M 6 Responses Jan 10, 2011

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The youngest I ever went and will ever go in fact is 19yrs old and I'm 29 ,it never worked out maybe i'll try again in like about 10 years. One day I legit almost lost my voice screaming at him because his immaturity was ******* me off.. I threatened to kill both of us if he didnt stop yapping in my ears. No one has ever pissed me off to that extreme.. in a long time that is. but anyway age shouldnt matter , always give it a try if you like the person.... their personality is what should be the main focus not the age.

Most of the time I date women with problems, like low self esteem, drinking etc... I always try to fix them. Then I find out the hard way they most of the time they can't be fixed. <br />
>>> IMO, that's a symptom of Codependency - google it to see what it is and how to fix it.<br />
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I'm 43 and the one i'm interested is in her early 20's and she doesn't seem to have any problems and she has great attitude. But she doesn't have a great job and I make a pretty comfortable living. I don't play games and I'm not looking to hook up. I'm just asking if the age gap is too big, I don't want to waste anybody's time especially mine.<br />
>>> I see no problem with the age. Go for it!

Well there's 2 parts to your story. Firstly, I'm exactly the same with attracting broken people. Perhaps I feel like I need to be needed. Sometimes you don't have to fix them, but you can help shape the rest of their lives and make what they do have a whole lot more bearable.<br />
I'm in love with someone like this. I don't know if I'll ever be able to fix her, but that's not what's important. When she's around, I feel happy, purposeful and strong. When we talk, her problems are forced into the background and she no longer needs to cry herself to sleep, cut herself, get high, or any of the other things that she sometimes does when in that awful state. Making that much of a difference to someone's life means so much to me, even if she'll never be fully fixed or 100% happy. It's not perfect by far, but it can be ours and we can make it so worthwhile.<br />
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With regards to the younger girl, if you find someone who can be happy independently, who can live their life, enhancing yours, and being enhanced by you. That's the ideal scenario for a relationship. So what if she's young, you only live once, and age is just a number once you get past a certain stage. It's how well you match as a couple that counts. The girl I was talking about is less than half my age +7, it's a silly rule to use.

my grandmother and grandfather were 40 years apart age wise it doesnt matter

Thanks silkscarf, although I appreciate the advice, I'm going to ask her out anyway because you only live once. :)<br />
"whatever doesn't kill you makes you stronger"

The age is immeterial if you both like and get on,I have an aunt forty years ago she was mid-twenties married a man 20 yrs plus her friends said she was mad it wouldn't last.She put 5 boys through University and they just celebrated 40 yrs married.So if it feels right go for it.One tip you can only help those who want help.