Post

Frequency

 
Dvorak’s 9th symphony. That’s it. That’s my favorite piece of music. David Copperfield my favorite novel, Annabel Lee my favorite poem. Favorite movie is a tough call -- A Trip To Bountiful might bring it in, but of course there are a generous number of categories to be considered in all of these artistic groups.
 
Perhaps if you know these things about me you might feel as if you understand me, and if you read and watched and listened to all of these you would, I guess, have a fair amount of insight into me, the type of person I am. We all want to be known, understood by at least one other person, it’s a basic human need, like water, quenching the thirst we have to be loved, appreciated by another.
 
Maybe I could create a new dating phenomenon much like speed dating where instead of asking people if they smoke or what their politics are, or if they consider themselves spiritual or religious, the prospective dater could just ask the different candidates the above questions and they would have in their answers all they really need to know about the other person in a nutshell, as they say. But if I did create such a dating site I would also have to invest in Cliff’s Notes and YouTube movie trailers and song clips and link them all to my site, because the average person is probably not going to do the work involved in getting to know someone, especially if their favorite book is a 600 page tome and their favorite movie is practically unheard of and their favorite music is, according to some, boring.
 
But here is what I have determined is the central point of sharing this type of information. When you do so you present yourself to the world…this is my favorite of all of the choices out there. Or maybe, succinctly, this is who I am.
What we’re doing when we share in this way is we’re describing ourselves through an alternative medium, saying, if you read this, watch this, listen to this, maybe you will feel the way I do when I read, and watch and listen, and then maybe we will find ourselves on the same frequency. Maybe we will somehow transcend the mundaneness of our every day and reach a higher plane of communication where no one else exists. Maybe if we share the feelings associated with these various artistic expressions we will be transformed, we will bond. Certainly that is what the creators of the works intended I believe; that is the point of art in all its forms, to connect with others, and have them connect with each other through the art, the piece being the conduit for emotion.
 
There is a famous quote by C.S. Lewis:
“Friendship is born at that moment when one person says to another: “What? You too? I thought I was the only one.”
 
We are all unique, the combination of all of our favorites melding to form the different emotional states that shape our moods and our proclivities which then foster our interactions with others. I guess the thinking might be that a person who could cry while listening to Dvorak or reading Poe, or fall off their chair laughing at Dickens or embrace Geraldine Page as the phenomenal actress she was, could never hurt, deceive, betray or abandon me. If we shared all of those things we would be bonded; it would be inescapable, unstoppable. I believe it is a relatively rare occurrence though, that kind of connection. You’re probably lucky if you hit one out of four with another person, but there are an infinite number of ways to connect in this life, obviously. In some ways asking the question, “what is your favorite… and why?” and really listening closely to the answer, is a way of saying, “I love you.” You could spend a lifetime getting to know another person in this way.  
 
After my baby was diagnosed with Autism it was impressed upon me that I needed to work tirelessly with her on something called “shared sight.” The goal was to point to something and get her to look at it with me, so that we both experienced it at the same time. This was considered one of the most important milestones we needed to reach. It was a way of teaching her, her brain that is, how to bond with another person through simultaneously viewing something and experiencing the same thing at the same time. I will never forget the day when, my cheek touching hers as I forced her to look, we reached that goal. It is one of my proudest accomplishments. It forever changed the way she interacted with us, and ultimately with other people.
It is impossible to hover indefinitely on or near the same frequency as another person, although when you feel as if you are on that same wavelength it is pretty amazing; it feels like more than love, it feels intrinsic, natural, carnal, even. It is an inexplicable thing sometimes, feeling another person, even one you have never met. It is something to be cherished in this life, if you are fortunate enough to experience it, even for an abbreviated flash in time. Maybe it’s enough if we just find ourselves there at particular moments in the course of our existence, and maybe we just enjoy it while it lasts.
 
When you share, when you express yourself, no matter how you do it, it’s like you are expanding your bandwidth, increasing the chances that your frequency will vibrate and cross with another’s. The result: love.
 
I like to think of heaven as another dimension where our souls revel in those feelings that we manifested through all of our favorite emotional expressions during our time spent in human form, especially the feelings we shared with our favorite people. It gives new meaning to the term “afterlife.”
I believe in love. That’s what all this is.
Quintesse Quintesse 46-50, F 26 Responses Jan 7, 2012

Your Response

Cancel

Thanks Jen. This is one of my favorite stories. I spent hours on it, trying to figure out what the allure is here, why it is so powerful.
I like your idea of using it as an explanation when talking to "outsiders" about our respective Ep addictions. I think the C.S. Lewis quote is the basis for this whole enterprise, really. It's all about sharing whether you are a die hard story aficionado like myself or a more casual (drive by) question answerer. It's all about making a connection. Some people scratch the surface and wonder what the big deal is, and others like myself invest years in creating lasting friendships. It's all good I guess.
PS-I'm particularly glad I connected with you.

There was a movie called Frequency wasn't there? This post really says it all. The next time someone asks me why I use Ep I am just sending a link to your post. I feel honored to have had some shared sight with you though I know it wasn't the way either of us would have liked for it to have been. And you blew me away with the reference to CS Lewis Quote. I am fairly certain we both commented on a shared sighting of that quote quite awhile ago. And the rest was - well - everything you wrote about here on two different levels.

"Shared sight" .... so beautiful, this way of reaching your little one. I did the same sort of thing with my boy, only it was through song. I taught him to speak through song...taught him to engage. What a beautiful way to engage these kids. :)

Gorgeous post Quin. xx

Exactly. We had a major breakthrough with music too, when she was ready. And we found that she grasped concepts more easily if they were sung--you're right. It was a while ago now. Do you remember the Backyardigans? That show taught her so much because there was so much singing and dancing. It was/is a beautiful thing.

Yep. The kids who actually recorded the voices were amazing little singers weren't they? Amazed me, how good they were. I particularly liked the one when they visited the Nile. :) Colt watched them with glee.

My favorite! That and the Jungle one. We STILL watch them for nostalgia's sake. We bought her the characters and she obsessed over it all for years (anything with that theme)--but in a good way. She learned from that show, subtle things about how to interact etc. I am VERY grateful.

OhHumbleOne,
You're not going to make me watch John Wayne are you? I mean--I am feeling you, but I am also feeling a little bored at the thought of it...
I know we're all just passing through on our journeys, but I am really glad that we are on each other's wavelength; it is great fun.

Nah, we can watch whatever you would like I'll get a fire going while you make some popcorn and don't sit in that corner of the couch, that's the dog's spot. Oh yeah the dogs don't like salt on their popcorn so ya might wanna make two batches

Consider it done.

Cats like a lot of butter on thiers

You know it really is all about that frequency that vibration. I honestly believe things like time and space are insignificant, some grand illusion if you will. It certainly is not as important as we believe it is. I am a spiritual being having this human experience, not sure why. The experience is really so fleeting when looked at in the perspective of eternity it is almost laughable.
I have shared much with you over the past couple years and while we are physically seperated by the entire USA I have felt closer to you than I have felt with people I could reach out and touch.
Now lets see favorites, well when it comes to music, films or literature I am afraid I am deeply entrenched in the classics. I mean how can you compare what is being played today to something like George Strait's "All my Ex's Live In Texas or Tom T Halls "You Can't Roller Skate In A Buffalo Herd." As for books there is nothing quite as spell binding as the original version of "Horse Follow Closely" by Gawani and well as far as movies go ya can't go wrong with anything starring John Wayne.
Couldn't resist, across the miles I reach my hand out to you and I can feel you take it my Dear Friend

GrowingUp--I loved your comment. Don't apologize! There is a lot in there that is interesting and you have given me some great ideas in terms of musical exploration--always fun. Thank you!

Definitely. Thanks.

It's excellent how that works, isn't it?

It is!

Quintesse, we must be on the same frequency, because now, after reading your reply, I am flying too! :) Thank YOU.

Springwhisper--We're even, because I adore you too and I believe that you are an amazing teacher. Your comment got me all teary. You connected with that boy, probably in a way he will always remember. Wow.<br />
It is astonishing really, how all of life can be summed up so easily; we all just desperately want to be understood and accepted and loved for who we are. All the rest is just distraction. To paraphrase REM--simple props to occupy our time...<br />
Getting on the same frequency with others--interacting in a fulfilling way, that's really what it's all about. <br />
I thank you for breathing life into me today. Your comment and you compliment lifted me right off my chair. I am flying. Thank you.

I absolutely LOVE this story, Quintesse. It's wonderful, heartwarming and touching. <br />
<br />
I often think about being on the same frequency with someone else, about bonding, connecting. It is very rare indeed and often only momentary, but when it happens, the world somehow seems to slow down... well, at least that's the way I feel it. I can't really describe it with words but yes, sometimes it 'feels like more than love' - I admire your ability to express your feelings with words, Quintesse. You are amazing.<br />
<br />
Some time ago, I was talking with my students about making friends and connecting with other people. We all agreed that openly sharing oneself AND attentively listening to others are the keys that can help us form a meaningful bond. But I told them that sometimes, it might obviously be very difficult to share oneself and even if we do, not everyone can UNDERSTAND what we really want to express. What I meant, was that sometimes we just communicate beyond words, and in order to be understood, we need to come across someone who can just FEEL us. I'm not sure if they all got me, but there was one student who said:<br />
<br />
'I know exactly what you mean. I often feel that I express myself quite well with words, but still, people rarely understand my ESSENCE.'<br />
<br />
Oh, my, I loved it when he said it! And in this exact moment he knew I felt his essence and I knew he felt mine. This was a perfect moment of bonding. <br />
<br />
Thank you so much for sharing this story. It speaks to me on so many levels.

Rabbit, I think that is the nicest comment I've ever received. <br />
Thanks so much. <br />
We are already friends here. That is a pretty good start. I sometimes think about sitting across the table from people I have met here, toasting for real. It is fun to think about. Thanks for making my day. It was a really great thing to say.

I can see an experience group forming - sort of healthy competition to out-nice each other in making comments on Quintesse stories. I'd better get moving on it.

"It's nice to be nice to the nice."
Thank you Oscar. You are always nice.

Every time I read one of your stories I am left with a feeling of "Wow. I wish I knew her." Great story. (P.S. - Dvorak's 9th Symphony is one of my favorite pieces too.)

It's all about connecting. Thanks for reading and for leaving such nice comments. <br />
This story means a lot to me. Everybody just wants to be accepted for the unique person they are, but getting that out there--who you really are, what makes you happy, sad, what causes your heart to skip--it's not always easy to express it all. Someone might mock you, or turn away in disgust at something you find beautiful. It is not just the search for like-mindedness, it is a search for love, for that fleeting feeling that you have been touched by another, that someone has linked their soul to yours, even for a second. That linking, that sharing--it is like water, blood. It is what drives us all I think.

Oh, my, gosh it was like you were reading my mind. I could not come up with the words do describe what I, and hopefully alot of others, have been looking for. Thanks. Awsome.

Thanks Luna. I think I got a little carried away with this idea, but it's like this:<br />
When I sit outside and stare at the sky with a friend, I feel transported, ethereal and full of wonder and love.<br />
But when I'm alone, I just feel ...alone. There is something to be said for shared sight.<br />
<br />
And Saleem, I like Mozart too and I loved that movie because I liked the way it attempted to illustrate what true genius is. Friends then. Okay. Done.

It is really great induction. Dvorak's 9 symphony. my favorite movie is Amadeus so I think we have a lot in common.<br />
Count me in as your friend.

I really like this story, specially the Shared Sight part,thanks for sharing.

Oscar--- there you go. You and I always seem to find one another. We're always hovering around one another's frequencies, apparently.<br />
They really should have sub-categories within experiences, don't you think?<br />
"Short and Simple" and "Long-Winded Self-Indulgent Ramblings"<br />
Guess which category I would be drawn to? Go ahead, ask me which is my favorite way to express myself?<br />
I like that you said. "The interest in knowing another's favorite of anything shows an openness to love."<br />
That's what I was trying to say but I used 1003 words to say it. I can't help it.

I had come to this group to post something short and simple. As fate would have it, upon your story I stumbled, posted by you this very day. The interest in knowing another's favorite of anything shows an openness to love. Perhaps a good way to begin each day is to tell myself: "I'm lovable, and I'm capable of love." Once it is established as a fact to be embraced for the day, the possibilities are endless.

N0, hey! Thanks.<br />
I am feeling better--it's the sharing. It really does help.

Woman, I know you're an art lover and I knew you would get this, thanks for reading the whole thing--you are a good friend. I thought of you, I know you like museums. I don't get to NYC much but I have been to the museums and you often see people, just standing together, staring. The best is when they are holding hands. That is the joy of art. <br />
I prefer the written word myself. I had a friend here once and we read a book together--chapter by chapter--logged in daily and exchanged ideas, how it made us feel. It was fun. I miss him. But as I said, there are a million ways to share. <br />
This story was inspired by the shocking number of people here who like to share their favorite songs. I just couldn't understand it all--the " I want to know what you are listening to right now" crowd--and then it hit me. Maybe someone else is listening to the same thing--or maybe you can induce them to do so, thereby enhancing your enjoyment as you share with them. I am dense sometimes about some things--but now I get it. There can be joy in that. <br />
But mostly, thank you for saying I am a treasure. That is a nice thing to say to someone. I have a had a rough time, self-esteem wise lately--and that really touched me, that comment. You made me feel relevant, like what I say matters, and that has meant a lot to me this day. <br />
I will check out Greta Garbo on your recommendation. I am a hopeless romantic. I will love it, no doubt--then I will share with you my thoughts and feelings and we will bond.<br />
Thank you.

Thank you Q. You will love that movie. There is a famous scene in the movie where she spends time feeling and touching the room where she has just spent the night with her lover ... so as to imprint it on all her senses. I so relate to those scenes ...

I am an art lover but equally relate to the written word too ... hence I also understood what you were getting at in your story! :-)

I can't wait to see it. Thanks again. I am easily imprintable. I will relate as well, I'm sure.

Wonderful Q. Your statement "the point of art in all its forms, to connect with others, and have them connect with each other through the art, the piece being the conduit for emotion" could have been a quote from me (sort of) lol ... it's something I have always felt very strongly about ... that artistic forms help us to connect and share emotion with each other. If I look at a painting and feel a certain thing .. and you look at that painting and it evokes similar emotions ... that is incredibly powerful. For me it's one of those "meaning of life" discoveries ... a proof that we can share the same vision. A bond as you point out. <br />
<br />
It's true of all artistic forms of course. For me, the movie "Queen Christina" (with Greta Garbo) is THE MOST romantic movie of all time, bar none. The scenes between her and John Gilbert are, for me, the most wonderful ex<x>pression of how it feels to spend time with a precious lover. All I need now is to find a man out there somewhere who sees the same thing that I do ... haha ... if only it was THAT simple ... and your idea of a dating site ba<x>sed on those things would be great! It might at least bring people together who WOULD take the time to do their homework ... now to me that's what matchmaking is all about!<br />
<br />
Thank you for this wonderful insightful piece Q. You're a treasure.

Thank you Gwanji. You always have something nice to say. It is the essence of this place, of course, but it is the essence of life as well.<br />
This is the conclusion I have come to.

this is the most beautiful thing i have read here on EP, and has quite left me speechless. thank you, thank you, thank you. you have it ever so right.

Thank you sweet Paco.<br />
I spent hours on this last night, watching clips of the movie, listening to the music, alternately sobbing and smiling. <br />
I would like to spend the rest of my life getting to know people's favorite things, just for the chance of possibly reveling in that same-frequency euphoria for a while. <br />
I've always liked connecting with people, but I have been out of sorts lately, off my game. <br />
I have been lonely. <br />
Perhaps this story will jump start me again.

I hope it does my friend.
Paco35 :-)

Wonderful piece. I believe its what gives hope to all of us. The ultimate dream to seek a heart to heart, soul to<br />
soul, mind to mind validation and enchancement to<br />
ourselves.<br />
Bravo on your story.