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A Favor For Him Or Me??

At a benefit for a lost love one I met this man, that I was extremely attracted too in everyway possible. It turns out he also was attracted to me and ask somebody to introduce him to me. After playing hard to get and going out on a few dates I could tell this was going to be a relationship like no other I had yet experienced. Within a few months he told me he loved me and our relationship took off, right into living together, even talks about marriage. To shorten this up… he got arrested was sentenced 3-10 years almost 8 months ago and up until last Friday I have been there for him 100% with money on his books, lawyer fees, every visit and even spending time with his children and other family members. Last Friday I got a "Dear Jonh" letter from him telling me he was letting me go, that this is unfair to me and I should move on with me life. He said I deserve to be happy and he is holding me back from that and one day he hopes I see this as him doing me a huge favor. I have been going through the emotions, but really believe he loves me and he thinks this is the best for me….but it is my choice to wait because I know love like this doesn’t happen twice. I have sent him letters and tried to go for a visit just to be refused by him....how do you let go of somebody that you know loves you and you love them
kimheartach kimheartach 31-35, F 1 Response Jan 30, 2012

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This is terribly painful for you. However, I would respect his wishes, and you really don't have much choice as he won't respond to you. Three to ten years is a long time, and I would think not only is he being fair to you by letting you go, but he is also thinking of himself. Consider being in his shoes. He must be worried sick that you would find someone else in the future, which is very likely, even though you can't see that now. As painful as letting you go is for him, he knows it is better than you rejecting him for someone else further along. He does not want to keep hope alive for fear of being rejected and hurt. I know you think that you would never do that, but believe me, he is being very practical and realistic. How you let go is the same as anyone else who has lost someone. Time and distance, and keeping as busy and distracted as possible in the meantime. It will still hurt like hell, but given time the pain will lessen. I am really sorry. I know how painful being apart from someone you love hurts, especially when it's over.