A Blessing And A Curse

What has that to do with the original post? Oh because God is love right? Don't bother explaining. If you believe in Jesus and all that that's great but please font shove it down our throats in a clandestine manner. I did not say a word about God, Jesus or the bible in my post so I fail to understand why you thought I wanted to hear about all those laws and scriptures? I understand you have a desire to convert all and sundry but trust me this is not the way to do it. You would be better off actually showing GENUINE interest in the people you wish to proselytise as opposed to attempting to hit us over the head with "gods love" and the bible. That is just off putting.

Wow! What a beautiful story M. Truly inspiring. I love everything you said there, trusting explicitly, giving not just to get but giving because you want your partner to be happy. That is beautiful. I really do hope you two go the distance. After the day I've had, reading your story has given me some hope. Thank you so much for sharing.

This is a wonderful story. I hope and pray that one day I will find true love without conditions!! Thanks for sharing your beautiful story!! :-)

Thank you Red. I agree, true love means a lot more than just flowers and candy. Thank you for your comment. :-)

Thanks Kay :-)

Thanks you Daisy. :-)

Too many definitions and interpretations indeed. Some are true, and some are more valid than others. I like that definition. I do believe that is one of the truest forms of love, selfless and self sacrificial. I think one would be a fool to let go of something like that. Thanks for the comment. :-)

That's always a good question to ask yourself. I'd like to think that I am pretty realistic about what I expect from a living relationship. Putting it simply, friendship and mutual attraction would be the two things I would place great value on. Of course other things come into play, life ambitions and compatibility are also important but these are things that make a good friendship and an even better partner for life. Having said that I also think that you should give people time to grow so you should not dismiss someone who does not look like the finished article. Its complicated as I do not think there is one formula. Somewhere along the lines you hope you meet the right person at the right time and hopefully both if you will make the right decisions at that moment.

Well I really believe it happens when you least expect it. Simply put, need to stop looking and just let those friendships develop into something else. I don't think your mind always sets you up with the right person since we have so much media telling us what should happen when we are young, shaping our unconscious mind. You just have to think, what you want for the future and is that person able to give you what you want. What can I say, Iv experienced obsessive love twice and the best relationship came from a girl I least expected it from. (Who wasn't one of the girls I was obsessed with). "Real love" will develop, even for a friend, if you allow yourselves to argue and basically align yourselves up to one another so your both on the same wavelength. Once that happens, I don't think anything can really destroy that love.

I can certainly see what you mean about developing a friendship. I would agree that that would be a far more difficult bond to break. Being that you are also friends, one would hope that you care for each other as individuals as opposed to people that just want something from the other. I think a lot of what we call "love" today is pretty selfish and self serving. A lot of people are only together for convenience, not because they actually admire the other person and would like to see them grow. That's my opinion anyway.

and mine too, although you know the girls will hate us saying this with their addiction to Disney movies. lol, well obviously not all girls, how incredibly sexist of me :-o.

Haha. If anyone should ever accuse you of being sexist I would have no other obligation than to concur. Hahaha... :-)

Thank you so very much J. I am inclined to agree with both those statements. Relationships ARE often lop-sided, it is very rare, extremely rare to find a couple were the love that is shared is mutual. It is really disheartening to see when people place greater value on things such as financial security over true friendship, looks over compatibility. That seems to be the direction that most relationships take. People often settling for what they are not really happy with because in their minds and hearts that is the best they can get. I am sorry to say this but I can definitely see why and how this happens. Finding someone you are compatible with, who you are attracted to, who feels for you in the way you feel for them is almost impossible. In my case it has always been a case of right person wrong time, or right time wrong person. It is so difficult to find the right one, one wonders whether it is even possible. It seems rather like a fairy tale as opposed to reality. Here's me still trying to write my own story. I hope it ends well. Who knows? It may very well end well, or it may not. We shall see. Thanks again. :-)

True love, the kind you write about and bears its own reward, does not grow on every tree. As it grows, the lopsided angle balances out over time. It did for me.

That's wonderful to hear Ethiopian. Glad you found the genuine article. :-)

Thank you! After living with the "genuine article" for more than 50 years and seeing it blossom, grow and multiply from mere fascination to sacrificially unending love, I am beginning to be convinced that real love is perhaps a residue of the original image of God in mankind. By the way, there is no curse whatsoever in love!

I like that. Thanks for sharing. :-)

Not necessarily true! The "inside job", for example, is a mismatch with love that is patient and kind: neither jealous nor conceited nor proud. Perhaps St. Paul is right when writing, "What I know now is only partial; then it will be complete --as complete as God's knowledge of me." (1 Cor. 13:12)

Ethiopian if you can't have patients and kindness for yourself it will be difficult to have it for anyone else. Jealousy and conceit happen only when you compare yourself to others and feel inadequate. A selfish love is not a true love. If you have love and compassion for yourself you will naturally feel love and compassion for others.

Mc0689, you said it! There is "selfish love"; and there is "true love" without anything in common.

Sooo true!!!

Okay this is detracting from the original post. I'd rather not continue with this discussion. Thanks for commenting though.

I understand, and no problem. Didn't mean to distract you with God's Love. *smile*

God Loves You still. Tc

Okay. Thank you.

Haha. I've heard it said too. I'm glad you have experienced it. :-)

Jesus loves us but will send us to hell if we do not repent and believe in him to save our souls. That love sounds conditional does it not? Love me, or go to hell. I'd say that's pretty conditional.

Conditions on who gets in His Kingdom. But still no conditions on His Love for us. Do you really believe that Christ don't Love you because you send yourself to hell?..God has standards, sugar. You or I dont repent and turn from our wicked ways then of course we go to hell. Do you think God is a wimp? But God is so wonderful that he gives us time to repent..cause he would

...rather us choose life in Him than spend eternity in hell with Satan. But God loves us enough for us to make our own choices. He gives us free will.

Sorry... I accidently pushed post. :-)

I agree. One does not start off in love and that love decreases. If it is true love it must increase. Thank you for your comment.

Thank you very much. I'm glad there are still some people that believe in the importance of love.

Thank you my friend. Much appreciated. :-)

My friend the words you selected.

Ii say the exact same thing to all I meet.
Many total strangers. It's a great way to meet and greet others. So upbeat and positive. You are the first ive communicated with on this site.

Ahhh my friend. Have a spectulalar day.

Thank you. Have a good day.

I wish love wouldn't hurt but if it's true lve than it should never hurt right?

I don't know about that. There is no such thing as a perfect mate. Two imperfect people cannot make perfection. It just doesn't exist. We hope to go through life with as little hassle as we can but life isn't like that. Nothings perfect.

Thank you inferis. Love the avatar btw. Very cool pic.

Sad but true.

The question should then be, is it true love if you're willing to let it go? If it was not meant to be and obstacles are impossible to overcome, perhaps you are not soul mates.

Say goodbye, right now. Simple as that.

But what if you never experienced something as intense and real in your life? What if he wants to build a life together and you imagine that scenario everyday in your head and picture happiness, yet most people you know tell you to let go.. When I'm not with him life is dull and all I think about is him unless I find ways to distract myself. Basically choosing to be with him would be choosing to uproot my life and I'm scared about that sacrifice due to trust issues. The choice is all or nothing there is no in-between for us anymore.

What is it that you see in him?

It's more of how he makes me feel.. he's responds to my needs.. especially physically. We can also talk about things, and joke around like kids. When i'm with him, the world is brighter and i'm more present than I have ever been. He shows his emotions openly and easily, however the only problem is his secrecy. He talks to his baby mother's regularly and I think part of the bigger problem is my own trust issues with this scenario. Especially cause he kept that they even existed for the first few months until I figured it out and confronted him.

Okay alarm bells just went ringing. Your trust issues seem to be justified if he kept that sort of information from you. And the fact that you had to confront him about it doesnt make it any better either. Secrecy is always going to cause problems. He is always going to be in communication with his childrens mothers if he is a responsible father, but if you are to be involved with him in the long run, it is best that you work out your trust issues with that now before you make any sort of commitment. It would be difficult for any one on here to say what would be right or wrong to do as we are not in a position to observe your relationship consistantly and from an unbiased view.

Thank you, I know it's not anyone's position to tell me what is right or wrong but opinions help me see more clearly. I was always a clear headed person but for some reason with him everything gets quite foggy and I often lose coherent judgement. You are right in that moving in together or taking things further won't help the situation if there are trust issues that still need to be sorted out. Maybe when he gets back from the war we can commit to counseling before such a step. Thank you.

I hear you. Love has a tendency to scramble our brain matter slightly. Its never a bad idea to get a second or third opinion. Counseling is never a bad thing as you can get a third party to look at your relationship from an unbiased view. I wish you all the best. Hope it all goes well. :-)

Thank you zooni. :-)

Indeed. :-)

Thank you mishrarun. It is indeed a double edged sword. You cannot know its pleasures without experiencing the pain.

yeah ... i have felt the love when i had my best days with my girlfriend ... but now i feel like a broken toy ... ... just painfull for me ... so i have experience both the pain and pleasure .... thanks

I try my best to write from the heart always. Thank you lady. :-)

Yep. There is nothing else quite like it. :-)

Thank you didi. I appreciate your comment. :-)

How can you love someone you don't know dear? What you see on TV is not the real person, it is a character that someone portrays. Regardless of that fact. How would you ever meet this person. And even if you could, they may not choose to like you. Reality is what's real, fantasy can be exciting but it is not reality. Don't confuse the two. I hope that helps. :-)

Thank you. It sort of helped :)

I'll take sorta. I wish you the best of luck. :-)

Thanks :)