A Blessing And A Curse

I think people only focus so intensely on love because they realise they need it. If you've been in love once in your life it would be hard to ignore that empty feeling that you would have inside. That void or gap that can only be filled by that one type of love.

Many have risked all just to have this love, risked their lives, their families lives, risked everything, all for the sake of love. I agree, love normally comes when you least expect it, sometimes from the most unlikely sources.

But be careful when you take a bite of this fruit, for it will open your eyes. And when you truly find it you will not cover yourself up, you will not die. On the contrary, you will open yourself up uncovering all that you once hid, and you will feel as though new life has been poured into your spirit. This is the curse of the loved ones. But a beautiful curse this surely is. And blessed are those that get to taste of its bitter sweet nectar.

Sad to say very few have ever felt true love. Very few know what true love is. No its not easy, but its worth it. And there is nothing more worthy of our devotion on this planet.

LOVE WILL CHANGE YOUR LIFE. It will also change you.
Scorpio1987 Scorpio1987
22-25, M
45 Responses Sep 9, 2012

What a beautiful sonnet! Very beautifully said. I am falling in love with somebody and he makes my heart sing. I actually met him on experience project LOL you're right love can find you in the most unusual of places :-).

Thank you so much for sharing . It really helps to know your not alone. I am in a torn-between the two type of situation and I am afraid to leap, afraid to jump, afraid to take that RISK of loosing and hurting my family. I have a three year old toddler and I am afraid to break up our home.. Or is it already broken? I do love my bf..but enough to not eventually take that RISK sooner then later? I'm not sure. I'm torn...

What is today the greatest unacknowledged cause for blessing OR curse is God's detailed Law concerning Unsolved Murders and Death Sentence for a crime committed by hanging on a post. The Law states: "The body should not remain hanging overnight. It must be buried the same day, because a dead body hanging on a post brings God's curse on the land. Bury the body so that you will not defile the land that the LORD your God is giving you." (Deut. 21)

With a direct bearing on the unique kind of death Jesus suffered on the cross, eternal blessing OR curse follow obedience or disobedience to the Law respectively.
(John 3: 14-21; 12: 32-33; 14: 18-21; 19: 30-37)

What has that to do with the original post? Oh because God is love right? Don't bother explaining. If you believe in Jesus and all that that's great but please font shove it down our throats in a clandestine manner. I did not say a word about God, Jesus or the bible in my post so I fail to understand why you thought I wanted to hear about all those laws and scriptures? I understand you have a desire to convert all and sundry but trust me this is not the way to do it. You would be better off actually showing GENUINE interest in the people you wish to proselytise as opposed to attempting to hit us over the head with "gods love" and the bible. That is just off putting.

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At the ripe old age of 48 I think I have found true love, but only time will tell. After a violent relationship with my daughter's father some 30 years ago, relationships have been passionate, intense, loving but I didn't know they weren't love. They felt like it but I wasn't willing to give more than I was getting in return. It was always "What can you do for me". Now I think I've found it because, I want him to happy more than I want it for myself. I want to give him everything I have, unconditionally, I trust him explicitly. Of course I am attracted to him, but I also love his mind, I respect him and truly admire the person he is.

When I look back I was so cynical, I was actually more than willing to settle for a good person, that treated me well, knowing that they could never have the power to truly hurt me. I told my friends not to look to closely at a physical attraction or to continue to look for "Chemistry". I also thought that 50/50 relationships was a bit of a fantasy. That those looking for true love relationship would be left battered and bruised, if they ever found it.

I now feel that I have to completely rethink what I thought love was about. For the first time I realise what the songs are about...

Wow! What a beautiful story M. Truly inspiring. I love everything you said there, trusting explicitly, giving not just to get but giving because you want your partner to be happy. That is beautiful. I really do hope you two go the distance. After the day I've had, reading your story has given me some hope. Thank you so much for sharing.

This is a wonderful story. I hope and pray that one day I will find true love without conditions!! Thanks for sharing your beautiful story!! :-)

For someone as young as you, this is a breath of surprise. True love is never about romance alone; it is bringing out the best you can become, individually, yet shared together.

Thank you Red. I agree, true love means a lot more than just flowers and candy. Thank you for your comment. :-)

I agree

Thanks Kay :-)

ah . . . so true . . . Love is a "beautiful curse"! Thanks for your insightful post!

Thanks you Daisy. :-)

Unfortunately there are several interpretations of "love". In terms of interpersonal relationships it is all too often referred to lust, sexual attraction/intercourse, sexual hedonism etc.
In reality true love ( as opposed to infatuation ) can be very hard work. Think of the parents with a severely handicapped child.

The best definition of "love" I encountered went something as follows viz.
Love is a state of being in which the happiness and security of the "other" is inextricably bound to and hence inseparable from the happiness and security of "self".

Too many definitions and interpretations indeed. Some are true, and some are more valid than others. I like that definition. I do believe that is one of the truest forms of love, selfless and self sacrificial. I think one would be a fool to let go of something like that. Thanks for the comment. :-)

Here'a an interesting question and a link to a YouTube video. Is the love you talk about a natural obsession or a group of expectations brought on by the media? Nature or Nurture?


That's always a good question to ask yourself. I'd like to think that I am pretty realistic about what I expect from a living relationship. Putting it simply, friendship and mutual attraction would be the two things I would place great value on. Of course other things come into play, life ambitions and compatibility are also important but these are things that make a good friendship and an even better partner for life. Having said that I also think that you should give people time to grow so you should not dismiss someone who does not look like the finished article. Its complicated as I do not think there is one formula. Somewhere along the lines you hope you meet the right person at the right time and hopefully both if you will make the right decisions at that moment.

Well I really believe it happens when you least expect it. Simply put, need to stop looking and just let those friendships develop into something else. I don't think your mind always sets you up with the right person since we have so much media telling us what should happen when we are young, shaping our unconscious mind. You just have to think, what you want for the future and is that person able to give you what you want. What can I say, Iv experienced obsessive love twice and the best relationship came from a girl I least expected it from. (Who wasn't one of the girls I was obsessed with). "Real love" will develop, even for a friend, if you allow yourselves to argue and basically align yourselves up to one another so your both on the same wavelength. Once that happens, I don't think anything can really destroy that love.

I can certainly see what you mean about developing a friendship. I would agree that that would be a far more difficult bond to break. Being that you are also friends, one would hope that you care for each other as individuals as opposed to people that just want something from the other. I think a lot of what we call "love" today is pretty selfish and self serving. A lot of people are only together for convenience, not because they actually admire the other person and would like to see them grow. That's my opinion anyway.

and mine too, although you know the girls will hate us saying this with their addiction to Disney movies. lol, well obviously not all girls, how incredibly sexist of me :-o.

Haha. If anyone should ever accuse you of being sexist I would have no other obligation than to concur. Hahaha... :-)

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I have read that real love is giving over the power to destroy you to the one you love, and trusting that they will not use it .... I have found that at least so far in my life, relationships are lop-sided -- one always loves more than the other, and for that reason mine haven't worked out ... I wish differently for you, my brave and hopeful young man.

Thank you so very much J. I am inclined to agree with both those statements. Relationships ARE often lop-sided, it is very rare, extremely rare to find a couple were the love that is shared is mutual. It is really disheartening to see when people place greater value on things such as financial security over true friendship, looks over compatibility. That seems to be the direction that most relationships take. People often settling for what they are not really happy with because in their minds and hearts that is the best they can get. I am sorry to say this but I can definitely see why and how this happens. Finding someone you are compatible with, who you are attracted to, who feels for you in the way you feel for them is almost impossible. In my case it has always been a case of right person wrong time, or right time wrong person. It is so difficult to find the right one, one wonders whether it is even possible. It seems rather like a fairy tale as opposed to reality. Here's me still trying to write my own story. I hope it ends well. Who knows? It may very well end well, or it may not. We shall see. Thanks again. :-)

True love, the kind you write about and bears its own reward, does not grow on every tree. As it grows, the lopsided angle balances out over time. It did for me.

That's wonderful to hear Ethiopian. Glad you found the genuine article. :-)

Thank you! After living with the "genuine article" for more than 50 years and seeing it blossom, grow and multiply from mere fascination to sacrificially unending love, I am beginning to be convinced that real love is perhaps a residue of the original image of God in mankind. By the way, there is no curse whatsoever in love!

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True love is completely inside job. When ever you are able to look into a mirror and go deep within yourself, and lay down all judgment, and see how wonderful you are you will fall in love with yourself. Your ability to love others is limited only by your ability to love yourself. Once you have fallen in love with yourself you are living in a state of love.

I like that. Thanks for sharing. :-)

Not necessarily true! The "inside job", for example, is a mismatch with love that is patient and kind: neither jealous nor conceited nor proud. Perhaps St. Paul is right when writing, "What I know now is only partial; then it will be complete --as complete as God's knowledge of me." (1 Cor. 13:12)

Ethiopian if you can't have patients and kindness for yourself it will be difficult to have it for anyone else. Jealousy and conceit happen only when you compare yourself to others and feel inadequate. A selfish love is not a true love. If you have love and compassion for yourself you will naturally feel love and compassion for others.

Mc0689, you said it! There is "selfish love"; and there is "true love" without anything in common.

Sooo true!!!

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Christ loves us regardless rather we send ourselves to hell or not. Christ didn't ever say he would hate those who hates him.
God made hell for Lucifer and his angels not for mankind. But if man gonna be influenced by Lucifer then God has no choice but to send that person by the choices the indivdual has made for himself. So Are you saying God is not a Loving Unconditional God because He has rules and standards for us to enjoy His Kingdom?

Okay this is detracting from the original post. I'd rather not continue with this discussion. Thanks for commenting though.

I understand, and no problem. Didn't mean to distract you with God's Love. *smile*

God Loves You still. Tc

Okay. Thank you.

I read in Reader's Digest , it says , Man gives love for sex and Woman gives sex for love .  It is bad for my religion but I like it . I am a changed man .   

Haha. I've heard it said too. I'm glad you have experienced it. :-)

There is no Love that is greater than the Love of Christ. We, even us who serve Him, really have no ideal how deep the love of Christ is. We as mankind love with conditions. ' I love you if you promise to always love me.' What if that person left you after promising to love with that condition and fell in love with another? Hurt, pain, anger, maybe even vengeance comes to play in our "love". None of us has really contained true love yet til we start letting Christ work His kind of Love in our soul.

Jesus loves us but will send us to hell if we do not repent and believe in him to save our souls. That love sounds conditional does it not? Love me, or go to hell. I'd say that's pretty conditional.

Conditions on who gets in His Kingdom. But still no conditions on His Love for us. Do you really believe that Christ don't Love you because you send yourself to hell?..God has standards, sugar. You or I dont repent and turn from our wicked ways then of course we go to hell. Do you think God is a wimp? But God is so wonderful that he gives us time to repent..cause he would

...rather us choose life in Him than spend eternity in hell with Satan. But God loves us enough for us to make our own choices. He gives us free will.

Sorry... I accidently pushed post. :-)

Love is the alchemy that changes the baser metal into gold.It is not a falling in love but rising in love.One has to grow in love.Love is a growth,and a finest growth possible.Great post man.

I agree. One does not start off in love and that love decreases. If it is true love it must increase. Thank you for your comment.

I agree completely with this story! Very well said young man!


Thank you very much. I'm glad there are still some people that believe in the importance of love.

Wonderful way of looking at love. Thanks for posting.

Thank you my friend. Much appreciated. :-)

My friend the words you selected.

Ii say the exact same thing to all I meet.
Many total strangers. It's a great way to meet and greet others. So upbeat and positive. You are the first ive communicated with on this site.

Ahhh my friend. Have a spectulalar day.

Thank you. Have a good day.

Very very true, and you are subject to more hurt than ever before. You want to believe in the best in that loved one and even though he has hurt you a million times before and promises to never hurt you again and you know he will break it, you love him and still give him chance after chance. Love can destroy people so much.

I wish love wouldn't hurt but if it's true lve than it should never hurt right?

I don't know about that. There is no such thing as a perfect mate. Two imperfect people cannot make perfection. It just doesn't exist. We hope to go through life with as little hassle as we can but life isn't like that. Nothings perfect.

Very very true, and you are subject to more hurt than ever before. You want to believe in the best in that loved one and even though he has hurt you a million times before and promises to never hurt you again and you know he will break it, you love him and still give him chance after chance. Love can destroy people so much.

Very poignant. Nothing quickens the pulse or revitalizes the spirit like it; no drug or high can even come close. Nothing can compare to the heart rending agony of having it taken from ye, either. But in the end, even if it is lost, you are better for having experienced it. I would give up most anything just for a single word from the one I loves lips. Much respect, sir.

Thank you inferis. Love the avatar btw. Very cool pic.

so true

You are very right there love is a blessing and a curse

Sad but true.

But when do you let go? If you have true love but know it's wrong and in might never work on the long run.. when do you say goodbye?

The question should then be, is it true love if you're willing to let it go? If it was not meant to be and obstacles are impossible to overcome, perhaps you are not soul mates.

Say goodbye, right now. Simple as that.

But what if you never experienced something as intense and real in your life? What if he wants to build a life together and you imagine that scenario everyday in your head and picture happiness, yet most people you know tell you to let go.. When I'm not with him life is dull and all I think about is him unless I find ways to distract myself. Basically choosing to be with him would be choosing to uproot my life and I'm scared about that sacrifice due to trust issues. The choice is all or nothing there is no in-between for us anymore.

What is it that you see in him?

It's more of how he makes me feel.. he's responds to my needs.. especially physically. We can also talk about things, and joke around like kids. When i'm with him, the world is brighter and i'm more present than I have ever been. He shows his emotions openly and easily, however the only problem is his secrecy. He talks to his baby mother's regularly and I think part of the bigger problem is my own trust issues with this scenario. Especially cause he kept that they even existed for the first few months until I figured it out and confronted him.

Okay alarm bells just went ringing. Your trust issues seem to be justified if he kept that sort of information from you. And the fact that you had to confront him about it doesnt make it any better either. Secrecy is always going to cause problems. He is always going to be in communication with his childrens mothers if he is a responsible father, but if you are to be involved with him in the long run, it is best that you work out your trust issues with that now before you make any sort of commitment. It would be difficult for any one on here to say what would be right or wrong to do as we are not in a position to observe your relationship consistantly and from an unbiased view.

Thank you, I know it's not anyone's position to tell me what is right or wrong but opinions help me see more clearly. I was always a clear headed person but for some reason with him everything gets quite foggy and I often lose coherent judgement. You are right in that moving in together or taking things further won't help the situation if there are trust issues that still need to be sorted out. Maybe when he gets back from the war we can commit to counseling before such a step. Thank you.

I hear you. Love has a tendency to scramble our brain matter slightly. Its never a bad idea to get a second or third opinion. Counseling is never a bad thing as you can get a third party to look at your relationship from an unbiased view. I wish you all the best. Hope it all goes well. :-)

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Thank you zooni. :-)

Very True

Indeed. :-)

so true ... its a must read note ... loved and felt the reality of being in love ... and how hard it becomes when someone left you in the middle of the journey ......

Thank you mishrarun. It is indeed a double edged sword. You cannot know its pleasures without experiencing the pain.

yeah ... i have felt the love when i had my best days with my girlfriend ... but now i feel like a broken toy ... ... just painfull for me ... so i have experience both the pain and pleasure .... thanks

i love the feeling of being in love

Yep. There is nothing else quite like it. :-)

i didn't read something clear about love since ever .... so nice and beautiful like it :)

Thank you didi. I appreciate your comment. :-)

Can I ask you something?
I am a 15 year old girl, I am Dutch. I have dreams about a guy from TV. I have this feeling.... that we will be partners once. But it's very hard to see him on TV and kissing women. I'm almost sure that we'll love each other once. I know what true love is and really love him. I don't know what to do...

How can you love someone you don't know dear? What you see on TV is not the real person, it is a character that someone portrays. Regardless of that fact. How would you ever meet this person. And even if you could, they may not choose to like you. Reality is what's real, fantasy can be exciting but it is not reality. Don't confuse the two. I hope that helps. :-)

Thank you. It sort of helped :)

I'll take sorta. I wish you the best of luck. :-)

Thanks :)

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<p>I mean love does change you and true love always comes unexpectedly, i kind of believe you can't look for true love; it just comes, the pure love we all dream of. I mean love does come from unlikely sources and it can be very confusing. one thing i dont know though, is it better to have fallen inlove even if someone doesn't love or care about you back? or is it better to have never of fallen inlove in the first place if it means having a broken heart?</p>

This is great wrting and i agree with the message:)

Thank you lolita. :-)

Me too. Very nice!

Very well said.

Thank you panda. :-)

You are wise for your age, and your post is timely for me. In recent years, I have learned first hand that love is both truly a blessing and a curse:

Just over 2 years ago, I met a man who came into my life when it was in turmoil. He became my rock, my shoulder to cry on, while giving my wise words of encouragement, loving me through it all despite what I threw at him. I had been on a love quest after a failed marriage, but had gotten myself into trouble and was heartbroken and crazy when he met me, after having recently fallen in love with a man who didn't love me back. Even at my age, there was still so much I had to learn. My friend, who's my man now, knew that I was the love of HIS life the first day we met...the one who he'd always been looking for, but he wasn't mine. Still, he waited for me....all this time. Finally I woke up to what jewel he is, following terrible arguments, and I had to face the idea of life without him. It was then that I realized that I love him, I'm growing to love him more daily and appreciate him everyday. He has changed me for the better, and has turned my life around in the way I view things, do things, think about things, etc. You may be too young to remember this song..."I wanna know what love is, I want you to show me...I wanna feel what love is...", but I think of that sometimes, because he has and is teaching me what love is."

My heart was stone, but he kept chipping at it, and worked his way through, now I'm deep in it, and I hope it's what it seems to be, and that it can last forever. And if it doesn't for some reason, at least I can say I experienced it. Thank you for your post!


What a beautiful story. You must post this as a separate story, it really is inspirational. Friendship seems to be a great foundation for a loving relationship. I do know that song, I know it very well in fact and I quite like it too. Love us truly the only thing worth living for, the only thing worth dying for and the only thing worth fighting for. It is an amazing feeling, one that I hope more people could experience. I am happy for you, and I too hope that it is what it seems to be. :-) Thank you for your comment dear.

You are quite welcome, thanks very much. I enjoyed reading your story; it is really so to the point. Cheers.

Thank you so much xxx. I'm glad you enjoyed it.

Sometimes you fall in love, other times you grow to love someone. One can have you so euphoric you might not be interested in eating. The other is a little more grounded. If either end, I don't think there is a way to measure the pain of separation, between the two. But this I believe, you should experience both, to know the depth of true passion, that can take place between two people. Cheers.

Beautifully said. And I agree. Thank you for your comment XXX. :-)

Much older, but not necessarily wiser. I believe I have been in love many times. Have been married for 45 years, but have not been involved in a romantic love for all of those, but I certainly believe people can be. When I was much younger I felt I was in love with others before I was married and perhaps I was, but for whatever reason it did not last. One thing I have seen is that in relationships where both people are not committed to the relationships it can cause a severe strain on the love of the other person. Love is much easier in the beginning when you are willing to put the other person first in your life.<br />
Many happy couples are in love and have been that way for years without getting married, but of those who do; how many think they will be a part of the 50% that get divorced. We tell each other we would die for the other, and while that may be true that would be much easier than what life may throw at you. If one becomes sick and needs to be cared for an extended period of time and will not be able to give love back because of the illness will you still love them? If one cannot find meaningful work and the other has to work multiple jobs for years to make up for it will the love remain constant. When your interests start to change as you mature will the love stay the same?<br />
Do not misunderstand I think love is a wonderful thing and it would be wonderful if we all shared it, but we do not. There are so many different types even between couples. Even if I knew one of my children was going to be one of the 50% that did not make it in marriage I would still want them to experience that initial joy. Enjoy love for as long as you can and hopefully you will chose wisely. 

"take a bite of this fruit, for it will open your eyes. And when you truly find it you will not cover yourself up, you will not die...blessed are those that get to taste of its bitter sweet nectar." <br />
Beautiful !!!

Thank you hana. Stay beautiful. :-)

You are too young to know all of the story..True love will not be yours to enjoy. Only few selected ones are given this opportunity. The rest live in an excrutiating suffering from the seperation. There are no such wise words, mediation, or other loves to take this pain away. There is no way out, transformation is in process. <br />
I know when I die I will be grateful with the result and for this unique experience of love, but right now I am still alive... and it hurts.

I hear you. Not everybody finds that love. In fact I'd say very few do. But one has to hope. I'm sorry you are in so much pain.

love hurts, I think it always does

For sure it does. That's a risk we're willing to take.

Can't be said in any better way.. i highly concur.

Thank you Aloha. :-)

Life involves many risks, but as you point out, love can well be worth it. :-D

Well worth it. Thanks M.

Very well put. I agree.

Thank you woman. :-)

So very true...

Indeed... Thank you Spring. :-)

very beautifully written. thank you for sharing :)

Thank you C and thank you for commenting. :-)