Crazy Thoughts Late At Night..private Confession Letter

Dear Tiger,
I know I've hurt you in the past, but now that I'm in love with you, you do things that upset me. You don't believe that I love you, so telling you is futile. Friday, we said we're gonna 'be about love and not talk about love', like R.Kelly says in his song(one of the few songs I like by him)...and you think I still have feelings for C(my bf before Tiger)-b_____, but I don't care about him anymore. Please believe me.

It made me feel sad, and isolated when you didn't answer my call last night, and then my text. To be honest, my first thought was that you were with someone else, but then I said to myself, 'you're being irrational, he's probably asleep', but my mind started racing again to the point where I almost jumped in my car...a 40 minute drive at midnight to see if another car was parked there...another woman....No. That's irrational. I know how much you love me, and how much you've sacrificed and put up with from me over the past two years... Then I calmed myself once more, because I know you wouldn't appreciate that kind of behaviour, and you wouldn't do that to me. I must trust. We've made so many promises to each other and you're always there for me. I shouldn't spaz about a missed phone call or text.

Then I actually looked online...did a search on Google, under "cheaters"...:(...I found spyware, that I could conceal in your condo...I thought it out in detail, but the reality is that you've never given me any reason to suspect you. It's me who stepped out. That's why I'm feeling this way. I Love you so much Tiger...I'm feeling crazy right now...

So I prayed. What I should have done in the first place. My answer was that I should be patient, and be still, so I read a little, and went to bed. I couldn't sleep, and woke up at 2, and took a shower, went back to bed at 3.

...He texted me this morning, after mine at 7:30 which stated, " GM Baby...Thinking of you. Hope you're ok...Kisses..

he responded: "GMFA(translation-good morning Fine ***...he always calls me that) ...Woke up with a migraine. I need some Lovin!:-/

All is well with Tiger and FA...thanks for reading and letting me vent as always...
TheRightFitforLife TheRightFitforLife
46-50, F
1 Response Sep 10, 2012

gooddddd, trust the person whom you love

I know.:( I'm learning. I felt very bad about having these thoughts. I didn't unload any of this crap on him... Why I posted here... Very cathartic... The last of my personal demons I hope.