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Don't Kill Me

War with my brother:
Please, don’t kill me with your words.

War with my sister:
Safe me from your acts.

War within my family:

Never hit me again.

War with my neighbour:
Don’t hate me anymore.

War in my clan, my world, my home:
Please let me stop this war.

Just thinking.
I don't have them.
I am out of words.
I am thinking about you. All the time.
You have so many faces. And I don’t know who you are.
I see here only letters and pictures. And I don’t know who are you. I know You are You. Love. I love you.
Thinking about you over and over again.
I am not sure what day it is or what hour. But I know you are there.
Loving you the way I know the best. Through the art, through my words, through my openness and no judgment.

Email. I got an email it is from You. And you are? Hm. You are You. And this is your email.

“You are a bad polish man!!! Well, it is Remembrance Day for all the British people.  World war - 1, World war - 2 and now Afghanistan, Iraq - Please put a post up tomorrow to honor them dead or alive.”

Thinking – 5 seconds, 10 seconds. Writing back.

“Please write it for me. I have no idea what to write. Give me some thoughts and I would do that. When I finish, be on standby and check if you like it.
I am not bad. I am gorgeous. Yes, I am Polish and Love making is 24/7 on my mind.”

Send. Maybe she won't the reply. What to do now? Well, why me? How does my opinion matter? I don’t celebrate anything. I don’t know how. But after a while, it appeared to me - why not me? And usually I am doing things if I am asked for them .

Anyway,"How is it?" Like, go to the war and die. Leave everything, all the future, the loved ones and go to serve your country. I am afraid to say that but I think I wouldn't be able to do that. Because it is so, those who can do that, I think they are heroes beyond measure. They deserve the best.  But at the same time, I am asking myself - why? Why do we have wars? And why we were taught and are obliged to leave our families and go to unknown places and kill and die? To kill somebody who is running in front of me, just because he is enemy. Not knowing him at all. Kill all the time and work, which was put to make him who he is. All of the mothers sacrifice, all of the teachers sacrifice, all of the society sacrifice. Just kill it. Unbelievable ! How come God is OK with that?

And just think of those mothers and families waiting for their kids who fight in foreign lands. And their grief when they receive the worst news and the life after that. Why is this  designed this way? Does It has to be like that? We can go to Mars but we can’t stop wars. Why?

Strange world !

On one side, we try to provide the best health systems, to produce the most nutritious food, to have the best healthy life styles and save every life. On another side, we send our best people to kill and the worst to die. It is interesting that, saving a cat trapped in a pipe can generate the compassion and attention of thousands of TV viewers but the reports from the war zone and about dead don’t make much impact anymore.

I got it. She sends it back. I guess it is important. And she writes:

“k put a post up do u remember the britsh forces who liberared aushwitz and beyond and now we are figting awar in iraq and afghistan world war one world war2  it was aworld war/. i love making love im gypsy but illever forget the price my nation ..britsh have paid. put a post on”

Yea. British are OK. I like them. I always liked ones that are  more intelligent than me. They are classy and I always felt that they are higher than me - higher in a good way. Like somebody, whom you can admire and follow and learn from. I like Queen too. I think she represents the values and I remember that Sex Pistols had a great song about her. Like God save the Queen and …tralalala.

Hey, wait a second. I think that Auschwitz was abandoned by German soldiers on January 21, 1945. I remember they were afraid of the Russians' offensive and hence escaped trying to clean up  behind them as much as possible. On the morning of 27th  of January when the Russian came the camp was already free. I guess, if British would have done that then we wouldn’t have communism in Poland for almost 40 years after.

OK, I have to say it. And that is why I think that British are better than me. See, alike Brits they would never say what I will say next.
For over 40 years, British were claiming, that they broke Enigma code. You know, the Secret Code which was used by Germans during Second World War in order to communicate. Because of that, the English knew everything what the Germans were planning and doing and war could be won this way. Yea, great. There is only one problem - it is the Polish did that. The Polish broke the Enigma and passed it to the Brits and never asked for any gratification. It was the matter of honour for them not to seek the glory over such a discovery. Of course, the British somehow forgot to admit how has this happened. Just a few years ago, I found in the news, that some Poles got medals as reward for what they did with Enigma plus a public "thank you" for their commendable work.

The British are great but they left the Poles alone when Hitler attacked our country. We had the treaty which was signed just before the war. They promised, that they will come and protect us and fight with us against the Germans like brothers in arms. It didn’t happen.  The English didn’t want to die for the Polish people and I totally understand that. No hard feelings. Just history.

I was overwhelmed with joy when I heard that peace process between England and Ireland was finalized. I said, "Yes that is how developed beings behave." It was the biggest victory of the century for me. The path was shown for others, how things should go. I was just wondering - why, why so long and why so many precious lives were lost. Why the killing if  the end is always inevitable. And the end is peace. Peace always was, is and will be in the end. No doubts.

So many people died in Auschwitz. So many innocent ones. Just because they did not fit the category 0f worthy of being alive. They were considered as a lower class and not even humans. Can you imagine that? I just can’t.                

We used to have school trips to Auschwitz for educational purposes'. We saw the barracks, the crematoriums, and chambers. All so real, so present. They showed us movies. We saw bulldozers pushing bodies over the ground. Hundreds, hundreds of bodies - well not even bodies, just bones covered with skin. Pushing them and piling them. You had the feeling, that these bodies are just like wooden chips. Like they were ******** of any human value. Just like the wood and this smiling guy pushing it nicely into piles before they would be burnt. You could name this picture – 'Busy Day on the Job.'

I had the same feelings when I was around 7 years old and jumping around happily with friends. At that time, I was taken to the church amphitheater to watch a movie about Jesus. It was a movie with full and detailed description on crucifixion. The nails were long and heavy and  real and they were  actually going into His legs and hands. I had a problem with sleeping for a few weeks after that. Auschwitz  still haunts me.

Just that  I can’t get it why somebody would say openly that he doesn’t believe that killing took place. Why? For me it is like  saying that the Sun is not bright. I think these people don’t want to know the truth or don’t care about it.  Most of the time, I think they know but they just try to provoke people. I wouldn’t be provoked if somebody would call me a girl knowing for sure that I am a man. But I understand that there is always a line somewhere there.

I was wondering as well, about the so called "freedom of speech". In some extremely civilized countries, where freedom of speech was never a problem, suddenly there came a movement to protect it. Like there would be an unknown danger if certain things won’t be published.  

I say,"No ways." If you are ready to publish some materials, with little value from the artistic point of view or material which has actually no value, knowing that this will bring unease, it is just another provocation. In my opinion, it has not much to do with the freedom of speech. You don’t have to print stupid stuff knowing, that it would cause problems. You can do that and this is your freedom, but you don’t have to do it to prove that you have it. Like, because of freedom of speech you don’t tell your wife that she gained a few pounds. If something is Holy for somebody, it is better to keep it the same way. There are thousands of other subjects on which you can joke about in every culture, if you only wish to give it some though and try to learn about it.

And saying, "Hey ! but we do the same with other religions."
This is not a good reason to do it. If your boss will tell you,"Listen my friend, I think I am dumb and stupid. Would you tell him "Ooo yea, you are so stupid?" I am sure not. Then saying because something that has already happened here that can happen here, simply doesn’t make sense. On the other side, these who are provoked shouldn’t come and kill these who provoke them. But this is more obvious to me.

Now I remember what my mother told me 3 days before she passed away due to stomach cancer. It was already 3 months from the moment when she started to die. I was sitting by her side, holding her hand. It was quiet. She couldn’t talk too much.  Suddenly, with no reason that I know of, she  became more awake and said, “There is only one thing which I am going to miss. I will never see the  peace between the Palestine and Israel”. I have no idea why she said that. We have never talked about that subject before. I hope I will see that.

I have a friend on skype. He is in Afghanistan now. I can feel what it means to be there. He has only one dream. To be back home as soon as possible.

Yes, every war is terrible, every violence is tragical, every loss of life is unforgivable. Those who sacrifice their lives for us, to let us live in a free society and have full chance to express ourselves, are the best of the best. They deserve the full respect and the best care when they come back home. They are role models for the others because of their selfless sacrifice. No words here can express the gratitude which I have for them. All the best on Remembrance Day Britain. I salute you.

I am not with anybody. I am not against anybody. I am just saying.



Bolek Bolek 41-45, M 37 Responses Nov 11, 2012

Your Response


That was brilliant .
I may not agree with some things but I will not deny that this is beautifully written and it took me to places most written word fails to do .
Well done .

I know so far that you are activist and that you are looking for peace in the world.
If you don't mind we can exchange some opinions here for good of all.
Could you be so kind and tell me with which views of mine you don't agree?

Blend of heart and mind...a rare thing.But so wonderfully expressed.You are an awesome writer,Peter.I must go through more of your stories.

I would love that.
Thank you for your extra ordinary interest in me.
You are an artist and that makes feeling of knowing you even much more pleasurable.

It got me thinking,yet I found it very abstract reading.The story made me think of poems at school that were assignments to read , that were written in a abstract way to make you think about the interpretation of it.The story has made me think more of all the wars from the past and the ones that are still going on.There should be no wars,no one really wins in the end.But! I will say this,I had a exchange student come and stay with us a few years ago,This student got angry and said that what happened in world war 2, was a lie,that history was wrong,it wasn't that bad.The gas chambers didn't exist, this student is'nt aloud to watch schindlers list,this person was raised this way and was only 17 years old.

I was hosting students in Canada form all over the world for 3 years. They were coming to private schools here to learn English. It was very interesting because some schools was owned by one side and students who were coming were expressing that kind of views in my place and we talked about it. Sometimes even if you have different knowledge still you can cooperate. I agree with you - no wars.
Thank you for your comment.

Very nice.. Like it

Thank you.
I hope all is well with you.

Yes.. Hope u had good thanksgiving

Yes. I am in Canada.

Wow.....that was a very empowering story.. You have a lot of talent in your writings. Great Job...:)

Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.

Haunting and poignant. The senselessness and utter futility of war, reckless and pointless loss of life...I will never comprehend. The world indeed did let Poland down as did the Vatican in my humble opinion. But I salute our serving Men & Women, and all those who have died, the unsung heroes, so that we may live in freedom and I despise the originators of any war, for whatever reason.

As my grandmother was saying - what it was that it was and shouldn't be counted as it is.
Thank you for your support.

I respectfully enjoyed reading this. You have lived and seen a whole other way of life than what I know of. I can't even think of how to respond, thanks.

Thank you.
Your respond is wonderful.
Thank you again.

Very poetic, very genuine, very insightful. Good job!

Thank you.
You are great.

Peter, my dear, wonderful, and inspiring friend, you had me in tears from the moment I started to read. The thoughts of so many lives had been lost, families torn apart, this gut wrenching sadness emotion came over me. Maybe, just maybe one day there will be no more war, no more suffering, no more shame or guilt for our forefathers. As long as there is greed and someone wanted to have power over others, this will never come to past. Until we as Earth come together and see nothing but humanity and love for our brothers and sisters, this World will continue to die. hugs+smiles***

Very true.
Thank you for beautiful comment my friend.
Sorry for making you sad.
I am glad about hugs and smiles in the end.
I think this should be the end of every story - hugs+smiles.

It's was fine for a few shed tears. I think so many of us know someone that has fought or is fighting in some type of war. This time last year my brother was someone for months. He couldn't tell us where he was and for a two months we had no contact what so ever. It just took me to place. But he is safe for now. We have been blessed with some many family members going somewhere to fight but have made it home. I'm not saying back in one piece but at least they are here. So I will end with my hugs+ smiles***

All the best for you brother. I am happy that he is safe. I wish he will be all the time.
Thank you for you positive attitude.

Thank you, Peter. My brother plans on being in the military until retirement. A few other family members are doing the same. I have to be positive. Positive thinking and being optimistic is more greater and brings this peace and fullness of joy. This and doing a lot of mediation. lol hugs+smiles***

1 More Response

Very insightful and inspiring! You have a gift with words.

Thank you so much.
Pleasure to know you.
I hope book is going well.

VERY thought provoking post. Well spoken, my friend!

Thank you.
You are great my friend.

your welcome. Feeling expressed very well.

He's a pretty good writer isn't he, Sweetie? :-)
I also commented, here. Go see it...;-)

I can't express myself as elegant as the I will say......this comes from your heart and my heart feels yours....Tears streaming down my face....
A beautiful and heartfelt tribute, moving, so haunting.

Imagine peace, no more suffering anywhere in this world; no wars.....only love, respect and helping our fellow man/woman/child....
Thank you for opening my eyes and my mind..
Hugs, my friend....

It couldn't be said better.
Yes. That would be great.
I hope it will happen.
Thank you.

Excellent tribute . Heart felt .

Thank you.
You are great.

you are great ..not me
you write and we read
you describe and we feel

wow, it brought tears to my eyes , beautiful , what a fitting tribute to all our troops everywhere,

thamk you peter xx

I am glad that you like it.

i just love it !!

And this made my day.
Thank you.

eye for an eye makes whole world blind.....

Happily there are many other ways.

This post is a campaign for "world-peace" Peter..

I wish It could bring peace for all.
Thank you.

Mostly to tears.
Thanks for this post.

You are so sensitive.
I love it. You have a golden heart.

Most moving. Thank you for this piece. It shows remarkable compassion, wisdom and lack of animosity.( Marian Rejewski, Henryk Zygalski, and Jerzy Rozycki are the Polish mathamaticians concerned with Enigma which was first cracked in 1932, but subsequently underwent various changes requiring re- cracking )

Yes. We did it.
Thank you my friend.

Wow! Moving...Fitting tribute.

My best to you.

Thank you

4 thumbs up and more ^ ^


WHEW! What a complex story. And it makes you think....
One of the longest I've read for a while, too....

Thank you so much.
I am glad you make it.

Thank you! Keep writing thought- provoking stories, my friend! :-)

Thank's Peter i'm a morther of a young verteran he was18 yrs old when he frist went to Iraq and was the begining of the war .. The hardiest two yrs.. of my life >> And after seven long yrs. of my son being in the army he finally made in home safely>>> Thank's to all the VERTERIANS >> Beautiful Tribute>>

I am glad he is back and safe. Great man. 18 years old. Wow. So young and so brave. I am sure our future is secure in hands of people like your son.
Thank you.

Thank you Peter !! Yes my son is a very brave young man along with so many other .. Some day i will tell you why he went in the Army so young >>

Sure. I can't wait. I think I can sense the story.

Soon my friend soon >>Thank's>>

1 More Response

Very beautiful tribute and gives us a lot to think about too. Thanks for the share and for your words to think about. My Father was a WWII veteran so these stories always touch my heart. Hugs to you my friend.

Thank you for hugs and your beautiful comment my friend.
God bless you.

beautiful tribute...thanks very well written.

Thank you.
You are very kind.

nice story:) thank u....

I salute u, those who sacrifice their lives for us. And those ordinary individual who continue shows their love and kindness to bring peace.

Thank you.

thank you for sharing this .

My pleasure.

Thank you. As the wife of a veteran of Operation Iraqi Freedom I despise war as well but know there won't be peace in this world until Jesus comes.

I hope it will happen soon.
Thank you for your family sacrifice.

I like to say thanks too vetrains. They should be thanked every day.

No doubt in my mind.

Veteran's Day - thank you for the tribute to everyone who has served ... In any country for whatever idealology, the sacrifice is as heroic.

Yes. I am sure mother.

Incredible, heart touching story!!! And that coming from an American!!

Yes. I am American too.
My grandfather was born in New Britain - Connecticut.
Thank you.

Oh I see u have the picture u see the red flower? That's what we wear on remembrance day


Great story I like it. You're really talented. And true war is something that a lot of people are against. But let's face it if it weren't for war and loss of life the world might be over populated. Don't u think? Have a great remembrance day. Back home in Guyana we wear these red poppies in remembrance of all those who died in the war. I don't see them having those here in USA..

There is a room for everybody.
Love doesn't make a difference like sun it shine for everyone.
Americans they remember I am sure.
Thank you.

Thats good to know. Thanks guys.

My heart goes to all who have lost something to war (your heart, your home, your peace or life)

Thank you.

everybody wants peace and nobody is desiring the war state and those who live in the highest castles around, see us as small chess stones to play with and assert their domination over it all! What to say? They make of evrything a convict: religeon, science researches, economics, education and, races cultures.. everything everybody but themselves! They must keep the strongest to keep playing chess! On the acount of everything...

Peace for all.

I hate war.I was born in a country where there is war; In Lebanon; there's a war between Syria, and Israel. you never know when a war is going to break out.

My Peace come to you.

thank you :-)

Very good. I like it.

I am glad.
Thank you.