Already Falling?

I sat there, outside of the video room, just watching. Watching her with another girl. They weren't necessarily doing anything, just watching a show, but the flames of jealousy were already licking around in my heart. I had felt replaced, despite the fact I only met her a couple of hours ago, but I felt like it nonetheless. Tears streaked down my rosy cheeks and multiple people came by and asked if I was okay, and I replied with cracked "I'm fine". They all knew I wasn't. I knew I wasn't. After all, I felt really close to her already, like I had known her my whole life. And I cared for her so immensely already. I didn't want to lose her after just getting her as a friend. I didn't want to lose the chance of maybe having more with her when we got to know each other better and got closer.

They soon left the video room and spotted me, and I had stopped crying by then. After all, I didn't want her to see me the way I was. Ask what was wrong. I couldn't have told her why even if I wanted to, so needless to say I was relieved she didn't ask. We then walked around the hotel for a bit, as the convention was filling with more and more people. She and her friend were holding hands. I glared at the intertwined fingers, as if I could tear their hands apart just by staring at them. We soon got outside, and that's when the tears started spilling again. Did she even know what she was doing to me? I highly doubted it. They turned around for her to talk to me when she noticed.

"What's wrong?" she asked, and my heart stopped. No, I couldn't tell her the real reason why, and as much as I didn't want to, I had to lie. So I did.

"I-I don't know," I sniffled before releasing a choked sob. She and her friend frowned and she walked up to me before embracing me, and I sobbed harder. Gosh, I wish that embrace lasted forever. But it didn't. I kept telling her I didn't know why I was crying, that I wanted to stop but gosh I just /couldn't/, and my heart wrenched. If only she would-if only she /could/-understand how conflicted I was. I soon calmed and we slowly went back to normal. She even held my hand once after we went back inside, and that made me go onto cloud nine. I felt okay again.

Ever since then, I've liked her so much. I won't call it love, no, not just yet. I do have strong feelings for her, though. And I even made a tiny confession once on facebook chat. Just a small "Ireallylikeyou,k.". But all she did was go, "Really? 0.o" and continued like nothing happened. That hurt. But I'm determined. I really want her to know how strongly I feel. Because despite the fact we haven't even known each other a week, I care for her already. She's just the best right now. I'm shocked I'm falling so quickly, but I am. And strangely, I'm okay with it.
DontLetMeFall DontLetMeFall
13-15, F
Dec 12, 2012