What Is Missing Today?

I agree and disagree at the same time. If the opening of doors and stuff is done because it is expected and the girl feels entitled then yes I agree but it is the girl that needs to change that behavior. It needs to be a balance and there are other ways for that to occur.

I want a guy to be confident in himself and to put his best gentlemanly self forward because that's part of who he is and that guy wants me to know that I am special to him.

If those doors are only being opened because you feel obligated or are trying to be someone you aren't then it just comes off as desperate and the special connection is not made. It may take 10or 20 or more matches before the right two people come together to inspire that greatness in each other.

Agree that Guys should be confident and carry themselves well by holding their stature and dignity. But by trying to make a woman feel that she is special, he puts on an special act, by which unknowingly he also stoops down. A man is one who makes the woman falls and not the one who falls for a woman.

Hope you would agree, that Girls are more cohesive and share the way how each other's guy impressed them and this news spreads and makes a newcomer to also try the stunt, without any attachment to it.... and over time this has only lead to the fall of the male dignity and contributed to a kind of female haughtiness.

I agree that change needs to be made on both sides. For a long time and still in many places women are not even remotely treated equally. Here in the U.S. women wanted to break free of that as they should but it went to the entire other extreme. Political correctness is beyond ridiculous right now. Everyone needs to lighten up start seeing each other as equal LOVING BEINGS regardless of who or how they love as long as no else is being hurt by it. and I don't mean the social consequences a parent might imagine they have because a child doesn't fit social norms. I mean true mental or physical pain and abuse. When we as a species grow to the level that we realize love and happiness are most important compared with control and power then we will find the balance again between loving people.

Absolutely agree. Situation calls for a new consensus for the benefit of future, and its time we need to get rid of many old traditions and traits. Governments & Politicians are just not bothered as they know, that people are busy with love, sex, marriage and divorce .. and Money is the new opium which they dump time to time , people don't come up n question them.

Unless we stop the gender war and start understanding and loving one another, things are set to only get worse..

Agree.. guys should respect girls. but first the girls should give them something to respect. we cannot stereotype that all boys think about is sex. i mean my brothers are awkward and probably dont even know what it entails. anyways, some guys have... urges. but dont do anything about it. sometimes its the chicks who are all "loose" and keen to get in with someone. using someone for meaningless pleasure is disrespectful to both the initiator and the recipient. i reckon, only become that close to someone you are planning on marrying or are in a proper relationship with. make it special. just you guys. its supposed to be a beautiful thing and doing it to some random makes it seem ugly and atrocious.
Also oI am a christian, but also believe in accepting people for who they are no matter what sexual orientation. i mean the bible does say its not good, but it also says "Love thy neighbour." love EVERYONE. that is what christians do.

And what about th 97 % of women that don't dress up like that or that dont even bother with the bar. Or how about the huge numbe of pervs on here. Yes there are some good ones that I talk to all the time. But they are the exception not the rule.

You make a very good point. Meeting women in the supermarket, on the street or in your friends circle is completely different... but this is, in my experience, typically not what either men or women do when they are actively looking for a relationship.

Sorry, as you can probably tell, I am a little bitter from a lifetime of rejection and being treated like some sex object. Which is kind of the stereotype for women and not men....

I am sure there are a lot of pervs on here too - sorry about that. :(

The best relationship you will have is the one you aren't looking for because when you are looking you are basically looking for a mate and scanning the crowd. Who is going to notice the girl standing in the corner in jeans, tshirt, and sneakers because her friends dragged her out somewhere she hates going when the girl in the mini and heels is front and center at the bar.

Actually this is exactly the girl I go for. I always try to open with normal conversation as if they were just a guy. and my hope is to find a friend because I hear that is a good way to meet even more women in the right way. If it turns into more that's great... :)

It rarely works out for me. :/

Aww. Having never met you and not knowing you at all why I can't even begin to guess why you are having such bad luck with them.

Its fine. I'm just not pretty enough (I have a beer belly). I have no problem helping out my buddies who are medium-to-attractive looking and enough girls have said outright that its the beer belly.

Don't worry about it. I just hope you manage to find someone who doesn't just want to f * ck you and throw you away. I know how that can hurt. :/

I am married for 6 years and together for 10 with my wife. I met her at a party at a mutual friends house

Amen. i admit id probs be the skinny jeans, vans type. bars are not the best places to meet guys anyways. they're either drunk or are going to be.

As a matter of fact yes I am. I have two children and my wife is in very poor health so sex doesn't happen very often. If we are both very lucky she is up for once or twice a month. When we were dating and before her health declined we were having sex consistently 3-4 times a week.

And we will be together 10 years this Jan.

Congrats!! Xoxo

YEEEEW! *claps*

I know there are some nice guys out there. Those are the ones that fall in the worth it catergory

There are a lot of nice guys out there. They're usually the ones rejected because the woman favors the bad boys. These are the very same bad boy who will say and do anything to bed a woman.

Agreed. It seems to me that most men are just focused on the sex. Even the ones here that are complaining about treating them well but not getting any so why bother. It's because its obvious what you want and you are only doing it to get laid. If that's all you want get an escort. I want to be enjoyed. I want you to want to be around me. I want being around me to bring a genuine smile to your face. My personality will do that for you guys not sex. When i feel like that special person to you then sex becomes the next level of enjoying each other. Our focus is still on each other because you are doing everything you can to bring me pleasure while I do the same for you. It isn't me laying there while you get off in two minutes hoping I get something out of it other than sticky.

You know-Even if all you want is SEX -Treat the women well& you will get lots of sex-Some guys treat thier male friends better than they do women!

Good point as well.

I don't claim this story to be true for everyone. What is your experience?

that sometimes I just wanted sex. That I married a man who was my friend for seven years and has shown me nothing but loyalty. that I have known men to be loyal in a relationship and the woman cheat. I have known man ho's too, but they are typically obvious if you get to know the person first. Sometimes sex for me was just down right fun, and I liked 'playing the game' so to speak, listening to the right words, etc.

Fine and dandy for you but you won't get into my panties that way.

I don't disagree with you; I am just saying that most "good guys" wont be able to truly love a woman after they are 25ish. You can only get beat down so many times, cheated on so many times, or passed over so many times before you become jaded and resentful.

It's a fine line between that great confident guy and the one that is trying too hard and looks pathetic and desperate. One being a nice guy is just part of his basic character and the other appears to be doing the same thing but doesn't pull it off due to lack of confidence.

Do you want to talk confidence or respect? They are two different subject. I am saying that you should not expect a man who has been respectful and had not results to stay respectful.

Then he is only thinking about getting laid and will henceforth get kicked to the curb. Human pair bonding is much more complicated than simply showing respect

Cause and effect; men and women have meaningless sex and diminishes the "pair bonding". It also causes you to desire that which helped form the original bonding. Drunken parties lead to a desire for drunken sex - even when you mentally don't want it, your body does. Early "thrill" sex leads to an unsatisfying emotional, loving sex life later in life. Your pair bonding is only a causality of the lack of demanding respect.

Can't say that I agree with that at all.

Ok, but you're not disagreeing with me, here is just the tip of what science is now proving what most religions preach:

http://m.cbn.com/cbnnews/healthscience/2010/March/Sexually-Indulgent-Now-Marriage-Ruined-Later/

http://salvomag.com/blog/2009/03/chemical-bonding/

When i was younger and totally innocent, I was in a relationship where I did everything for my girl and she used to walk all over me. One day I wen't out with friends and got totally smashed and was unable to keep our date (first time in three years). the next morning when i got to work, I found all my belongings had been delivered to my work which was a couple of blocks from her house. An hour later she brought the last of my stuff and announced that it's over. Having a huge hangover I just took the box from her and walked away. by that afternoon she was calling me and leaving messages that i should call her back, I didn't care as my head was ponding. that afternoon she came back and begged me to come back. this carried on for 3days, till i finally gave in, But i never did anything for her like before. then a strange thing occured, she started running around doing everything for me. sometimes being a bastard works, other times it won't. anyway I feel you're both right

just remember being jaded and resentfull works both ways

What happened to you in kind of my point. Good men get broken down. I hope my daughter is able to find a good man, and that we have taught her to be strong enough not to settle for less than she deserves.

Religion to me is just another way to control the masses. The only preacher I wouls even begin to listen to is Joel osteen because he is all about love, respect, and being your best. Plus I dont trust main stream media to report anything worthwhile or true. They only report whatever the person paying the bill says t report.

I am learning it is fine line between treating somewell well and with respect and being a lap dog. (please excuse my description. It is meant in a general sense). One doesn't have to do everything for her to treat her well. She needs to be worth it too. For example when you take her out on a date open the doors for her, compliment her, etc. Then look for the cues because I would be really surprised if she didn't want tht kiss the end of the night. Whi knows maybe she will want more maybe she wont. But either way make her pick up her own dry cleaning the next day. If you are out and she is cold loan her your jacket for the night but dont keep a spare one in the car or buy her a me one the next day. You know what I mean. She needs to earn you too. I just wasnt addressing that aspect of the problem in this story. Though i probably should have.

"Nice" doesn't mean "I'm respectful toward you, so you HAVE to like me now!" Nice means you are respectful to a person because you respect him or her. Insisting that someone accept your sexual advances just because you treat a person with respect is absurd and incredibly assholey, certainly not "nice". Maybe that's why you're alone-- You expect a woman to fall in love with you simply because you're treating her with minimal respect.

The feminine priciple has long been lost and suppressed.

There is a certain 'male dominated' religion (I won't name it for sake of offending many readers) in this world who set about removing the Pagan reverence of women and replacing it with an organized religion that repressed women, made them second class citizens and kept them pregnant. We have hundreds of years of damage to undo, but how I do not know.

It started out like this 4500 years ago when society started becoming gery patriarchal. Women are just as much a spark of our Divine Creators the God and Goddess and should be treated as such. There are fundamentally different ways that women think and feel from men. We have to embrace this difference instead of guys getting pissy with women because we don't want to give it to them because they are acting like cavemen.

our stories are similar. My husband and I were friends for seven years before we got together. I agree with your perspectives that you mentioned on this topic

Yeah I am sure they are but they still know how and take the time to make sure she feels really special. And i would imagine those same guys get laid a hell of a lot more than those that dont bother. Even a girl that is going to have a one night stand with you doesn't want to feel like a piece of meat you are dropping your load into. She still wants to know you aren't going to be a regret at the end of the night.

I'm not naiive, and sometimes, as a female, I like to have sex just as much as a male would. We have instincts too ya know. I will 'play the game' as long as the male is willing. If he can say the right words, and smile at me a certain way, if he offers me a glass of wine and can make me laugh, if when he touches me it is gentle and just right...ok, so who looses in this scenario?? lol. I don't agree that women have more emotions than men, or that sex is meaningless to him. I had male friends for years with or without sex. I do agree a girl doesn't want to regret it at the end of the night cuz the guy is a sociopath, but generally speaking, if a man is connected in the kiss, then connected in bed, then it can all be worthwhile. I'm married now, but I remember the single times. There were lots of good times, but I eventually settled for something more secure with someone looking for the same.

I want to like that comment but there's no button! I'll have to state my agreement instead :P

Yeah there are woman like that. But in most cases (at least my experience that if a girl is so bored at home that she is going to quietly screw around than either the husband isnt taking care of her properly anymore because why should he work for it anymore now that they are married and he himself is bored as well, or they were not as a good a match as they first thought.

This made me laugh. Although...

Nope, not gonna say it.