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Tantric Love:101 Nights Of Ecstasy

Making love, according to Tantric instructions means to discover each other in a more meaningful way. Doing it teaches how to cross the boundary of body and reach the Universe.

As per my knowledge, Tantra are teachings which comes from the text called Tantra. Scholars believed that they originated in India and have at least a minimum of 1500 years of tradition.

There are a few definitions of Tantra. However, we can say that whatever is written in Tantric texts include a bit of theory about Cretin ritual and a lot about the ritual which is still theoretical. Just to be sure that it is all true and in working, you would need a qualified teacher to practice and experience it. There are not many teachers out there. Plus there is a thin line between a real teacher who would like to teach you and an egotistic liar who would love to use you as just a sex object.

Next, in my opinion, for the foundation for total success with Tantric love is ~ the necessity that partners should be truly and sincerely in love. I am not sure how could you be erotically in love with your teacher who knows Tantra. Possible but almost impossible. In my universe, being in love means one man one woman relationship. It is simple and I hope it does not require further explanation. It doesn’t mean I am a stranger to all existing varied behavior. I can say many times - I love you… and everything (I am referring to cyber world). It is sincere and comes from free will. Nevertheless, we all know what kind of love it is. It is that kind of love which can be expressed and explored just by writing and reading. Still good, I believe. Better love than hatred. I love it.

Sometime ago, I got to the conclusion that I will know for sure that I am in love when I won’t see world beyond this person. Just her, only her and nothing more or less. I am still searching.

What I am trying to say is – it will be very difficult for you to apply Tantric love and get expected results. Still, there is a lot of wisdom and extraordinary beauty in these teachings. It is for sure good to know about it and try to use it as much as possible in your life. I am going to talk about behaviors which are clear, safe and seem to be the perfect way to improve not only your erotic life but life of partners as well.

My understanding of Tantra is:
It is a ritual. It is a practice which includes using body, speech and mind. It is a practice of transformation. In case of Tantric love, we are transforming body experiences into deep spiritual, mental ones. Through sexual intercourse. we can go beyond body, achieve the state of bliss and learn how to maintain it forever. The goal here is to achieve total enlightenment - the State which is not associated with ******. We are not looking for ****** at all. However, as I heard that enlightenment is more powerful than 1000 ******* together and last forever.
On lower level Tantric love can be used as a method of purification of all the problems between lovers, especially deep blocks and dislikes hidden deeply in the unconsciousness. Dialogues between lovers which is promoted in Tantric love gives amazing opportunities for discovering each other and learn more about you. It is the dialogue which is conducted through speech, touch and all behaviours. It is like romantic, erotic dance which takes every second of being together and raises it to the highest possible level.

The magic of Tantric love is based on breathing, visualizing, mantras ( spells or loving words), touches, movements of body, surrounding and creating of right atmosphere ( music, smells, colors, making mandalas, candles or lights, the way we dress before making love, fabric and softness of beddings etc). The goal is to create the highest state of sexual arousal in body and learn how to transform it into arousal of mind and state of bliss.

Everything sounds fantastic. However, I found one weakness here. There is not enough explanation or instructions about where to go or what to do in order to learn how to transform arousal of body into arousal of mind. In whatever I read or I heard or was offered to do was not much a bliss. However, ****** was gorgeous and I had a lot of fun. They are instructions like - do this and that but it didn’t work for me so far. Energy is there for sure. I can say that I am the master in generating one. There is tons of cosmic energy always between me and the person of my affection. Energy flows like lightning or thunderstorm. However, when I am trying to channel it, focus on it, control it and bring up to my mind and achieve bliss, I hear – *** for me, I need you now. And this is basically the end of me and being Buddha. Still, Great ~ I can’t complain.

Honestly, what I found in Tantric love teachings can be found in good western books about healthy and proper sexual life.
OK. Enough drama. Lets bring some Tantric love based theory.

First We are not having sex. We are making love.
Having sex is very technical in my opinion and come with arousal which is released in ****** and doesn’t provide any bliss at all. There is nothing wrong with it. It just has not much to do with Tantric love.

Making love means being with each other fully, spiritually, completely and as one in search for liberation.

Second – We have to prepare the space where we are planning to spend our quality time. Love making has to start from there.

We can clean our place together. Bring a lot of fresh air in. Chose and buy flowers that we both like. Decide mutually what kind of smells we both would love to have during making love. What kind of music and lightning would be the most suitable. Organize our bedroom with colours and best possible energy flow.

We are doing all of this together knowing that the final outcome would be making love in full physical contact. We should be very excited about that. All should come with lots of kisses and hugs and sweet touches and wonderful sincere words about how we love each other and need and want each other.

For sure, it will take a lot of decision making and conversations about finding right and the most comfortable solutions. We can learn a lot from that and how to come up with the best answer for both in a loving atmosphere. How to say – No and look for another solution. Say No in such a way that your partner wouldn’t feel hurt or rejected with his or her idea and would love you even more. Say that way that your idea would be his or her idea and he or she would completely agree and love it. 
Say like that for example: I would prefer maybe this way.  What do you think? I am crazy about you. I can’t wait to make love to you.

All disappointments take energy out of the system and takes you down and you don’t want that if you are in a loving relationship. Keeping energy up between lovers all the time and caring about it is one the of best way of showing love and affection. You can feel love and care that way. Your heart is truly touched by that and you wish giving the same.

It becomes a constant circle of love and love giving and love making. I believe that is what it means to be together. Constantly recharge each other and inspire and being in loving paradise of ours. Dragging each other down and hurting each other or all ego power struggles concerning who is better or smarter etc. doesn’t make sense to me. It doesn’t sound like an appropriate prospect for being together.

Remember each time when you have different opinion or wish to go the other way, Just say it differently. Don’t use the same scheme all the time. It can be treated as controlling and actually nobody likes that. Next time you can say – Wow! I love it. Let’s buy tulips. Kiss me baby. I am yours. My mom always loved roses. We had them at home all the time. I want to be your rose. Can you imagine my petals now? If she would say like that, the answer can be only one. Let’s buy all the roses in this store and take them home.

The secret of successful love making in the sense of intercourse is a combination of what happens before and at the most after it. We should know that we are making love all the time and all counts. We can’t be rude, disconnected, and selfish during the day or night and expect to have wonderful and fulfilling sex life or search for bliss. Plus finding the way to each other and pleasing each other all the time and in new ways even if we want do things differently can be a wonderful thing.

If for any reason, energy will drop suddenly we should be able to bring it up with our loving attitude, kind words, kiss, ensuring touch, respectful comment. We should know we are both in this boat. We are experiencing similarly and compassion towards our sufferings should lift us up. Picture it like that – our child fell down on the floor and is crying now and run towards us in need of a hug. We are terrified by what happened and we love this child so much now and we are ready to give him any comfort.

When all is ready and all puzzles of surrounding are in, we can cook something together or eat outside. Something light and energetic and healthy. We can feed each other. I found putting food in the mouth of loved one or her fingers on my lips or gently inside my mouth to be very erotic.

Taking shower together and washing each other or slowly undressing, especially bra or stockings is pretty explosive for me. During all these activities we should be aroused and stimulate each other by kind words and all kinds of behaviour. All basically comes with intimacy and closeness till the point of break. However, we should control our desire and just learn to be on edge - wet, soaked or hard but in total mastery of energy which flows in our body. We should focus and visualize all energy going up to the crown chakra and down. We should make connection between what we think and visualize and energy of arousal and be able to control the flow which is not easy.

However, practice makes a master and we should try that. For sure, being aroused and not having any ****** will teach us how to maintain arousal for long time. Doing it regularly and quickly would help us find out that we have some control over our ******. We would be able to trigger it or just avoid it keeping energy in the circle and in search for the bliss.

There are some exercises we can conduct in order to control our arousal state and not to blow it into ****** but bring all energy up to our head, achieve the state of bliss and remain in it.

 In case of women, she should develop muscles inside her vagina. There are cretin objects which she can insert inside vagina like balls etc. Next she should try to squeeze them by inner muscles. She should practice it daily around 30 minutes. This way she should able to tighten and untighten her vagina during intercourse. She should be able enough to stop or control or extend her ******.

For men, it is ************. However, he should stop and refocus his thoughts before ***********. This way he should be able to control his ****** as well.
In Tantric love it is advised to learn about the body map of our partner. We have to discover all erogenous places which by touch can turn on our lover. The best is to interview him or her kindly and lovingly about what he or she likes or dislikes. It is said that most successful method is to ask our loved one to ********** for us many times and see how she or he is doing it.

Next, we have to try to do it the same for her or him, asking how she or he feels and if you are achieving the right results. Your partner should guide your hands, fingers, lips, foot, hair, penis or vagina and teach you how you should do it properly and in the best way. Especially, we should focus on breasts, nipples, neck, arms, ears, vagina - Paradise of Pleasure, ******* - if needed, chest or penis.  During the process of studding, we should avoid ****** and understand how to keep arousal forever on the edge. As well, we should start vitalizing process and imagine energy gathering around our genitals or heart or crown chakra of our head.

 When you are build with knowledge and we are masters of generating sexual energy quickly in each other, we should drop all the notes and be spontaneous. The most important is to watch face and eyes of our partner and see how she or he is responding. If you see any problem, you should stop and ask kindly about how he or she likes it and looks for some directions. Be always in charge and confident and ready to transform and look for other solutions.

The best attitude here can be expressed like this - My pleasure arouses from the pleasure of my partner. His or her happiness makes me happy and that is what I am looking for.

Before making love in Tantric tradition, it is good to conduct purification process. We have to talk about all that happened and was not good between us. I can imagine that can be tough and unpleasant which can really put us down. In order to avoid loss of energy and suffering during washing our dirty clothes, we are transforming ourselves in temple and holy beings.

She becomes Goddess and he becomes Master - the one who cares. We bow to each other and bring all the respect towards us. Next we are imagining opening ourselves to each other. Opening our hearts. We are visualizing all energy to be gathering around our heart chakra and next we imagine connecting our heart chakras with each other. We are one now and nothing can divide us. We feel and see the same. There is no more secret and nothing needs to be hidden. We become somebody else and we can talk now about our problems as problems of other people and we are looking for solutions and ways to avoid any misunderstandings in the future. We are happy and confident than we can trust and share anything. In the end, we imagine that all the problems and all what we talk about dissolving in space and all our energy channels are purified. We bow to each other again in full respect for such an extraordinary exchange.

We are in our bedroom. The space looks amazing. All is clean. Fresh and new. Smells are intoxicating. Music which we love the most is on. Candles and lights - all is perfect. All is as we would wish for. We are filled with energy and desire. We love each other so much. We understand each other fully. We are like mirror reflection. Different yet the same. There is nothing between us what can make as apart. Energy flow is wonderful. We feel like reborn again. We will make love like it would be for the first time. At the same time it will be like we were doing it over and over before. We are one. We were, all the time, and now we will conclude that in the most beautiful act. Act of love making when we will experience universe in us and merge together. Only we can do it. We need each other. We are ready to give all what we got.
Final instructions for Tantric love are:

Before making love we should open ourselves to each other and accept fully.

We are visualizing our chakras open, especially heart chakra and connecting with each other and energy flows endlessly between us. We are supported by surrounding and positive experiences during all the process of preparation.

We are pleasuring ourselves keeping an eye contact whenever we can. We talk in a lovely manner casting love spells and admiring how beautiful we are. We can imagine and compare beauty of our lover's body to the phenomena of nature and can express that in words. Like breasts to the most incredible mountains, nipples to most delicious fruit, wetness to extraordinary nectar, smile to the sun shine etc. We are holy. We are temples of love and the Universe supports us.

We are visualizing energy of every touch and word and pleasant experience going up and this should put us in the state of bliss.

During making love we should close our energy circles and rest peacefully in our minds. When this happens, our body should lose grip over us and as one we should experience universe beyond body. ****** won’t be important at that point.





It was written based on the book: The Tantric pillow book 101 nights of sexual ecstasy by Cassandra Lorius.

In the end of the week I am going to post literal vision of love making in the Tantric way.
Bolek Bolek 41-45, M 53 Responses Jan 10, 2013

Your Response


Tantric or not, your way or her's , bothways is a good way :) but legal is better

Legal - hm...I never heard about this position.
How it goes?

it goes with a married couple :)

Yes I can agree with that in some extend.
How about people like Eskimos or people who are living in tribes or nomads or people like native people of Amazon or even phenomena of harem in other traditions. Do you think that people there who are not necessarily recognizing tradition of marriage have a chance to experience great love ?

Love is always great..those with legal cover find it blessed

1 More Response

beautiful loving sex is part of the divine..thank you for this!

Totally agree.

thank u for this wonderful post bolek...u are a credit 2 humanity and love my brother")

I always share with pleasure.
Thank you for you fantastic words.

its beautifu but rem
ains what it is to us a mistery.

I hope all can be discovered.

i have no idea what i wrote ..... Bottom line its brilliant

So true, my friend. Involves all the wonderful facets of a relationship. Well spoken.

So true, my friend. Involves all the wonderful facets of a relationship. Well spoken.

I said that from the bottom of my heart.
Thank you.
Thank you.

If only more people could manage to see things like this- real love- not just "sex" love! :-)


How are you ?

I like how you paint a serene picture of how beautiful the Tantric love making can be when done with the best of intentions...not for your pleasure alone but the two of you. Mmm bliss.

Yea I could be wonderful when done together.

very well put together. Thanks for sharing.

My pleasure.
Thank you for reading me.

Nicely Put. and definitely something I would like to enjoy and experience. to me there is nothing more fulfulling for a couple to not only connect spiritually, physically but also ...much more.... there is so much more... and what i was able to understand is that the little and simple things are those that count a just the expressions, the ambience you are in..etc.

Anything can make relationship extraordinary if there is a wish on both sides.

Very nicely done, Peter. Thank you for your sharing and enlightenment!!

I would be just mare shadow of the human if I would not know you.
Thank you for being my friend from the first days when I arrived here.

I bought a book on tantric sex, I did not read it entirely, but the book emphasized the importance of breathing which you mention nothing of. I think breathing is key. I've engaged myself in the heavy breathing and it does make love making (having sex) more enjoyable. I am very interested in tantric sex, my partner however, has no interest. When I suggested to him would you want to explore tantric sex with me, his answer was "sure" - it didn't come across as an honest answer to me therefore I didn't mention it to him again.

I am so sorry to learn about your partner.
I did mention about breathing but I agree that is was too little. You are right it is very important part of the practice. Maybe I will write later just about about breathing and synchronicity. Thank you for pointing this out.

I mention about breathing in this chapter:
"The magic of Tantric love is based on breathing, visualizing, mantras ( spells or loving words), touches, movements of body, surrounding and creating of right atmosphere ( music, smells, colors, making mandalas, candles or lights, the way we dress before making love, fabric and softness of beddings etc)."

Thanks a lot for sharing... I'm definitely going to apply some of these tactics!

I would be more then happy if you would do that.
Thank you for reading me.

Wow thank you for sharing!


Beautiful Dear

Just when you shine I am in paradise.

beautiful! I have one small addition, i believe that everything we feel and experience is visualized and experienced in mind! So, a small insult or belittling of the partner can stay stuck in the mind and make all great efforts in a try to mend it as useless! Better not to break things than to try to glue it! In the opposite, when mutual love and respect and appreciation is found in a relationship -must be nurtured as on a daily basis even by a smile or a gentle word or a loving caring eyelook- makes life wonderful, and everything goes great in every moment of life putting them together! For me personally? I cant let my man touch me if we werent in a wonderful loving and so respectful relationship! Simply i cant!

I am totally with you.
Thank you for your thoughts.

We thank you for sharing....

My pleasure.
Thank you so much.

I would love to try, but unsure my partner has the self control. Part of what makes our sex so hot is that he gets incredibly excited as soon as I begin to undress

I here you.
I can imagine that.
For sure it is extremely tough to control anything when you are getting naked.

I enjoyed reading this. It's inspiring and interesting on many levels. I wonder how different our love relationships could be if both people wanted to take the time and energy to put at least some of this into time spent together. If we say we are monogamous with this person, why not make it a mind-blowing experience?

As always Peter, your writing is exceptional. Thank you for sharing!!

I agree with you totally. We should at the moment when we decided to be together and after we say I love you make it as most wonderful experience ever. Otherwise what the point. Thank you so much for you kind words.

It is like romantic, erotic dance which takes every second of being together and raises it to the highest possible level. I love this and how you stated it. Such beautiful writing, and the way you explain and express it all, wow! Amazing! Thank you from the bottom of my heart.

I did my best to make you feel proud about your amazing nature.

You make me smile darling. So sweet you are! You have such a way with words that bathe a person. Connecting words to the soul. :)

Yes - your soul feels like paradise.
Are you an Angel?

Very true and agreed totally!!..Loved what you wrote ....
"Accept me as I am and appreciate what I me for who I am and not what you want me to be" till the day I find one that will share the same feelings - two souls entwined into one and find the true bliss of Tantric Love..:)

I wish you that from the bottom of my heart.
Your beauty for sure will attract one day wonderful lover.

wonderful writting us usual,i enjoy reading it, even i have red many books about tantra.

That is very interesting.
I am always open and love to learn more.
If you would like to share with me your knowledge and understanding I would be delighted. Thank you.

You as ever have took through a journey of life, how wonderful love them always xx

Such a lovely touch.
Thank you.