I have thought a million times before writing this, not because I was wondering whether if it would be ethical or not to write a personal story out like that to the public, but because I simply couldn't find the right words by which I can describe even a tiny part of how I feel about it. It is the story of a guy and a girl which I happen to know quite well, so then I just decided to tell the story, the facts which took place, regardless of how I feel..
Like any ordinary classical love story; guy meets girl, they fall in love, and they get "together". The thing is, the couple in my story started really young, at the age of thirteen. But let me first describe what those two are like. Two completely different characters; she's this naïve young girl wither her cute pony tail. She always takes everyone for what they appear to be, or how they act like, without making any assumptions that people might sometimes be manipulative or double-faced, in fact she just took them so purely. She has passion for two things; swimming and arts, and if there's one thing that this girl is known for then its her smile and cheerful spirit. As for him, well, he was that very handsome athletic guy, very good-looking, definitely smart at what he studies but not that smart when it comes to matters of the heart, yet, he captured hers from the first sight.
As I said, it first happened when they were thirteen. When they first met, she felt like she's never had before, she couldn't really explain what is it that's new but the only thing she was certain of was that she wanted to know more about this mysterious man. They become friends, but that doesn't last for long as after some months he just goes and tells her, "I think I'm falling in love with you.." Boy oh boy, the words her heart was just craving to hear. Her actions and way with him definitely showed that she was so into him, yet she hasn't said it as she wasn't sure of what he is yet, but she has trusted him anyway. Time passes, things happen and eventually they are together, like a couple. Things happen, and she finds out that he wasn't that honest with her all the way, yet she trusts him anyway and believes that the picture she has for him in her mind is just the true picture that one day shall be uncovered in reality.
Two years pass, they graduate from school but we all know that with college comes a new life. By the third year, they break up. Actually, several break ups happened, but she always had the faith that it never ends there. They break up, but eventually she gets back to him as her mind could not possibly see a man but him, and her heart could not bear the idea of anybody else but him. Until a day comes, on her 20th birthday, after six years of being together, and then they realize that they really had to let it go. Let me rephrase that, HE realized that he really had to let it go. There were family problems, obligations that he couldn't possibly meet, or problems that he might have not been responsible enough to handle yet she saw the love of the world in his eyes. Well, I'm trying to make this look good here but let me just rephrase that again; he walked out on her and wasn't willing to fight long or hard enough to have her.. Is this what she really believed deep within her? Not really. All she could see was that guy who loved her so much yet the circumstances were pretty tough for him to handle and that he was being "noble" with her by actually letting her go. As you can see, our heroine here is obviously a huge fan of classical, fantasy, romance stories from the beautiful sixties, while our hero is more of a realistic, pessimistic, feet-on-the-ground kind of person. It happens anyway, on her 20th birthday in the winter of 2007 they do break up, yet they meet for one last time. She loved him so much, she couldn't walk away without taking one last picture for the two of them together, and she did. Taking a photo for the two of you together when you break up? I mean, who does that? And then it was time to leave, and say goodbye, and each of them walked along a different street on their separate ways home. But then she runs back, and calls his name, to have one last hug. Actually, one last "first hug". It was the first time for her to hug him even after years of being together, but she couldn't stand doing anything but that. She hugged him really tight, and he was very surprised that she did, yet he embraced her warmly, and whispered "I'm sorry".. And then she just left without looking into his eyes because she couldn't. Days passed by, they would bump into each other by accident every once in a while, he would still check on her from time to time, but facts are that they are not together. She dreams about him every single night, and for her there is no man but him. She always had faith and great belief that they were meant to be together and that is just temporary, but at times she also lost hope, and felt like there was no way out. She hugged him because she knew that deep within her he will be back.
A whole year has passed, it is the summer of 2008, she is out of the country and the guy and the girl are no longer in touch, until on a day he receives news that she's actually seeing someone else. Uh-oh! He tries to contact her to know whether if this is true, and she just answers that it is. His heart is ripped apart, and all he could have told her at that exact moment that she has moved on way faster than him, in fact he hasn't moved on and even though they were not even talking for a whole year she was always in his heart, but now after he has known that he considers her dead and only past. She takes her moment to realize that maybe she shouldn't be doing this anymore. When he asked her whether if there's someone else in her life or not, she answered yes just to see whether if he still loves her, but of course that wasn't true, all she could think of was him, nobody was ever able to capture her heart but him. She then told him the truth, which she only said to see how he reacted and to get back into touch. He was very happy to know that she hadn't gone to another person, and decided to win her back. They talk to fix matters between them but of course that serious talk had to be postponed until she comes back to home and they meet. A couple of weeks pass by, and its her time to go back and see him. Its been almost a year since they have last met, her heart keeps beating really fast all the way back on the plane. As soon as she lands, the happiness of the world just jumps right into her heart. She goes home to salute her family and relatives, quickly gets dressed and goes to meet him. They decide to meet in a place where they've always met before, it’s the place where they first met. He calls her and tells her that he's waiting there for her, and she's on her way. Let me describe this; she's in a cab going to the place where she first met the love of her life, her first love, and after 7 years she's still going to see the same person at the same place. Her heart beats are racing, and all she keeps getting is nostalgic palpitations. There is nothing no her mind except the very first sight of him; she simply can't wait. She arrives to the place, and he's right there waiting for her. She keeps on looking for him around, her head turning in all directions looking for him. And then her phone rings, she gets it and its him saying "Look right ahead of you". And that's what she did, and there he was. They both stand in their places, not believing that they're actually there once more, together again. Tears start rushing down her eyes while she's still in her place, as he approaches her to wipe away her tears, like he always did. "I miss you", he said. All that she could think of is how much she wanted to hug him and all he could think of is how tight he just wanted to hold her, yet what stopped them is the crowded place and the large number of people around. They then decide to go to their favorite place, the beach. They walk all the way to the sea side, with millions and millions of words on their mind to speak yet they just walk absolutely silent. The happiness of the world is in her eyes that she just walked by him and her eyes couldn't get off his face, she kept on looking at him the whole time without saying a single word. They reach the sea side, he takes her hand and helps her lay down by one of the giant wave blocking things which are right by the water, and he sits next to her. He grabs her hand gently, looks into her eyes and says, "All I could say is that this time I'm marrying you, I swear to God nothing on Earth could stop me from doing it except death, I am never going to let you go again I am never losing you again, and I am never spending a single day in my life without you again. This is my promise to you." Her eyes shine with the biggest smile, how happy his words made her feel is simply indescribable. She then said, "I miss you, I've hated every day without you there next to me. My mind at times wanted to let you go but my heart never allowed it to, not for a single moment. Days without you were harsh and cruel, the only thing that would make me sleep overnight was the picture of you, the hope that we will happen once again." The exact words he wished to hear from her, but even better. He then gently kissed her on the cheek, and they just sat there, observing the beach in each other's arms, and that was just her perfect dream.
Days pass by, and a month later they celebrate their 7th anniversary together, the day was magical. She was the happiest girl on earth and he just felt like the luckiest man alive! A whole year then passes by, and its time for their 8th anniversary, they spend a great day and all they could think of is how beautiful the last year has been, how happy their presence in each other's lives just makes it a much better place and strengthens them to go through anything and everything. Its now November 2009, and its time for her to travel again to visit her family. They meet right before her flight takes off, he hugs her really tight but a feeling of fear steps into her heart. She didn't want to let him go, a big part of her felt like that was the last time she could hug him. There was no explanation for the way she felt because she was only travelling for a couple of weeks, and then she would go back to him anyway. After she travelled, he started acting strange, and then problems happened at his side with his father who rejected the idea of him being with the girl 100%. He didn’t even know the girl, why would he not like his son being with her? The simple answer to that will be that he saw how his son wanted her so bad, and that he's standing against his own father in order to win that girl. But for how long could he keep up with those problems against his dad? She goes back to their city, things between them are really tense, she's feeling very bad about it. Until a day comes, and they have a huge fight, and then he just lets her go after telling her the worst of what she could ever hear. Her heart was shattered, broken into pieces not knowing what to do. She just sat there silently; until news came that her friend who was like a sister to her has passed away. It was tragic. The way it happened was all so tragic. All the girl could say then "I want him." She just needed him more than ever. Despite all the words he told her and that they were not together anymore, he ran back to her as soon as he heard of this. She walks down the street where he is, he wants to comfort her yet his persistent character would show very little of love, or sorrow. She is in a complete mess, her mind not able to absorb what has happened clearly. She asks him if he loves her, he turns away and says that he does love her, yet it can't be, things will never change. It just breaks her heart even more, not understanding which is worse; the loss of a dear person who has died, or the loss of a person who's still alive yet choosing to take the dark route in life? He then held her hand, and told her "I'm sorry.." Words cannot describe how she felt at that moment. Days pass by, he asks about her from time to time, and then her grandmother passes away a month after her friend. Is he there for her? No he is not. Then she decides to travel again to her family, until one day out of nowhere she gets the feeling that he wants to see her, and that he will call her, there is no absolute explanation for this insanity but it really happens, he does call her. She could hear the love of the world in his voice, how worried he was about her could be easily sensed. But that was the last time they ever talked. A month passes by and she gets news that he is getting engaged to another girl whom his dad has chosen for him. The story ends here. She can't understand until now what it is that has really gone wrong. Spare me the description of how she's feeling right now..
I have mentioned that she was best known for her cheerful smile, that smile is now gone.
Like today, but in the year 2005 was the first time they ever went to the movies, and pretty much the last time..
My dear lover, please let go off my thoughts & memories..