It Just Is“What makes Blue?”
She’s seven, and Autistic, which just means that sometimes you have to take that extra second, or minute to explain something to her that another child would just accept as fact, without an explanation being necessary. I have found however that it is often in the explaining that I gain a better understanding of that which I am attempting to elucidate for her.
We were discussing colors and how when you mix white and red you get pink, and so forth. “I know” she said, “red and blue make purple—your favorite color! But what about blue? What makes blue?”
Blue just is, I told her, because it was late and I was not in the mood.
“Yes. But what makes Blue?”
And I told her, kind of with exasperation, “Blue is just blue. It just is.”
And I am thinking about the sun and water in the atmosphere and prisms and primary colors and secondary colors and different hues and rainbows and wheel charts from when I was in first grade and baby food jars filled with gloppy cheap paint and giant brushes for little hands and the sky, and blue eyes and…
And I was thinking about this long after she went to bed too. I have been doing some serious spiritual work lately, recovering from a nervous break down. Something I read came back to me, about how god works in our lives, about how so many people are misguided in their approach to incorporating love into their lives. The example was the sun, how once we accept that there is a sun, we don’t spend every waking moment praying to the sun to give us light, and heat, and life—we just accept that the sun is always there and will provide those things for us.
That is how it is with god. Once you accept that there is love in the universe, love that is not only there for us to tap into but is actually who we are, we shouldn’t feel the need to implore the universe to intervene, to help us, to provide for us.
It all just is.
Once you accept this premise, the rest is just living, breathing, until you don’t anymore, and then perhaps you begin at death, to understand far more than you could ever imagine while you were still breathing and cursing the weather, or your luck, or any number of inane things we trouble ourselves with.
It just is.
Yeah. I’m getting it, little by little and I am healing and I am feeling stronger and more confident and at peace every day.
Of course I am not doing it alone.
I have help.
Okay, do not even get me started on Aqua.