Thank God Almighty, I Am Free At Last!I'd say, that for about 10 years or more, I've lived a life of hate, anger, and jealousy. Anger that I was visually impaired, anger that my sister got married before me. Jealousy of the fact, she had sight and I didn't. It's pretty bad, when your sister says she's afraid to leave her animals around you. That she is afraid something would be done to her. It's bad, when your own Mother says, "I can't stand my daughter anymore." My boyfriend was about to leave me, and I was almost out of a damn good job.
I always believe in the power of prayer. God sends signs to show you that you need help. That he is their and he's the ultimate healer. For the longest time, I tried convincing myself that I was fine. Not needing to see a psychiatrist for medication management. I was given a medication called BuSpar.
Fast forward to about 4 months ago. So finally, I go see this psychiatrist. "Don't know what the hell he's gonna do but I'll go to satisfy everyone else", I thought. Here's where God showed his presence. The psychiatrist, I felt comfortable with, he made it clear that I wasn't crazy. He put me on Zoloft for the temper and depression. Trazodone for my severe insomnia. He took me off the BuSpar. Which I came to find out, it was a medication for seizures, not anxiety. Within 2 weeks, I saw a difference. The anger was gone! The rage I carried around for 10 years, Gone! I feel alive! I am sleeping nights! I'm up at a reasonable hour! It feels so good, that I've been healed! I've been free of this sickness that plegged me for so, so long! My relationship with my family? They can't believe the person they knew existed inside, has finally arrived! We no longer fight. I'll never forget what Mom said to the psychiatrist on that next visit. "Thank you for giving our daughter back." My boyfriend and I, our love is stronger than ever. Next month, will be his turn to go to the psychiatrist with me. "I'm falling in love with you all over again" he says. So, if this isn't a miracle, I don't know what is? God has prevailed once again, that he is the ultimate decision maker, he is our doctor, he's our lawyer, he is our guide.