In A Dd Relationship

I was with my boyfriend for 2 years before he spanked me for the first time. Before then, we had typical relationship. We have a lot of fun together, and he made me laugh. It was a give and take relationship. We got engaged a few weeks before my first spanking.

After getting engaged, our relationship changed a little. I have a stressful job and I think with the stress from the job, the stress from moving in together, and the wedding stuff, I might have been a little crabby. I sent him a rude email and he responded saying, "we'll discuss it when you get home." When I got home, I was full of attitude. He was sitting on the couch and told me to sit down. He basically told me that he was in charge, and that I would respect him. He told me that he would start include spankings into our relationship if I misbehaved. He said that crabbiness was not permitted. Me swearing (I have a truck driver's mouth) was not permitted. if I was mishaved or didn't respect him, I would be spanked. He said a wife respects her husband, and now that we were engaged, I needed to start acting like a wife, and not some bitchy girlfriend. I told him he was crazy and I walked into the bedroom. I thought he was joking. He knew I was into spankings and we had roled play before, but it was a light spanking. Not for REAL.

He followed me and told me that he was serious. That this is how the relationship worked. I was so taken aback (and kind of curious) that I allowed this to happen. He put me over his knee, fully clothed, and spanked my butt. It didn't hurt and when he was done, I stood up and made some comment about how hot I was. It was kind of sexy and I have to admit, I enjoyed it. We then had the bed sex of my life.

Fast forward a year. We were married maybe 4 months. After work, I told him I was on my way home. A friend of mine asked me to grab a drink and i did. I forgot to text. About an hour later, he texted me and I told him I was out, and was leaving. He responded, "we'll discuss it when you get home." When i hear that sentence now, I shake. I sometimes begin to cry immediately. But then I, I knew he was mad, but didnt think much of it. When I got home, I didn't see him. I went to the bedroom and he was sitting on the loveseat. He began lecturing me. I was rude, inconsiderate. He was worried. He told me that I would be punished. I laughed, and said, oh really? I was hoping you'd say that. I had been drinking a little horny. I had a skirt on and he put me over his knee, lifted up my skirt and pulled down my panties, he began spanking my bare *** at that point, and he didn't stop. It stung. I resisted and he held my arms, put his legs over mine so I was trapped and began spanking me with a wooden hairbrush. He continued to spank me until I was crying, apologizing. He told me to stand and he removed his belt. He told me that if I ever acted like that during a punishment, I would be given the belt. He then directed me to the corner, where I stood for 20 minutes. When he came to get me, he told me that I was grounded for one week. No going out. and if I ever, ever did that again, Id receive a spanking every day for the week.

I don't receive spankings a lot, but when i do, they are bad. I am spanked to tears each time. If I misbehave during a spanking, he uses the belt on me after the spanking. Sometimes, he will spank me again the next morning for misbehaving. Id say, ive received maybe 5 or 6 spankings over our marriage. we have been married 2 1/2 years.

I get spanked for things like lying, forgetting to text or calling if I have to work late, or being rude....or swearing. That is pretty much it. Other than the spanking, we have a normal relationship. He worships me and does so much for me. On the outside, I hvave the perfect husband. He cooks, cleans, does laundry, and isn't controlling about most things. I have girl time and he has time with the boys. he doesn't complain when I spend money like some of my friend's husbands. We have a great sex life and generally get along so great.

I don't mind being spanked for fun in a role playing setting. I kind of like that. I have tried to talk to my husband about this, and he believes this is how a marriage should be. I don't nkow if I shoudl just acce[t this part of it...knowing how great everything else is. I was spanked last night for lying. I lied to avoid a spanking and now I am on punishment for a week. Im not even suppose to be using this computer. I was paddled to tears and grounded. When he gets home today, I am going to be paddled again. Every day this week, at 7:00 p.m., I have to be sitting in the chair near his office...(he works from home). I have to have the hair brush in hand. He will come get me when he is ready and I am reminded of what I did wrong. I will lay across the desk (not his lap b/c he said thats too personal), and I will be paddled again to tears. He will then take his belt and give me 3 whips with it. I will have this every day for a week for lying. At least that is what he said. If he finds out Im using this computer, I am sure the punishment will be extended.

I just want our relationship to go back to normal. I love my husband, and love virtually everything else we have in our relationship. I just dont' love this part of it.
philid1973 philid1973
10 Responses May 7, 2011

Hitting you (don't euphemize and say 'spanking') and causing you pain, and thinking it's proper for him to do it, are the signs of psychotic mind. You need to get out and get away, and leave him for good. What will he do to your children, what mental damage will he cause them?

it sounds abusive to me - so sorry for you

it started by a small discussion, so enhance it with another one, tell him that exaggeration spoils any relation, and you started as a funny issue, and you never mind to be disciplined but HOH is about guiding ur relation to the best not only about punishment.
i am sure you have many ways to convince him, just start and read a lot here and in other serious site about how to manage a DD relationز
hope ur life be better soon

oh man that suxs.

it is abuse unless you consent to such actions. TIH and DD are both ways of living that need to be agreed upon by both people. If it is something that you agree with then thats fine, but if you don't like it and it seems that you don't by what you are saying then you need to tell him that he needs to stop. No man ever has the right to punish you without your consent. I hope you are ok!

From what I think I know of LDD, it is intended that punishment is just that- punishment. It isnt intended to be anything other than painful & unpleasant at the time. The focus needs to be, I think, on the benefits that acrue as a result of accepting this lifestyle. If you feel remorseful for your behaviour ( & accepted at the start of the punishment session that you deserved a thoroughly good spanking) & submissive to your HOH, then the benefits will be obvious to you. At the same time, you should be able to discuss how you feel after the ordeal, & your HOH, who loves you more now because of your respect for him, will want to always do what is best for you. By the same token, some of the discipline may be to satisfy him, & that is a goal in itself for you to please him in this manner. But discussing your needs isnt a problem for a LDD relationship. We HOH's should always want to get feedback so we can be even more effective in achieving the desired outcome, which is Husbands loving their wives, & wives respecting their husbands. Thats a win win situation & the best outcome. Your HOH should not be a tyrrant! Thats definately not love.

Though I really find DD relationship is of great help to our marriage, I think you should talk to him if you really cannot accept his way of punishment. Maybe you can think of another discipline way which are not that harsh, such as standing in the corner, or let him agree to always spank you with his hand.<br />
As for me, I would be really annoyed to be spanked everyday for one misbehavior. I'll take my punishment even it is very harsh. But that's once for all. I have regretted for my misbehavior and would try not to do it again.

You must always obey your husband, that's all.

i agree 100% im not married but my man and i are new to dd and we also dont live together yet. im in big trouble cause i am trying to quite smoking and i went and bought a pack today and so when he comes up i know im going to get my *** tanned for buying a pack of smokes.

In the first lines of ur story, I feel u like this lifestyle totally and hope it Lasts 4ever, but then I realized u may suffer from ur husband exaggerations and misunderstanding to his role. We must admit that he is trying to guide ur life safely, get out the best of you as his obedient good wife, and he is trying to play his role as a HOH and family guide, BUT he might have reached some issue which is far away from the meaning of discipline.<br />
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Try first to maximize with him his role and that u are appreciating his efforts in establishing a disciplined good family, then make him notice that discipline is not always about spanking, and the punishment fit to a woman may be a disaster for another, talk to him that his punishment doesn't always solve the problem, on contract it might be a reason for new bad behaviors (like lying for example), so he has to use discipline tools wisdom, and negotiate together other ways of discipline(talking, lecturing and advising is greater sometimes than spanking), you both can try some sorts of non physical punishment which fit u, or even light spanking.<br />
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Also try to always be obedient to him, especially after he lectures u by ur mistakes and after applying a non physical punishment, try to show him good results for applying the punishment which u think it is suitable.<br />
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At last try ur best to know from where he gets his ideas, I know people who was Interested in safe DD relations and after surfing Extremist sites he became a BDSM Sadistic Creature. And if it help u can both search here for stories and experiences of moderate and wisdom Discipline.<br />
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Advice is easier than implementing, but that all I have, and u know best ur husband's keys, so may ALLAH bless y and change ur life to the best he –The Most Wisdom- knows.

you MUST tell him that you do not agree with this. If you resent the discipline and it is all from him and there is no input from you, it is wrong.