My New Way Of Life

My boyfriend & i have been together 6 years. He is 49 & was in the military. he is a very dominant person. Well, im a very mouthy woman & have been very disrespectful, rude, disobedient & dishonest with him over the years. We have had many physical fights early on & i know if i hadnt done or said the things i did we wouldnt have fought. he doesnt start fights but would only take so much from me before he snapped. He is a wonderful man & has somehow forgiven me for everything ive done to him. I know hes a keeper. He would lay his life on the line for me. Last year on our 5th anniversary, i realized how wrong ive been. I have treated him so bad & yet, hes still there for me. I came across some websites about christian dd. I talked to him about it & weve been at it for about 7 months now. We still have alot to learn. I feel he needs to be more consistent. I also feel like the ones for repeat offenses need to be longer & harder. When i try to talk to him about these things he tells me dont tell him how to discipline. I also wish he would discipline me when my wrongdoing happened, if possible. He likes to wait until that night & then sometimes he will fall asleep & im left feeling disappointed. Is that strange? This has definetly made me look at myself & my attitude in a whole new light. Ivee been apologizing to him alot. He has hated me saying "whatever' to him since ive known him. The old me would say it over & over again out of anger. The new me has only said it a few times. the first time is said it months ago, he made me spell out it while he spanked me. It was 8 of the hardest licks he has given me. I usually get 20 with the belt. It was months before i said that word again. Well, last saturday I said it. He fell asleep. Sunday, I let it come out again. He fell asleep again. Moday i let it slip again. I got a spanking that night but the " whatever" wasnt brought up. i got 15 licks with the belt. No bruising, but i was sore. Well. last night surprise! I was told to go to the room & get in position. I leaned over the bed & he had me spell out whatever. Ok. I thought i was done. Wrong! I was told to bend back over & spell whatever again. I had tears in my eyes when i got to that last "r" but i was ok. He hugged me, I was doing the "stinging butt dance" & he said bend over again, you need to spell it 1 more time. I promise you it will be awhile before i sat that word again!! Im trying for never!!! I told him in bed later, why did my favourite word have to have so many letters? Lol My butt is still sore as we speak. I know this relationship is helping us. I just wish we had started it earlier! :)
kimberly0000 kimberly0000
41-45, F
3 Responses May 16, 2012

whatever....

Youre welcome. Its nice to have a place where i can share my feelings.

Great story thanks for sharing ...

Ditto!