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I Don't

I think I am pretty tolerant of the idea that a man "should be in charge blah blah blah" but that's only because I grew up in a home where that's how shitt was, it's just sad that it was taken to the extreme.

And honestly, sometimes it really sucked. My mom would ASK my dad for permission to go places. That's just fuckked up. She's a grown woman-- I think she can make the decision whether she needs to go shopping or not.

That's why I am not fond of the idea of marrying a fellow Latino. Latinos tend to have that mentality. Sure, I am making a generalization, but only because EVERY single teenage Latino guy I've met is like that. I think that's lame.

See, I can understand that a man can decide what's best for his family, etc. I think that's kinda hawt, that a man act like man, but degrading his wife and telling her EVERYTHING to do just doesn't go well with me. Don't expect me to cook for you because I can't. Don't think I am going to clean the house simply because I am a woman, because I won't. But fuckk yeah, I'll take care of my kids if I have any. I will feed them (somehow), give them baths, buy them clothes and play with them. And no, I won't do it because you tell me to, but because I love them, duh!
CrazyHippieChick CrazyHippieChick 22-25, F 23 Responses Jan 26, 2011

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LOL This is funny! I love it!

Yow women got it confused. It's not that letting him lead is a bad thing, it's just the way it is. I mean there can only be one king. You never will see two kings running a kingdom. One person has to be in control, to be the leader, but does not mean he is your master because it is not slavery. Put it like this when your mother asked him these things I bet your dad said yes over 90%. Now if she didn't ask him and just did it, or if she didn't ask him and just told him, then instead 90% of the time she got to do what she want it would be the opposite, 90% of the time he disappoved of her decision and them two argued and fought. God made the man to be the leader and that is just the way it is, he made man number one and the woman number 2. It's like the man is the president but every good president has a good vice president. Just ask your self is our current vice president have any problems he might now live in the White House but I got a feeling he aint living with the pigs. Being number 2 is not so bad because while you can't be the leader, us men can't do somethings that you woman can do.

What fucken ever.

Thanks honey :D<br />
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You're awesome.

I guess it's a matter of choices, of what pleases us, no?<br />
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I posted this after I read someone calling their husband their "master" sorry, but that's just not my cup of tea.<br />
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And I thank you for stating your opinion, that's what EP is all about.

Of course hitting and degradation are crap. Holy heavens, I'd never put up with that. And I'd never say you don't have the right to post what you want. That comes with my right to voice my disagreement with it, and for others to be offended. Your right to post doesn't mean you have to, and it doesn't mean you can't be considerate. I just seek to understand why you felt here was the appropriate place. Was it reactive to stories you read, or did you seek it out? Was it merely out of facetiousness? <br />
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I am a strong, confident woman. I do deserve respect. My husband gives me everything I could ever want. He wakes me every morning with "good morning beautiful!". He opens the car door for me every time, still to this day. He takes our son out if I'm having a hard time focusing so I can have silence. I got depressed not working, so he supported me working. He's always bringing me ice cream or doing the silliest little things for me. When I mentioned thinking about going back to school, he insisted I not put it off, and spent all night up with me helping me choose a path.<br />
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So yeah, I cook, clean, and ask if he's okay with me going out. Whatever. I have the best friend and partner anyone could ever have. <br />
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I'd like to share something with you. In the Bible (I know, I know, but bear with me), there's a section called Proverbs 31. The passage seems like a list of requirements for women. It's not. It's everything a man should appreciate in a good wife. <br />
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10 Who can find a virtuous woman?<br />
For her price is far above rubies.<br />
11 The heart of her husband doth safely trust in her,<br />
so that he shall have no need of spoil.<br />
12 She will do him good and not evil<br />
all the days of her life.<br />
13 She seeketh wool, and flax,<br />
and worketh willingly with her hands.<br />
14 She is like the merchants' ships;<br />
she bringeth her food from afar.<br />
15 She riseth also while it is yet night,<br />
and giveth meat to her household,<br />
and a portion to her maidens.<br />
16 She considereth a field, and buyeth it:<br />
with the fruit of her hands she planteth a vineyard.<br />
17 She girdeth her loins with strength,<br />
and strengtheneth her arms.<br />
18 She perceiveth that her merchandise is good:<br />
her candle goeth not out by night.<br />
19 She layeth her hands to the spindle,<br />
and her hands hold the distaff.<br />
20 She stretcheth our her hand to the poor;<br />
yea, she reacheth forth her hands to the needy.<br />
21 She is not afraid of the snow for her household:<br />
for all her household are clothed with scarlet.<br />
22 She maketh herself coverings of tapestry;<br />
her clothing is silk and purple.<br />
23 Her husband is known in the gates,<br />
when he sitteth among the elders of the land.<br />
24 She maketh fine linen, and selleth it;<br />
and delivereth girdles unto the merchant.<br />
25 Strength and honor are her clothing;<br />
and she shall rejoice in time to come.<br />
26 She openeth her mouth with wisdom;<br />
and in her tongue is the law of kindness.<br />
27 She looketh well to the ways of her household,<br />
and eateth not the bread of idleness.<br />
28 Her children arise up, and call her blessed;<br />
her husband also, and he praiseth her.<br />
29 Many daughters have done virtuously,<br />
but thou excellest them all.<br />
30 Favor is deceitful, and beauty is vain:<br />
but a woman that feareth the LORD, she shall be praised.<br />
31 Give her of the fruit of her hands;<br />
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Basically, it's saying a man should seek to deserve this woman. He should lift her up and provide her what she needs. He trusts her completely. He praises her. He has to EARN all these things from her. So I wouldn't just say that a man could never earn that from me... because of course, then I'd never meet a man who would do as much as my husband does. Why would they try? <br />
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The group is "I believe in obeying husband completely". It doesn't say "without him obeying my wishes". He does. He asks me before he goes out, too. <br />
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Just thought I'd put some of this into perspective. There's a very wide definition of 'obeying', and some people have found precisely where they fit. <br />
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I'm sorry about your family's history. I didn't have a relationship to take example from and had to learn it all myself, and have been through all the extremes in trying to understand what I feel my place is.<br />
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And I know what you mean about Latinos. Growing up in New Mexico, I once ended a relationship before it began when a guy put his hand over my mouth when I tried to talk. We've kissed once and you think you own me? No way. I did marry a Hispanic man... who was raised by a mother that commanded respect and gratefulness for all she did and knocked him upside the head if he was rude to a woman. :)

Wow. WELL SAID.<br />
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Thank you for your comment.

Well, you obviously aren't the submissive kind, CrazyHippieChick, so I understand your feelings.<br />
That you don't agree with some men who see women as pieces of meat and treat them without the slightest respect is but normal. I don't either. I despise such men.<br />
But I am rather dominant. I like women with a submissive streak. That doesn't mean that I treat every woman like dirt. On the contrary. I respect women. Especially MY woman. It's a mutual thing. Quid pro quo. You take and you give. Otherwise such a relationship -ANY relationship- is doomed.<br />
The basic foundations of my relationships are trust, caring and respect. Whatever games we play...

Aww Amelle, I know it's been rough for you dear *hugs*<br />
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And I am glad to know that despite through all the shitt you've been through you are not broken and you have confidence.<br />
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I guess it's all a matter of differing opinions. <br />
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I just personally don't agree with excessive submissiveness but hey, that's just my opinion

Arorin--ROFL.<br />
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*kicks you* xP<br />
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Naw, I think it's about a couple complimenting each other well and just like their is decisions I'd want a hubbie to make, I think their is decisions a wifey has to make. <br />
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I can see a man kinda taking the lead for his family and what not, that makes perfect sense to me.

I don't understand the submissive part. I hate not being challenged, it is just so boring..

Yeah, that's the thing though--I was saying that to some extent I understand being submissive just not to certain degrees. But mehhhhh I am not here to please anyone.<br />
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Thanks for the support Lion *hugs*

Well it doesn't have anything to do with the point of the story. The fact that you are posting a story in opposition of "this" kind of group, I already know the replies you are going to get from it. It is asking for a fight even if you really aren't, but that is what these people who support the group will see.

Yeah, Rawry, when people don't know me well they kind of miss the point of my posts.<br />
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I sometimes come off sounding too harsh :/<br />
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Thanks for your comment buddy.

One of the reason I stopped posting a lot of stories is I am tired of being attacked. Not that it hurts me or that I care, but I am bored of the time to read those things, and respond to them if I do etc... Good luck with this story though.

Again, I can post what I want where I want. I was stating that to some extent I do believe in being submissive. And if you find it offensive obviously you didn't get the point. And that's okay, I don't care.<br />
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It's the way I write and the way I speak, last time I checked, I have the right to say as I please.<br />
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I am sharing my personal experience and I have the right to do so. I wouldn't be on EP if I didn't think that.<br />
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I think men have the right to lead, but I think degrading a woman is crap. Hitting a women is crap. Yes, that's MY opinion. And I respect you if you have another.

I don't mean to attack, merely to point out a lack in tact and mindfulness. I simply don't understand why you came to a group of support, to post this. Did you think it was something supportive? Did you seek support from women who believe in obeying their husband? <br />
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The "blah blah blah" is offensive. You even said "I have a problem with this group," which leads me to wonder why you're here if not to laugh at people like myself. The cursing isn't necessary. I also never said anything about knowing you, or you knowing me, so I don't know where that came from, and I'm not judging you. I'm actually upset at your judging of the lifestyle of people in this usually supportive group of strong-willed, empowered women, and lack of willingness to understand. Feel free to ask questions.

And I have the right to post what I want where I want.<br />
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I respect your comment, but I will not let you tell me I am wrong to post what I feel it when I feel it<br />
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I am not offending anyone by telling the world my dad was mean to my mom or the fact that my dad used to beat the living shitt outta me.<br />
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I am not offending anyone by telling the world that my friends have gotten raped.<br />
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I am not offending anyone by telling the world that I don't believe in abuse and that there is a FINE line (IN MY OPINION) between submissive qualities and abuse.<br />
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You don't know me either, so don't judge.<br />
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Thanks. If you want talk to me about this you can send me a pm and we can talk about it on a personal level and I'll believe that you're not just trying to call me out and make me feel inferior.<br />
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Seriously.<br />
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I think it's fuckking cool that you shared your opinion though, just please don't try to attack me. Or make me feel like feeling the way I feel is wrong.<br />
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I wish you well.

Then you're just not like that. I understand that not everyone's like me. Can you just try to understand that some people enjoy being like that? Why do you have to come into this group to knock the people in it? <br />
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I'll quote the line above this comment box:<br />
"Experience Project is a community ba<x>sed on authenticity, support, and respect. EP encourages you to post with these values in mind."<br />
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Consider who you're purposely offending, please.<br />
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Contrarily, I offer any support and love I can to you and whatever reason you felt this necessary. I hope you find what you are looking for, a man that will see you as the equal or potentially dominant role that you seek.

Pfft haha, sadist. good one :D

HAHAHA HOLZ! I love you! xD

Agreed dear.<br />
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I HATE being told what to do, it honestly pissses me the fuckk off.<br />
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That's why I have a problem with this group. But people have different opinions etc.

that and those types of guys tend to think of you as property :/

PFFFT i hate people telling me what to do. **** those guys :I