Post

My Submission And Surrender

I posted this in another group too but it seemed appropriate here too...

I do submit completely to my husband. I have an awesome marriage. I couldn't't be happier. He loves me and would never ask me to do something that would be wrong or hurt me. On the day I made my wedding vows I surrendered myself to his will. I promised to love, honor and obey him. My marriage is still young and I am still learning the best ways to fulfill my vows. But one thing I have learned is that submission is key to a good marriage.

He is the man of the house and I am his woman. He makes me feel loved, protected and cherished. I know he would do anything for me and I would do anything for him.

I would hate it if he did not allow me to submit to him. I have discovered that my submission makes me feel feminine and complete. I don't know why...maybe its because this is my destiny? This is how its supposed to be?

My marriage is like a beautiful, harmonious dance. He leads and I follow. There is never tension or disharmony. I see so many unhappy women. They scoff at my desire to please my husband. I cook and clean...I keep myself pretty and available for his pleasure. They laugh at me and call me old fashion. But, why am I the happy one and they are the ones who spend our lunches bitching about their men?

What does obeying my husband mean on a daily basis? Well here are a couple examples...

1- I call him and ask if its OK when I want to buy something not usually in the budget. He keeps track of our income and so he knows what we can afford. He usually says yes, but if he says no, he explains why. (And I usually get a surprise present later when we CAN afford it)

2- I ask him when I want to have friends over or go out with my girl friends. He rarely says no. He loves that I ask him...It makes him want to make me happy.

3-He knows he can always have me whenever, wherever. I obey his sexual desires. How horrible, right? I have to have sex all the time! What woman wants to *** more then once a day?? (That was sarcasm in case you didn't catch it LOL)

4-I never argue with him in front of others! (I hate seeing wives being shrewish in public! It emasculates their men) I almost never argue even in private...and If I behave badly, I apologize and usually give him my best blow job with him standing and me kneeling...I like doing this because it helps put me in a submissive mind set and it turns me on a lot!

If I disagree with him I will quietly and privately let him know what my opinion is. If I present my thoughts logically and am respectful of his opinion, he generally takes my opinion into consideration. If he does not...I submit to him and he appreciates me all the more for it.

5-He likes my nails done so I try to keep them manicured and painted. My girlfriends even scoff at this small effort on my part to please...Even though they usually do the same thing anyway. Its as if because my husband asks me to, I now suddenly shouldn't as a matter of principal...I really do not understand this obstinate nature many of my girlfriends have!

So my point is that submitting doesn't make me a slave, It simply creates harmony. I obey him of my own free will and he accepts my gift of submission and never makes unreasonable demands. He knows I would do anything he requests so he is all the more considerate of me. Does that make sense? (even if he did make unreasonable demands I wouldn't't break my rule. It is my chosen lifestyle...complete submission to my husband. I have seen many failed or miserable marriages and a few good ones...The good ones always have a wife who honors and respects her husband and she always submits to some degree. I want a good marriage.)

To sum up my views on how a woman should behave in marriage. Respect, Honor and Obey. Keep the home clean and cook healthy, wholesome food he will enjoy, Keep yourself neat and presentable. You reflect your husbands character and he should always be proud to present you to friends and co-workers. Be available and enthusiastic sexually. Teach your children to respect and obey their father as their protector and provider.

I have a wonderful husband who deserves my submission. And I have noticed that the more respect I show him the harder he works to earn my trust and confidence. What more could I ask for?

Everyday I feel cherished and loved. I feel feminine and I revel in my femininity. I take pride and joy in my husbands masculinity. I submit and I love submitting. I am protected. I am loved. I am perfectly content.
hannah24 hannah24 22-25, F 45 Responses Feb 10, 2011

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Hannah, you are wise beyond your years - thank you for sharing.

It's a man's right, by nature, to have sex whenever he wants, with whomever is available to him. I embrace that, and try to be the best lay he can possibly have. It works for me.

Loved reading your story! It is the greatest joy and satisfaction when we devote ourselves to others. The expression "giving is receiving" is true. In the Yoga world we call this selfless service. This is usually reserved for God as "he" is the ultimate receiver of all sacrifice. But, you are on a parallel path. It is often taught to see our spouse as an expression of the beloved Lord. You are still young and have time to progress your views . Your husband sounds like a great guy. Do what makes you both happy! Best of luck to you and your family : )

You seem to have it figured out Hannah. There is only one problem, and that is that some men, become abusive and treat their wife as a doormat, have no respect for their spouse, and she will eventually resent and undermine the relationship. So as long as the husband can handle it in rightesness it is the best model. Needless to say this is not politically correct in todays society. Hence all the divorces.

I'm glad this works for you. I'm also confused, since doing that exact same thing completely failed to work in my case, the more I gave, the more was expected of me and the less acceptable the result. Showing the respect of asking prior to accepting invitations or making purchases invited only haranguing and accusations of betrayal, certainly not effort to further earn my trust or confidence, and brought on more and more unreasonable demands, to which I continued to submit, all with the same result:his displeasure at my incompetence and gold-digging. This went on until the day he tossed me aside and walked away, 6 weeks ago.

Yes, I agree with MissMang. The point is that few men can actually do this right. But if they can, the relationship will be awesome.

You can't be American because most girls here are the total opposite I was reading one comment someone left you and she was appalled because asking is just out the question, but when you ask it shows him that he is the boss and like you said he rarely says no. What people don't realize is marriage is a job and he is the boss but the thing is he is not to take advantage of you, and you are lucky because a lot of totally take adavantage of their authority and abuse women. I like how you said he rarely says no and will never tell you to do anything wrong. It sounds like you got the perfect marriage I hope you two live happily ever after may God bless you. :)

I'm glad this works for you and your husband. I'm thrilled that you have a loving and understanding husband (no sarcasm at all). I personally couldn't go through with it probably because, one, I'd be concerned if he would appreciate it, two, I enjoy being an equal and three it gives me a kick to argue, reach a conclusion and the cascading amount of passion that follows after. Since reading your article, I've put in quite a bit of thought to it and I agree with you on most of the things, the taking care of yourself, keeping yourself available when possible, the cooking (to some extent because personally I enjoy indulging in it together. Getting dirty and cleaning up after together is something that I've always loved doing). But the part where I have to hit the brakes is asking for permission. Whether it's buying things or asking to go out with girls, nope, sorry no can do. I work so I buy things anyways whether it's for myself, for him, for the house, for his things, whatever.
Well anyhoo, that was just my two cents on the topic. Again I reiterate that I'm happy that it works so well for you and I must say that you are very lucky that you've found a man that understands you and doesn't take advantage.
Cheers!

I like it all. And I smile when i read that to apologise you give him a bj with him standing and you kneeling. It really sounds like a good way to apologise.

I appreciate that this works for you, but what worries me is that you seem to think that this is the only to happiness. People can be equal and happy! I agree with you on the most part, but I would expect him to return everything equally. If I can't find a guy like this than so be it, I will be happy keeping my dignity lol.

*Way

My husband always wants me to be available, one reason why he insists on skirts or dresses as they are quick to flip up or down. I do sometimes prefer not to but have never said no as I believe it is a wifes duty to please.

Yes, I also believe that being available to my husband-master ALWAYS is my most important duty. And I love doing this.

Well said and I agree. I'm the same way. The more I can please Him the happier I am.

NICE.....:)

This is amazing! My happiest relationships were this way as with my current girlfriend. In marriage it must be 10x more powerful

I wished to live this way with my husband....he never appreciated it. I wish to have a husband in the future who appreciates me as a submissive.

It's a shame that more women don't think like you. You would do the universe a favor and encourage other women to act accordingly.

Your attitude is so awesome! I only wish that I could get my wife to adopt your way of thinking. I am pondering how I can present your ideas to her at a time and in a way that she will accept.

I have a husband that is very dominant in our life. I would like to awaken his dominant side in our sex life though. He is amazing to me but our sex life can get routine. We are married with 3 children, he is gone a lot at night so on the nights he is home I want hom to be pleased not board. How do I go about introducing more than vanilla sex to him? I know he is board though he would never admit it because he doesn't want to hurt me, and I worry about the same thing when I try to introduce things. I like having him be the dominant one!

In my opinion you could do a lot to improve things. I have collected a few videos (not **** but instructive clips) that would likely do wonders for your hand and mouth skills. That, of course, isn't everything but it would be a great start. I don't know how I could possibly share them with you so you will probably have to do your own research online. The problem is that it requires a great deal of time and effort wading through a great deal of boring stuff to find the type that could help.

You are right to be concerned about boredom. It is the biggest killer of sex lives among couples.

well wild guide. I am very open to things. The issue is that he doesn't want to do it. The more I am reading about the medication he is on is more the issue. Which explains a lt of things.

You are a sweet uncorrupted romantic at this point in your life, enjoy~

Agree totally.

VERY well done. 100 % on point.Good for the both of you. IF there were more women like you I think that the world would be a better place.

I agree with this article. I fully submit to my husband, for better or worse. He is in charge, and I willingly follow him. I would not have married a man that I couldn't trust to run and take care of me and my children. I respect him and I love him so dearly, that I couldn't do enough for him on a daily basis. Because he is respected and trusted as the head of the household, he is an attentive husband, who loves to spoil me and see me smile and blush. He is a loving and caring father, with full respect from his children, as we have raised them to always obey and love their father. He is a cheerful man, and very confident in himself, and we are confident in him as well. When he does mess up, make a bad decision, or backtrack, we stand behind him and support him, he is still only a man and will make mistakes from time to time, and he needs his family's support to get out of whatever is going on. We seldom fight or argue because I know he is a smart, capable man and there is no need to question him or lay out too many details, I know he thinks things through fairly well lol. I also try to be as sexually available as possible. I have a bad background sexually and I can shrink back and fear sexual encounters, but my husband is so patient and loving that it's hardly an issue, he is the reason Im more comfortable sexually in the first place. And he DESERVES everything and more. A worthy man is a rare, rare find! When you find him, live your life showing him that he is worthy of all the love and happiness and kindness and comfort in the world! A good husband deserves the very best!

Thank you for your lovely comment. We are truly blessed women

ref. men/women roles in culture, there's an interesting youtube clip here of Baganda culture in Uganda; women kneel down to older men in everyday life, to give respect. I guess many men feel 'built up' by this; more likely to go out and make a kill to feed the family etc.. (This is an extended version of the clip seen recently in the film "Life In A Day") - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WIIguYs9Oxc&feature=youtube_gdata_player

hannah 24, thank you for this. How would you advise husbands who wants to begin on this journey - to awaken this in their wives? (Create a trustworthy and loving and secure environment, and let the lady discover submission in herself?)

Thanks

I am honored that you would ask my opinion.
What you said about creating a safe, loving environment is key to a healthy d/s or taken in hand relationship. Remember that you are taking on a great responsibility. Your stewardship of your wife’s emotional health and well-being requires you to be vigilant, never take your position as the HoH lightly and never be negligent. With power comes responsibility and the more power you have the greater your responsibility is.

I think it’s important to demand a certain level of respect while taking your wife's feelings and opinions into consideration. For instance, if you tell her no then tell her why, but not in a way that sounds like you are defending yourself; tell her in a way that conveys confidence in your decision. Gentle and firm is the best way to take control.
Anger is your worst enemy. If she can make you angry then she has that much power over you AND she probably secretly despises the anger as a sign of weakness. If you cannot control your own emotions and responses to her actions than how can she trust you to control hers?

If your wife is stubborn, brainwashed by today's "feminists," or if you just feel she will not be receptive to the idea of submitting due to a misunderstanding of what it means then I would suggest starting in the bedroom. Take small steps. Be dominating in bed. It will bleed into your everyday life. Most women I have spoken with wanted to “try the submission thing” in the bedroom. They wanted that primal feeling of being “taken” claimed, or marked as their man’s. Then after the novelty of this new game wore off they wanted to take it further. They slowly get further and further into this new, intoxicating world (that is actually far more natural then they realize considering that for thousands of years most women were submissive to their men) and now are living an intirley D/S lifestyle and loving every minute of it (or at least most of the time... nobody’s perfect of course)

I think most women want to submit and will do so if given an opportunity. So often, however, our brains get in the way screaming protests involving "evil male dominance" and "losing our true identity” and so on. It's hard to ignore these voices since that rubbish is what we have been spoon fed since kids.

As funny as this may sound I would advise you to read some romance novels. I have read several by Myra Banks and other borderline D/S authors who really do a good job portraying what’s going on inside a girls head when it comes to the whole dominance/submission sort of thing. Perhaps Sweet Surrender would be a good one to read. I like Sweet Persuasion as well. They have a lot of sex scenes being erotic in nature but they also touch on some interesting points. (Personally I don’t care for the woman sharing aspect of these books, but over all I think she has some good insights on what makes a woman want to submit) Myra goes further into bondage play than your question made it sound like you are interested in…but it is still the same concept.

Best advice I can think of is be consistent, be strong, if you mess up admit it to her. Just take control. Tell her yes or no. Tell her what you want and be sure you are clear. If she does not submit then I would suggest straight out telling her you except to be obeyed and there will be consequences for disobedience.

Most important; make sure you are the sort of man who deserves the absolute trust that true submission requires. Don’t abuse your powers.

UHG! Every time i hit reply all my paragraph spaces disappear and my reply turns into one humongous, hard- -to read lump! Sorry!

many thanks

iy has worked in my marriage as well.. in part because I support my wife in what she wants to do. For this to work, it takes two cooperating and loving partners.

Thank you, kraut12, for the lovely compliment and encouraging words.

This is so wild to me, but not something i could do, equality has worked great for my relationship, suppose it's what ever floats your boat.

Wonderfully worded. I hope to be in a relationship like this one day.

great story

Hannah... congratulations on coming to this realization early in your marriage. It took me a while, but I am now also so fulfilled and happy. And...well, he is sooo much more content as I finally embrace his masculinity and leadership drive. Why oh why did I follow ridiculous societal pressures and parallels so long, forsaking harmony and peace for an ephemeral and misplaced goal?! At last at peace. At last in harmony. At last where I belong. Content, happy, and secure.



Thanks for posting

I don't understand why people will post something in the group "I believe in obeying my husband completely". If you don't agree with that statement, then why are you reading posts within this experience? The experience groups are for like minded people. You would be surprised in how happy you may be submitting to your husband completely. it's not abuse, it's a wonderful way to live :)