My Submission, Surrender And My Rights And Equality

This is following up on my story called "My submission and Surrender." I received a comment that made me think about my rights and my choice to surrender to my husband. I decided to post this in response.
After pondering it for the past day, I find no connection between my relationship with my husband and my views on Women Rights.
My beliefs in womens rights are as follows. I do believe women should be equal in the eyes of the law. I whole heartedly support female politicians (with whom I agree politically.) I don't disagree with women being in the workforce ( I myself work 20 hours a week.) I believe in womens right to work, vote, hold office, divorce, and pretty much everything else their special interests groups so adamantly purport.
I do not see how my rights as a woman are endangered by my submission to my husband. A marriage is not an extension of the government or public. It is (as larsen1018 says) my choice. I do not believe that the law should force me to submit...Its a gift I give to my husband of my own free will.
I am a woman who has chosen to give herself unreservedly to a man she deemed worthy of her trust. I am a woman who decided that her marriage is her number one priority. I have not betrayed my liberty or equality. I have equal rights and I'm glad of it.
Let me clarify that although I believe I should have equal rights, I do not think I am equal to my husband. He is not better than I. I am not better then he. Man does not equal woman. We are very different, both physically and psychologically. We have different strengths and weaknesses. We complement one another when we embrace our differences. If I tried to be like him, or he tried to be like me, our interests and desires would clash.
I do not understand this striving I see in some women to be equal to men. They seem to feel a constant pressure to be prove that they can do anything a man can do and better. Their personal and business lives are a constant ******* contest. I find it ridiculous. Why not embrace your femininity instead of constantly hiding behind a facade of equality or superiority. Men and women are not equal. They are totally different and in many ways opposite. Why go against nature and try to to be like the other? It is rather like a bird trying to be like a fish. Neither species are better then the other. One is not less then the other. They are simply different. Men should honor and value women for their differences just as women should value and honor the differences in men. If both sex valued the other and did not try to claim they are inherently superior because of their different characteristics, then I believe we would all be much happier and content with ourselves.
I am content to be a woman. And as a woman I find that I am deeply satisfied, unspeakably joyful, and fully content with my decision to be under my husbands authority. I love being a woman. I love the feeling of protection, and belonging. I love knowing I have a good man I can turn too. I am also a strong woman. I support my husband in any situation. He knows he can turn to me and I am strong when he falters as he is strong for me. Isn't this what marriage is all about? It is not a power struggle, or a contest. Both of us give all we can to the other. And I choose to give him my submission. Because I feel fulfilled, and content knowing I can trust him so completely. My husband makes me feel like a strong, beautiful and treasured woman. I embrace this. How is this betraying womens rights?
hannah24 hannah24 22-25, F 14 Responses Feb 11, 2011

Your Response


I don't know that I agree in submitting completely as I bring a balance to a relationship in my views, experiences and with my own wisdoms. But I would like to think that my opinions will be heard and considered when decisions need to be made. I do like a man who takes charge though. I like a man who might "boss" me in the bedroom and be clear about his expectations of me as his wife and gently reinforce them. I need structure and a good kind man who can help provide that for me. I also like to help my man feel like a MAN. Meaning in charge, strong and competent. I can interject my thoughts and opinions respectfully. I don't like the idea of running ruff shod over my man. Not sexy. Hot? A man who knows what he wants, tells his woman what it is and respectfully and lovingly rewards her for her devotion and "submission". I want my man to look at me and say "come here" in his deep sexy voice and tell me what he wants me to do in the bedroom so I can please him. Cruelty, minimizing and disrespecting the honor of her "submission" is a mistake. I want to feel like a woman and I want him to feel like a man. Even if I am bossing him in the bedroom... because he likes that too sometimes. :-)

Well said! What do you think of domestic discipline? I am having a discussion about my story

Equality and uniqueness are not mutually exclusive. One can be different from one's partner, or (in your example) men can be different from women, and still be equal or unequal. If you choose to submit to your partner, do so at your own peril. Of all the human rights which nefarious governments and individuals have taken or trampled, the right and freedom to be all of who you are without submitting to another -- usually contributes immensely to happiness, growth and well-being. For you, apparently not. May you have peace.

I too submit to my husband and for the same reasons.I have now for a long time.We have been married 20 years and I made the decision to submit fully to him after the first 2 years.He proved he could control his emotions (where I could not) and provide for our family even when there was very little to work with.He was very respectful of me and deserving of his role.I trust and love this man with every fiber of my being and whole heartedly give myself and full control over to him,as I know he would never make a decision that would bring harm to us,our children,or our relationship.Also this is as God intended it to be.Yet its not for all men some act foolishly about things like this and go over board.I believe it is for the real men out there who use their heads first and their fist never.

You are a wise and wonderful person. Amen to everything you said in your story. To find such wisdom grace and intelligence from someone of your age is truly rare. Your husband is a very lucky man.

I found myself nodding in utter agreement while reading both this & your previous post on the subject. I might have written these words myself <3

DANG IT, HANNAH!! Where were you when I was single?

Do you have a sister? LOL

Seriously, I love your outlook and totally, totally agree one gazzillion percent. You're a real jewel.

Beautifully written and I only wish I could express my thoughts so well. Why I agree with you is this is a choose you have made, all factors considered. However most women are not so lucky.

Haha!! Thanks for the laugh eating birds lol!

Thanks everyone for your nice comments...I appreciate it.

I really thought this was well put, too. In my opinion, it is how you both decided to communicate with each other as husband and wife in your relationship, yet not how you choose to communicate with the entire world and its viewpoints.

I do have comment to make regarding your bird & fish comment. I think birds are much better than fish, as how many fish do you see eating birds? Yikes....that was a foul statement!

Actually, I loved it all! Thank you for taking your time to reflect and write about how we live our lives is NOT how we should be judged for our beliefs and voicing our opinions about current social situations and that have nothing to do with our personal lives.


That was one of the best written essays that I have ever had the pleasure to read. Just because you choose to submit to your husband does not mean that you have lost any intelligence or the ability to defend a position you believe in in a passionate, but classy manner.

BTW I like a woman's nails done too. It's one of the first things I notice on a woman.

finding the same comfort is a glad thing to see and liking the same comfort is a further glad thing to give and removing comfort is not so glad

Very beautifully said. I agree, the rights should be there for any woman to really choose what she wants, and it should be accepted if she chooses the path women like us have. REAL equal rights mean that a man can choose to stay home with the kids, or the woman can, and either can be in the workforce as well. That being said, my husband's a lousy cook, can't keep track of bills and spending, and lacks the intuition with our son that I have. Likewise, I suck at heavy lifting, have a crappy reach, and get mousy when someone tries to take advantage of me. That's why we're there for each other.

I'm glad you and your husband have found the same comfort.

You have said this quite eloquently. I could not agree more with you and what a great contribution and thanks for sharing your story it is so great of you to do this. I hope you and your husband have a great week.

Peace and Love