I Believe In Obeying My Husband Completely

There can only be one captian and I don't want to be it. My husband deserves my respect and devotion. It's nice to know there are other woman who Share this value.
QuestionMarks QuestionMarks
41-45, F
25 Responses Apr 6, 2011

if that is your choices then no one should have any problem

I'm sorry but I disagree .. if I can't walk beside someone I'm certainly not going to walk behind them

I can totally believe that as they are both determined to live to their rules ... what I question are the rules themselves ... to me it's like giving up all your freedoms to live in bondage

Then i think i need you


its not about that, its about being EQUAL in a relationship & respecting each other, not being a slave or doormat for someone

Not only is the Husband to be obeyed, but I believe his authority extends to nonconsensual spanking when we women fail to honor that part of our vows.

i think any woman who lets her husbnd boss her around and hits her with maintenance spankings are really stupid. god does not ordain that men hit and control their wives . remember christ said for men to love their wives like christ loved church. anyone who hits their spouse is breaking the law and is out of their mind.

I agree 100 percent! Ridiculous.

Woman was made from Adam's rib, which means that a man and a woman should stand side by side. Supporting one another throughout their lives as man and wife. A man must cherish his wife as a woman cherishes her husband.

I like it, short, sweet, and to the point.

It really is nice to have others to share with isn't it?:-) Feeling alone in a belief or life choice is always hard so it's nice to finally find others to share with. Thank you for sharing:-)

And it makes me sad that these types of posts always seem to cause a never ending trail of debate or outright name calling and put downs. I hope you keep posting anyway because there really are some of us on EP that really do want to connect with other like minded people.

we don't live in the time of dark ages where there were serfs and kings. A marriage is the beginning blend of two lives. Not, your a boss am not willing to be responsible adult. No one should have absolute control and power in any form it leaves to total corruption. Grown up and accept your responsibility in this marriage you must make decisions too. IN Christ there is neither male nor female.

Very well put!! I wanted to say amen to your post!

Agreed! Thank you Michelle for this great answer.

Here here. I just wish the feminists took notice of the beneficial and mutual relationship this is. Unfortunately, they all want to be men.

I think a lot of people misunderstand what this all means ,when I married my husband we chose to have the traditional vows read and I was quite happy to say that I would obey him as he would cherish and love me and I wouldn't take one word of that back either. My husband and I have a very strong and happy,healthy marriage...people assume that obeying your husband means your abused and treated like a dog while your husband is spoiled rotten....is my husband spoiled? absolutely! Am I a cherished wife and treated like a queen? without doubt ! <br />
But this is much deeper then making sure your husband always has his favourite foods and a clean house.this is about respect in the true sense of the word..Respect denotes both a positive feeling of esteem for a person also specific actions and conduct representative of that esteem. Respect can be a specific feeling of regard for the actual qualities of the one respected.<br />
I truly believe the words in my vows just as much now as I did when we shared them.<br />
My kids don't see my being yelled or screamed at, they don't see me being hit or belittled.what they do see is a very loving relationship where there is lots of laughter and affection and respect.<br />
I have friends that when issues arise in their marriage they are afraid to talk to their husbands! Im sorry thats not the marriage I want.I will keep being cherished and loved and respected and I will keep following my husband as Im proud to say its my rightful place...thankyou Mrs.tosello

You said everything perfectly. That is exactly what this group is about how I view my relationship as well. Ty for a great comment.

Your very welcome.I'm so happy there are others who also share the type of marriage we have,for me this is the only way a marriage can really work,and I get really sick of comments implying that I'm a door mat or abused or other absurd comments like that.my husband has never even raised his voice to me.Further more I love taking care of my husband he's my best friend and the only person who really gets me and knows me and I know that he was made just for me

We sound so much alike in this regard. The sad part for me is I now work outside the home since my daughter grew up. And I don't get to spend as much time anymore. My whole identity is my family ( which was always a good thing!).

a loving gift to your one true love.....obiedience is an extension of trust and it takes a very strong woman to suppress her stronger opinions and allow his desires to be made the prominance of the relationship. I love him so much that his desires are my priority.

i think the ppl who have left negative comments have got the wrong end of the stick <br />
by giving complete control to her man i think in my opinion she means making sure his choice of dinner is on the table at the right time making sure she looks nice for him attending parties looking glam so it pleases him and also makes her feel good when ppl turn to look at her<br />
i really dont think she means if his bath isnt the right temprature she gets a stick and lays down on his knee lol Best of luck !

Ok SOSASSYFORYOU, instead of making personal judgements about redshoes6 and giving totally pointless advice like "get educated" how about you get a bit more specific. Educate me, I'm listening! I'm really curious... <br />
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Unfortunately, sometimes my husband and I do not agree on everything. That's the way it is. But who is to say that he's right (because he's a MAN) and that I should obey his every wish? Where do you draw the line? <br />
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Example: We are about to fence the yard. I have a pretty good idea of where the boundaries should be, with respect to aesthetics, access, and safety for my child. My husband has a better understanding of the practicalities of such an exercise, but honestly, the man has absolutely no idea about WHAT LOOKS GOOD!!! Should I pander to his big old ego and let him do what he thinks is best, while I sit by like the good little lady and let him make a mistake? <br />
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punchingbag3, I'm sorry you feel like... er... a punchingbag, but HONESTLY, it sounds like you are assuming that what you want is the right way and the only way it should be. "She should want it because I want it" and that should be enough for her. Well no, I am sorry, it is NOT enough for a woman just to see her husband pursuing his dreams - we have dreams too, ya know.

Well in your example a good husband would consider the wife's perspective, not dismiss it. The man is to cherish the wife but he makes the ultimate decisions. The man has to want this type of marriage too and obedience and trust in him strengthens him so he can lead like this.

I know that Men are not turned off by a Woman who gives Herself to Him completely and obeys Her Man ... having a Woman who wants to be your slave is the most awesome relationship in the world ... don't knock it untill You try it ...

hahahahahaha antonio ur so sweet its un real u know ur gona get knocked for ur comment but u still wrote it anyway

i really like ur words Duana . Thums up for u

Thank you. I love this group. It's my favorite group of people on AP and I just wish there was a way to make groups more interactive and daily.

Wow!<br />
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What woman would LIKE her new husband to have **** mags in his presence......if you dont get that, well there seems to be no hope for the Venus-Mars pairing<br />
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The reason your wife read romantic novels was probably because your were not ROMANTIC enough for her....<br />
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....seems pretty obvious to me?<br />
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Get educated girl... you have no experience

I have 25 years of complete happiness with my husband- that's all the experience I need.

There are groups out there for you misandric types. Please go there. We won't follow. This woman knows what benefits there are in a male lead relationship. She is expressing her happiness. Please take your hateful BS comments to another group.

Amen. Ty.

1 More Response

Matthew, I truly believe that if I did have a seminar, she wouldn't attend. I heard Dear Abby say one time: "A mind convinced against its will is of the same opinion still." I really hate it for you that you have the same problem with your wife that I had. I also very much think that this is a MAJOR problem in our modern culture. <br />
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I hate to say this but even MY wife didn't make me go 800 days without sex. But here's the thing. If your wife kicks you to the curb and THEN, after the divorce, she sees you with a younger and much more attractive girl, she'll tell EVERYBODY all about your "mid life crisis." <br />
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OOOOHHHHH PLEASE!! GIVE ME A BREAK!! She's just jealous and she's putting all the blame on you because she's not about to ever admit that SHE ROYAL SCREWED UP!! <br />
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Hey listen up girls. Men do NOT have mid-life crises!! We are still healthy, vibrant, funny, witty and certainly attractive enough to garner the attention of younger women and we have the maturity level that the younger women cannot find among men their age. We are caring, nurturing, cuddling and tender in a way that young men simply have not yet learned. Give them time and they will but for now, many, many younger girls want what they're not getting from younger men. And trust me. When you see a mid 50s guy driving a new Corvette, it's a good chance his wife left and HE'S FREE TO DRIVE WHAT HE WOULD'VE BEEN DRIVING IF HE HADN'T GIVEN IT ALL UP FOR THE FAMILY AND HER!! That's not a mid life crisis. That's a man who's just been let out of the gate like a race horse. <br />
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While I was typing that previous paragraph, I had a thought and here it is. <br />
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When I got married to my wife, way back in the 80s, I had a modest stack of Playboy and Penthouse magazines. When my new blushing bride found them, she was very hurt. I didn't really understand why at the time, but I glady through them in the trash for the benefit of my new marriage. After I thought about it some, I decided that there was a certain risk to a marriage in looking at ***********. That's because the danger was that the ***** might make me start expecting something from our sexlife that it was not capable of producing. Maybe something totally unrealistic or that maybe I was missing something from my wife that was needed to be able to call the sex good. I could see that I could develop cravings that would only lead to unhappiness if my wife did not also share those same cravings..... which I figured was a pretty sure bet. So I didn't lose any sleep over tossing the magazines and I never brought ***** into the house ever again. <br />
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Later I came to realize that, while I tossed my ***** mags, my wife did NOT toss her romance novels. And to a woman, a romance novel is just as dangerous as ***** to a marriage. My wife has had her head wrapped in one romance novel or another for the entire 24 years we were married. HELL, no wonder she was never happy with me. I've always been a real person - one that could not meet up to her unrealistic fantasy. I truly believe that a large part of the problem with our marriage was that my wife had totally unreasonable expectations because of her reading these fictional stories. <br />
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I'd like some feedback on that one. Tell me, guys, what do you think?

Amen. Yes, romance novels are to women what ***** is to men. That's a brilliant analysis. You sound like a great guy.

Duana, you go girl!! I personally very much appreciate your attitude. To me, you're saying that you're willing to be self sacrificing for the greater need. That is exactly my feeling as well. If you have 2 people in a relationship with that very same attitude, I think it's destined for success.<br />
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Julialynn- you are SO wrong! I would LOVE to have a woman that obeys me. I would take care of her and cherish her and dote on her and romance her forever and ever. You girls do not get it! When you work with your man, you tell him that he is very loved. Hearing you say the words does NOT get it with us guys. We need it to be shown. Every time you go your OWN way and do not follow our lead, you tell us that you do not love us. You tell us that your own life is more important and that what we're trying to do for you and the family is unimportant to you. Don't be that way. There is no better way to do tell your man that you love him than by supporting your man. And this includes OBEYING him. And trust me on this. If your man makes a mistake and screws up, he'll work very hard to fix it if you only do NOT tear him down for it. <br />
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Please indulge me and let me give you a little insight on the male mind and how it works.And I will preface this by saying that there are a lot of men out there that are just worthless. But most of us are genuine and very good people. We try very hard to please and we work very hard for the long term. We are planners. We are dreamers. But we put our dreams into action. We work for them. We invision how we want to have our lives and the lives of our families turn out and we start to work right from the very start of our marriages. When life throws us curve balls, we make adjustments and keep going. There are times when working the plans laid out involve taking risks. My wife has never been a risk taker. And I've yet to meet a woman that really is. I'm sure they exist, I just haven't met them. My wife has always insisted that we take the safe course right here and right now! <br />
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For example, I never went to college. But she understood that, for me to go to college, we would have to go through some poverty. She has always pushed me to get a job because she's been unwilling to live the really tight, thrifty, penny pinching existence that we would have to tolerate for several years. As a result, she's shot us in the foot because I didn't have the job skills to offer in this changing economy and I've never been able to hold a job that ever really paid the kind of money that we needed to get her the things that SHE wanted. But I was faced with either giving in to her fears and staying in low paying or seasonal jobs, or going to college without her blessing. And I knew that if I did that, we'd experience even more of an austere lifestyle but only for a few years. I also knew that, without her blessing, college would be pure hell because she would fight me every step of the way. I understand that many women think that this would giving away their power. I also agree that there needs to be a balance. But if the balance can NOT be maintained, and the distribution of power has to swing one way or the other, the marriage will survive much easier if it's the woman who turns the power over to the husband. If nothing else, I absolutely guarrantee that he will feel loved. BTW, my wife tied my hands on every project I ever tried. She shot my dreams down like clay pidgeons. She always blamed her life not turning out how she had envisioned on me. She treated me like I was a stupid teenager who had no clue what life was all about and that SHE would guide me through my life if I would only just let her be the boss. This caused me to struggle with years of depression and therapy. That's why my nickname here is "punchingbag." That's what I as to her. Finally, she walked out because she was convinced that all of her problems were due to her being stuck with me. She never once ever imagined that her refusing to follow my lead had anything to do with our barely making ends meet. I'm not surprised. She was never a team pla<x>yer. <br />
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Now that she's gone, I'm pursuing a BA in Spanish. After that, I go to Vanderbilt for my Masters and Doctorate. I'm having more fun than ever before just studying. My life has changed so much because I'm back in control. My dreams of being a College Spanish Professor are within grasp. My depression is completely gone. I'm 55 years old and I feel like I'm 20 and starting out brand new. The only friction in my life right now is that I'm really, really broke. But it's no worse than when I was married. Pell grants and Stafford loans are getting me through. For the greater good, I have no problem dealing with not having any money to speak of. If I miss one thing, I miss having a good woman to share this with. But from my very pragmatic perspective, I'd rather do without any woman in my life than to take a risk getting involved with a woman who won't support what I'm trying to do.

This implies the woman is n'nt going to contribute anything.

I mean final decision.

I would never give my power over to anyone. how must it be for sons and daughters<br />
to witness this total imbalance between their parents<br />
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women are very powerful creatures...why hand over such a precious gift.....<br />
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...to anyone?<br />
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Dear Redshoes, I really don't think you know anything about this topic. Only strong women can be submissive women, this relationship is not for weak, insecure women. Please educate yourself prior to making such uneducated statements.

I have been married now 23 years and loving it- we fall in love with every new day.

i am really happy to see someone very positive ..Everybody have their own problems and so do I.I live in a lifeless marriage,my husband recently had an affair with a lady ,which was to the extent of leaving me with a newly born baby.I surviving for a year now .But sometimes it really hurts i just want the life to be normal ,dont know the reason behind his ex-maritial affair for he is not willing to speak it up.But he promised me that he would not allow such kind of things to happen in our life again.He is not physically close with me since a year and a half,this sometimes allow my thought's to be suspicious on him.Not only that he manages to keep secret's from me like friends,email id,social networking sites ,dating sites etc, n still being close as friends but not intimately...i dont have anybody to share this ..i need your help..i dont want to question him directly since it would worsen the issue.u can also email me to 4evernostalgic@gmail.com..If anybody is experiencing the same please share what u have done to bring your life back..regards

I agree Duana, The key is to find a great balance, which is hard to do. You can be submissive and forceful at the same time. The man is King of his castle and that man needs a Great Queen. It can be done wish you the best, It is really nice to submit and be rocked...amazing actually. Good Luck :) OXOXO

that is so sweet but unfortuately, it turns men off and makes them think you are weak. Within a few months after he sees your slavery, he will be rockin a woman in the bed who is a challenge. Sorry baby. That is life.