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I Am His,he Is Mine,and Together We Are One

Long before my husband and I got married it was well established in our relationship what was expected and what our roles were to be so,when we decided to get married it was never a question for me as to what vows we would have read.I chose the traditional vows.why? because I truly believe in those words,People assume it means your controlled or abused by your husband or your not allowed to have your own opinion and that your pretty much just a door mat..Yes I chose to honor and obey my husband,I trust my husband that he will not abuse this gift I've given him.
Along with traditional vows we also wrote our own to each other and in my husbands vows he said to me....I promise to respect you and your own interests,desires,and needs,and to realize that although sometimes different, they are no less important that my own.
Its a huge misunderstanding that honoring  and submitting to your husband means being abused and disrespected and it  really doesn't mean domination or complete obedience either.
what it really means is a complete trust,respect and love among a marriage that the 2 have to work as one entity with love and mutual respect.in any covenant there  is an agreement not a  dominated controlled environment..
the Bible clearly states...Husbands love your wives and do not be harsh with them.the wife is the husbands crown and in order to grow he must  protect and take care of her and nurture her.
husbands should not just be a 'lover' but should be totally self-sacrificing for their wives and never ask them to do something that they would not do anyway to please him.
ktosello ktosello 36-40, F 8 Responses Oct 21, 2011

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I appreciate your attitude and thoughtfulness. I especially like your line " the husband should be totally self-sacrificing".

My relationship is the inverse. My wife is the head of the household. I obey her. She loves, respects and cares for me. I wrote "Rules for Husbands" that I wish more men would follow and that more women would demand.

I always look to invite conversation and always hope that others...and I... can see things anew.

I respect all well considered, thought out positions.

Right on! Love and mutual respect make this work. Love doesn't mean always saying 'yes'; it means taht 'no' is a carefully considered, rarely used word of last resort.

Respect! What a wonderful foundation to build on!

Yes this is an awesome story! I agree with you 100%...

I think people read to much into the vows word for word, its about what them mean to the couple...

People are way to judgemental these days!!!

Thank you for sharing this splendid testimony to the sanctity of marriage and solemnity of vows between a husband and wife. I share your views entirely and have found that contained within the sacrament are all the graces necessary to fulfil the duties of your state in life. I will always be happy to love, honour and obey.

Your story is very uncommon for this day and age! But, I am so very glad to hear that you are a woman of honor and courage who has enough fortitude to share with us the time honored tradition of matrimony and true love. God bless you and your husband and I hope your lives fit the saying," happily ever after!".... : )

Thankyou Eugenethemagicaljeep, My Husband and I had our vows printed and signed by our pastor the day we got married,we framed them.I keep his on my side of the bed on my headboard and I read them often.My husband keeps the vows I wrote him on his side of the bed....thanks for your comment and God bless you

Thank you for you kind words! What God has joined, let no man work toward a separation.

This is the Christmas season and I pray that you and yours enjoy the fullness of God's blessings.

Thankyou...and yes it is nice to find others who share the same belief

I feel the same way you do. It is always good to find others with a common belief.

yes Ell564 it absolutely is awesome to find others with a same belief ! Often I've felt like the odd ball for what others believe is a more traditional marriage....it seems to me when people try to change things that's what bad things start to happen. I find in this day and age there are far to many people that don't take marriage seriously and don't seem to think much of divorce either