Experience Project iOS Android Apps | Download EP for your Mobile Device

I Love My Husband Being In Charge

  So many women have this backward thinking that women who allow their husbands to be the head of the household are somehow weak.  Wrong-It takes alot of strength to stand by someone's side and support them no matter what. 


 It's not like my husband just makes decisions without consulting me.  He loves me and wants to know what my thoughts are on issues....but we have peace and harmony in our marriage because he knows I will stand by his side and support his decisions regardless of what they may be.

This is the way marriages had been for centuries - and people stayed married.  Now women 'wear the pants' in their marriages and they wonder where all the "real men" are and why divorce in so high.  Feminists have ******** men of being men - strong and in control.  

Do some men abuse the "power" -of course.  But most men I feel are not that type...most men want to be in charge - with their wife's help and support in their journey.  There can't be two presidents in a country - but there can be a president and vice president.  

I am not inferior to my husband,  I just have a different role in the marriage.  Husbands can be loving and protective of a wife who is supportive and strong by his side.  On the other hand, when wives start acting like the leader of the family - it emasculates him.  He may act childish, immature, unreliable, and may treat you more like one of his buddies ( or alot of times his enemy) instead of his soft beautiful wife.  Husbands don't want to compete in their own homes. 

Men and women are attracted to the things that make each sex different from each wives need to stop acting like the man of the house.   

biblesex biblesex 26-30, F 46 Responses Oct 24, 2008

Your Response


Although I can see your viewpoint, I cannot say that I would support a man no matter what his decision was. I would still love him, but I would not go along with something if I felt it was wrong.

I wish more women felt this way.

I agree 110% with you. Wish you and your husband all the best and a lifetime of happiness :)

I believe it has to be 100% both ways. Total commitment from to each other.

I 100% totally agree with you. I love that I am able to be feminine and enjoy being a woman without the added stress of also having to 'be the man'. Kudos to you for being strong enough to embrace your feminine nature and love yourself and your man enough to do this!

I couldnt agree more and I'm not even married.

It's all well and good to live that way - and honestly I did for many many years despite not getting anything in return - NOTHING - not one thing I asked for nicely, brought up in counseling - now I am removed from the marriage mentally, physically (by his choice) and every other way. If the husband does does not want to lead OR meet your needs there is nothing you can do about it - and honestly? God makes no guarantee if you are a godly wife you will end up with a godly husband. I have one foot out the door and I don't regret it - I only regret spending twenty some years with someone who chooses his capability level by refusing to change.

Dear Biblesex,<br />
<br />
I have just read your story and was impressed by your commitment to both your husband and your belief in God.<br />
<br />
You must know that there will be others who would not agree with your beliefs, but I tell you, persevere and know that there is a God above who loves you and understands your trials.<br />
<br />
As Christmas is upon I us I pray that you have an awesome holiday and God bless you and your family.<br />
<br />
Love, <br />
<br />

AniaSkibinski said in an experience about how women detest men who think women are inferior in a story under that experience by a man who agrees with the umbrella heading of the experience: on May 10th, 2011 at 12:55PM<br />
<br />
"Then act upon these feelings by discovering your feminineness as every man needs to embrace this side of their being. search for women who would appreciate this and are willing to guide you in accepting that they are in fact superior. Women have been forced to cater to men for thousands of years now, it's time for change and you sound as if you already understand this. If you decided to get married suggest that you take her last name and will obey her as she wishes to remake and reprogram you into the new male model of obedience, if you are already in a relationship or married ask that superior female to take her place as your superior and serve her accordingly. If you answer to your feelings in this manner than you have done something of great value."<br />
<br />
They reject the Bible not because it is wrong but because they want to be the ones who are "superior" and other women in that other experience also indicated they agreed with the "female superiority", idea.

Well said

I agree. I love my husband to be in charge. There are times when the roles reverse, like when he needs a plaster on a cut!!! But generally, I need him to be the prize so that I never feel like disrespecting him. Because disrespect is what kills feelings in me for my man.

The Bible is a bullshit book written by men who only wanted to keep women in a safe place. Don't criticize those of us who have the brains not to buy into that bull.

Umm if you read the article the author does not mention the Bible or a religion of any kind.

So many bitter people;<br />
And so little time. . .<br />
<br />
Good for you biblesex; I join with the chorus of christian men who are envious and supportive of your relationship. Some women have no idea how great a loving respectful relationship can be; perhaps because there are so few of them in our society today. I suspect amongst the primary motive for your lifestyle is your desire to follow a biblical template for a traditional family. <br />
That being said; greed and selfishness in a lost world make this an undoable concept to many.

Awesome story, and I would love to think that followers of this process will be able to work things out where both husband and wife respect each other, rather than battle each other for control.

There is strength in submission. To humbly follow his leadership, fulfilling his requests, and lovingly seeking his guidence in decisions shows strength of character, and strong control over your own will, and a commitment to the marriage by showing that your own willfullness is not going to get in the way of a strong committed long term marriage. Mine is 15 years and going strong, and I have followed the examples shown in my own family where my grands went 50+ years, my parents are currently at 44 years of beautifully demonstrated submission.

not all men who are strong and in control are sweet but in that case you don't marry him. being the head of the house hold really ends up being you making sacrifices not bossing everyone around. I am the head of my home and i am given far more orders than i am given. she knows i am the head and expects me to do it. although i do sometimes assert myself just to remind her who is in charge but i think it is a comfort to her to know that i can handle her.

Thanks for all of your thoughts and comments...all I have to say is, it's been 2 1/2 yrs. since I posted this and my marriage honestly gets better every day. Not that we don't have our moments, but God knew what He was doing when He tried to tell us how to have a successful marriage. In response to Ania...actually the Bible verse you speak of doesn't exist....actually the bible describes finding a good wife as being worth more than rubies and that in finding a good wife, a man finds favor in the lord. I think that is a great compliment to us women:)<br />
<br />
To those who condemn God's teachings.....I always find it ironic that you are also a part of groups such as those dealing with you wanting to have affairs, or sexless marriages, etc.......maybe there is a connection?

I could never have a problem with anyone who believes in Christ, now you and your husband decide to manage your marriage is your business, and no one should put you down for it. <br />
<br />
There is a place in the Bible that basically says "a good man is hard to find, but a good women is impossible to find" . How do women get theirs hands around this. Would you raise your daughter or son to believe that?<br />
<br />
Christ never spoke these words as he never confirmed so much of the Bible. The Bible is a incomplete text as so much has been left out. Every Religion I have studied suppress the value of woman and puts them a role of being second a sub-servant role. In my opinion women who choose to have more control over their own life's are correct in doing so. No one can look out for your interest better than yourself. Women are the bedrock of most family's taking primary care of the children. Men have abused the privilege of being in charge more times than not. Sounds like you have found a good man, if so you and him are very lucky. Sounds like your a reader so please look into reading The Second Sex. I believe very woman should read this highly intellectual work and give a copy to their daughters.along with a great book of Christ teachings. I believe region teaches women to accept this second class status and that is wrong. It's easy to have someone else tell us what to do as one never has to take full responsibly for there lives. I say this because my mother shared your view and at eighty nine read the copy of The Second Sex I gave her and told me upon completion she wished she had read it fifty years ago, it would have changed her life. She realizes she always just let my father lead and she followed without question and it was only after his death when she was sixty nine that she reflexed upon the fact she surrendered all her dreams as a young women in exchange for being the good Bible wife and regrets teaching my sisters to be good wifes and to obey their husbands. In the recent Royal Wedding Katheryn had the obey clause removed. Appears to be a smart young women. Please make sure you respect yourself enough to watch out for your dreams. God Bless

@sousoura, "bedroom duties?" Not a lot of warmth there. I do not pretend to know your story, but I am envious of biblesex. <br />
<br />
I would give everything to a wife that encourages me instead of constantly looking for fault and comparing me against the lawyer and surgeon up the street. BTW my wife stopped working 15 years ago. Her social-life is her main interest. Many men feel like walking ATMs.<br />
<br />
in 2011 do men and women need each other, no. They can have the most when they choose to be interdependent and inter-reliant.

My dear you obviously have a man that adheres to all family responsibilities with glee who loves to please you while you please him back.Not all of us are that fortunate because most men love the fact that we live in the21st century where women HAVE to be liberated and equal in salary and domestic commitments. I would love to be in your shoes all you need to worry about is him, cooking, ironing, cleaning,and last but not least bedroom duties. I take it you have no hassle of financial issues zooming through your head he must be in total control of everything. That would make any woman give up her day job to be a terrific obedient wife. Take it from me your the lucky one not him! its true Not all men who are Strong and in control are so sweet either!!

remember the movie "My Big Fat Greek Wedding"? what did the mother say? Man may be the head of the house..but woman is the neck... we know head sits on the neck...and neck turns the head.....;)

YOU SHOULD write a book or advise column! i read little bit of a book called "created to be his help meet" its not easy reading and doing.......but like you said..the results can be good. thank you.

Preach on. Thats so true. Most of the time when men slack off in their roles is because women decide to act as of they are head of the household. I am a woman and i want my man to be the man.

I agree 100% So long as you have a respectful, thoughful, and loving husband this is the way it should be :)

We're not religious in the organized sense. Yet we subscribe to the ethic of the man is the leader. Even the Koran states that the woman should kiss her man's feet, BUT the husband must deserve it.

Abandoned archangel you certainly resonated with biblesexes story. I have two comments to make on this subject. The first is that a lot of men give their power away and expect their wives to be these superhuman wonder women. The minute women went to work the traditional family roles broke down. And on that line is my second comment. I would dearly have loved to have been that sort of wife. I just never found a husband who was in a position to be able to let me be the stay at home wife taking care of me so i can take care of the family or knew how to treat me. When i did settle with a man 10 years ago and i took maternity leave i was put under such pressure by society NOT to have any more children, and to return to work, because i am a professional and professional women do not belong in the kitchen!!! I would willingly hang up my corporate coat and don an apron. BUT the fact the i bring in the lions share of the income and am therefore out of the house more puts the archetypal wife of which you speak out of my reach

Oh those "damn Feminist" and their right to vote. And their right to not be beat by their husbands. And their right to own property, even after their spouse is deceased. And their right to work if they want and or need to. And their right to decide whats appropriate with their own children. Damn those feminist for speaking their minds and not being jailed or worse for doing so.<br />
<br />
Pick up a history book please and read about all those fulfilled and happy women who had none of these rights, this is what marriage was like for centuries! The "good ole days" what good ole days? They were good for some but not for most!<br />
<br />
So when your husband decides your boring, and he decides is best for him and your marriage that he has a lil sum something on the side, You'll stand by that decision as well?

u understand this because u have doctrine resident in ur soul. Without doctrine people r blinded to reality. It's sad really.

u understand this because u have doctrine resident in ur soul. Without doctrine people r blinded to reality. It's sad really.

Amazing how many ob<x>jections and downright attacks there are on this idea of men dominating their women let alone totally dominating them and yet when women say they totally dominate their men and how 'whipped' their men are, all those screaming here about "equality' never have anything to say when women say it about their men.