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I Love My Husband Being In Charge

  So many women have this backward thinking that women who allow their husbands to be the head of the household are somehow weak.  Wrong-It takes alot of strength to stand by someone's side and support them no matter what. 

 

 It's not like my husband just makes decisions without consulting me.  He loves me and wants to know what my thoughts are on issues....but we have peace and harmony in our marriage because he knows I will stand by his side and support his decisions regardless of what they may be.

This is the way marriages had been for centuries - and people stayed married.  Now women 'wear the pants' in their marriages and they wonder where all the "real men" are and why divorce in so high.  Feminists have ******** men of being men - strong and in control.  

Do some men abuse the "power" -of course.  But most men I feel are not that type...most men want to be in charge - with their wife's help and support in their journey.  There can't be two presidents in a country - but there can be a president and vice president.  

I am not inferior to my husband,  I just have a different role in the marriage.  Husbands can be loving and protective of a wife who is supportive and strong by his side.  On the other hand, when wives start acting like the leader of the family - it emasculates him.  He may act childish, immature, unreliable, and may treat you more like one of his buddies ( or alot of times his enemy) instead of his soft beautiful wife.  Husbands don't want to compete in their own homes. 

Men and women are attracted to the things that make each sex different from each other.....so wives need to stop acting like the man of the house.   

biblesex biblesex 26-30, F 46 Responses Oct 24, 2008

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Although I can see your viewpoint, I cannot say that I would support a man no matter what his decision was. I would still love him, but I would not go along with something if I felt it was wrong.

I wish more women felt this way.

I agree 110% with you. Wish you and your husband all the best and a lifetime of happiness :)

I believe it has to be 100% both ways. Total commitment from to each other.

I 100% totally agree with you. I love that I am able to be feminine and enjoy being a woman without the added stress of also having to 'be the man'. Kudos to you for being strong enough to embrace your feminine nature and love yourself and your man enough to do this!

I couldnt agree more and I'm not even married.

It's all well and good to live that way - and honestly I did for many many years despite not getting anything in return - NOTHING - not one thing I asked for nicely, brought up in counseling - now I am removed from the marriage mentally, physically (by his choice) and every other way. If the husband does does not want to lead OR meet your needs there is nothing you can do about it - and honestly? God makes no guarantee if you are a godly wife you will end up with a godly husband. I have one foot out the door and I don't regret it - I only regret spending twenty some years with someone who chooses his capability level by refusing to change.

Dear Biblesex,<br />
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I have just read your story and was impressed by your commitment to both your husband and your belief in God.<br />
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You must know that there will be others who would not agree with your beliefs, but I tell you, persevere and know that there is a God above who loves you and understands your trials.<br />
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As Christmas is upon I us I pray that you have an awesome holiday and God bless you and your family.<br />
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Love, <br />
<br />
Eugenethemagicaljeep

AniaSkibinski said in an experience about how women detest men who think women are inferior in a story under that experience by a man who agrees with the umbrella heading of the experience: on May 10th, 2011 at 12:55PM<br />
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"Then act upon these feelings by discovering your feminineness as every man needs to embrace this side of their being. search for women who would appreciate this and are willing to guide you in accepting that they are in fact superior. Women have been forced to cater to men for thousands of years now, it's time for change and you sound as if you already understand this. If you decided to get married suggest that you take her last name and will obey her as she wishes to remake and reprogram you into the new male model of obedience, if you are already in a relationship or married ask that superior female to take her place as your superior and serve her accordingly. If you answer to your feelings in this manner than you have done something of great value."<br />
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They reject the Bible not because it is wrong but because they want to be the ones who are "superior" and other women in that other experience also indicated they agreed with the "female superiority", idea.

Well said

I agree. I love my husband to be in charge. There are times when the roles reverse, like when he needs a plaster on a cut!!! But generally, I need him to be the prize so that I never feel like disrespecting him. Because disrespect is what kills feelings in me for my man.

The Bible is a bullshit book written by men who only wanted to keep women in a safe place. Don't criticize those of us who have the brains not to buy into that bull.

Umm if you read the article the author does not mention the Bible or a religion of any kind.

So many bitter people;<br />
And so little time. . .<br />
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Good for you biblesex; I join with the chorus of christian men who are envious and supportive of your relationship. Some women have no idea how great a loving respectful relationship can be; perhaps because there are so few of them in our society today. I suspect amongst the primary motive for your lifestyle is your desire to follow a biblical template for a traditional family. <br />
That being said; greed and selfishness in a lost world make this an undoable concept to many.

Awesome story, and I would love to think that followers of this process will be able to work things out where both husband and wife respect each other, rather than battle each other for control.

There is strength in submission. To humbly follow his leadership, fulfilling his requests, and lovingly seeking his guidence in decisions shows strength of character, and strong control over your own will, and a commitment to the marriage by showing that your own willfullness is not going to get in the way of a strong committed long term marriage. Mine is 15 years and going strong, and I have followed the examples shown in my own family where my grands went 50+ years, my parents are currently at 44 years of beautifully demonstrated submission.

not all men who are strong and in control are sweet but in that case you don't marry him. being the head of the house hold really ends up being you making sacrifices not bossing everyone around. I am the head of my home and i am given far more orders than i am given. she knows i am the head and expects me to do it. although i do sometimes assert myself just to remind her who is in charge but i think it is a comfort to her to know that i can handle her.

Thanks for all of your thoughts and comments...all I have to say is, it's been 2 1/2 yrs. since I posted this and my marriage honestly gets better every day. Not that we don't have our moments, but God knew what He was doing when He tried to tell us how to have a successful marriage. In response to Ania...actually the Bible verse you speak of doesn't exist....actually the bible describes finding a good wife as being worth more than rubies and that in finding a good wife, a man finds favor in the lord. I think that is a great compliment to us women:)<br />
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To those who condemn God's teachings.....I always find it ironic that you are also a part of groups such as those dealing with you wanting to have affairs, or sexless marriages, etc.......maybe there is a connection?

I could never have a problem with anyone who believes in Christ, now you and your husband decide to manage your marriage is your business, and no one should put you down for it. <br />
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There is a place in the Bible that basically says "a good man is hard to find, but a good women is impossible to find" . How do women get theirs hands around this. Would you raise your daughter or son to believe that?<br />
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Christ never spoke these words as he never confirmed so much of the Bible. The Bible is a incomplete text as so much has been left out. Every Religion I have studied suppress the value of woman and puts them a role of being second a sub-servant role. In my opinion women who choose to have more control over their own life's are correct in doing so. No one can look out for your interest better than yourself. Women are the bedrock of most family's taking primary care of the children. Men have abused the privilege of being in charge more times than not. Sounds like you have found a good man, if so you and him are very lucky. Sounds like your a reader so please look into reading The Second Sex. I believe very woman should read this highly intellectual work and give a copy to their daughters.along with a great book of Christ teachings. I believe region teaches women to accept this second class status and that is wrong. It's easy to have someone else tell us what to do as one never has to take full responsibly for there lives. I say this because my mother shared your view and at eighty nine read the copy of The Second Sex I gave her and told me upon completion she wished she had read it fifty years ago, it would have changed her life. She realizes she always just let my father lead and she followed without question and it was only after his death when she was sixty nine that she reflexed upon the fact she surrendered all her dreams as a young women in exchange for being the good Bible wife and regrets teaching my sisters to be good wifes and to obey their husbands. In the recent Royal Wedding Katheryn had the obey clause removed. Appears to be a smart young women. Please make sure you respect yourself enough to watch out for your dreams. God Bless

@sousoura, "bedroom duties?" Not a lot of warmth there. I do not pretend to know your story, but I am envious of biblesex. <br />
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I would give everything to a wife that encourages me instead of constantly looking for fault and comparing me against the lawyer and surgeon up the street. BTW my wife stopped working 15 years ago. Her social-life is her main interest. Many men feel like walking ATMs.<br />
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in 2011 do men and women need each other, no. They can have the most when they choose to be interdependent and inter-reliant.

My dear you obviously have a man that adheres to all family responsibilities with glee who loves to please you while you please him back.Not all of us are that fortunate because most men love the fact that we live in the21st century where women HAVE to be liberated and equal in salary and domestic commitments. I would love to be in your shoes all you need to worry about is him, cooking, ironing, cleaning,and last but not least bedroom duties. I take it you have no hassle of financial issues zooming through your head he must be in total control of everything. That would make any woman give up her day job to be a terrific obedient wife. Take it from me your the lucky one not him! its true Not all men who are Strong and in control are so sweet either!!

remember the movie "My Big Fat Greek Wedding"? what did the mother say? Man may be the head of the house..but woman is the neck... we know head sits on the neck...and neck turns the head.....;)

YOU SHOULD write a book or advise column! i read little bit of a book called "created to be his help meet" its not easy reading and doing.......but like you said..the results can be good. thank you.

Preach on. Thats so true. Most of the time when men slack off in their roles is because women decide to act as of they are head of the household. I am a woman and i want my man to be the man.

I agree 100% So long as you have a respectful, thoughful, and loving husband this is the way it should be :)

We're not religious in the organized sense. Yet we subscribe to the ethic of the man is the leader. Even the Koran states that the woman should kiss her man's feet, BUT the husband must deserve it.

Abandoned archangel you certainly resonated with biblesexes story. I have two comments to make on this subject. The first is that a lot of men give their power away and expect their wives to be these superhuman wonder women. The minute women went to work the traditional family roles broke down. And on that line is my second comment. I would dearly have loved to have been that sort of wife. I just never found a husband who was in a position to be able to let me be the stay at home wife taking care of me so i can take care of the family or knew how to treat me. When i did settle with a man 10 years ago and i took maternity leave i was put under such pressure by society NOT to have any more children, and to return to work, because i am a professional and professional women do not belong in the kitchen!!! I would willingly hang up my corporate coat and don an apron. BUT the fact the i bring in the lions share of the income and am therefore out of the house more puts the archetypal wife of which you speak out of my reach

Oh those "damn Feminist" and their right to vote. And their right to not be beat by their husbands. And their right to own property, even after their spouse is deceased. And their right to work if they want and or need to. And their right to decide whats appropriate with their own children. Damn those feminist for speaking their minds and not being jailed or worse for doing so.<br />
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Pick up a history book please and read about all those fulfilled and happy women who had none of these rights, this is what marriage was like for centuries! The "good ole days" what good ole days? They were good for some but not for most!<br />
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So when your husband decides your boring, and he decides is best for him and your marriage that he has a lil sum something on the side, You'll stand by that decision as well?

u understand this because u have doctrine resident in ur soul. Without doctrine people r blinded to reality. It's sad really.

u understand this because u have doctrine resident in ur soul. Without doctrine people r blinded to reality. It's sad really.

Amazing how many ob<x>jections and downright attacks there are on this idea of men dominating their women let alone totally dominating them and yet when women say they totally dominate their men and how 'whipped' their men are, all those screaming here about "equality' never have anything to say when women say it about their men.

Hey, as long as your happy, that is all that matters. as long as it is working for you, that is all that matters. As long as the relationship is mutually beneficially, and respectful, which is what you seem to be describing, then thats all that matters. Congrats on such a happy marriage!<br />
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The "wearing of the pants" well, thats a personal issue. To each their own. Some men like a strong woman, and like to simplicity of obeying completely, and some woman like playing that role. Who cares..<br />
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As long as no one is getting hurt. It only becomes of a problem when there is abuse involved and disrespect, especially if there are children, since the children learn by example and role models. <br />
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If you have to understand that there are all types out there, and when it comes to marriage, if no one is getting hurt, then no one should be judging anyone. <br />
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to judge and say, "this way is the only right way" is just an exercise in stupidity, and makes the person making the judgment look like a complete laughing stock. <br />
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I've dated guys that demanded, "total submission" and in my particular experiences, these men were very very very weak, disconnected with themselves, and went to great lengths to appear to be someone that there werent. <br />
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Additionally, they were so weak, they seemed to have psychological issues of narcissism, and just general pathology, (ie, projecting, violating boundaries, lack of empathy, etc..) Unfortunately, these are characteristics of the general population, in both sexes. <br />
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If there is a person that "totally submits" that will probably be a problem for not only the spouse, but everyone (like other family members) involved. <br />
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but like I said, those were just my experiences. <br />
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I am happily married, and me and my husband compliment eachother. We are weak/strong, controlling/submissive in various ways. I would not use the world TOTAL SUBMISSION though, that is just to much of a generalization. Interesting post though.

You go girl! Nice to see someone who wants a traditional marriage and isn't afraid to say so! I think it is important for all of us to examine our power structures in our relationships. Being open and communicating about expectations in a relationship is the first step to success. <br />
For me personally I have resented the moments that I felt the only one capable of 'wearing the pants' which led me to subconsciously ridicule my partner. in the end a disaster for both of us.

You know if feels good to let others take charge. But really it is a way to avoid person responsibility. Being in charge and making decisions is hard work. Some may want to avoid this challenge. Two brains are better than one. Why in the world would you not be make decisions along side your husband. Checking his blind spots and visa versa? No human is perfect. Only God is. Your husbands needs your help in thinking things through. Working with him as a partner does not have to emasculate him? I am not sure why you do not believe there is middle ground between being a salve and being a master. What about partnership?<br />
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The worst places to live on the planet are places where women are subservient to men. Study a little history and see what places are like where women do not have a say. They are terrible places to live.

You know if feels good to let others take charge. But really it is a way to avoid person responsibility. Being in charge and making decisions is hard work. Some may want to avoid this challenge. Two brains are better than one. Why in the world would you not be make decisions along side your husband. Checking his blind spots and visa versa? No human is perfect. Only God is. Your husbands needs your help in thinking things through. Working with him as a partner does not have to emasculate him? I am not sure why you do not believe there is middle ground between being a salve and being a master. What about partnership?<br />
<br />
The worst places to live on the planet are places where women are subservient to men. Study a little history and see what places are like where women do not have a say. They are terrible places to live.

if I was then woman with no degree and no money, maybe...<br />
however now we women are doctors and make so much money as they do so...

when you chose to obey, that is what you do forever. He cheats and you forgive... he spends money with someone else and you? obey...<br />
he divorce you and...?<br />
you are lost looking for another man to follow.

to support them all the time? does not matter if they are wrong??no way, only weak woman do that.Woman who does not want work, get a degree and use their brain.I would never only follow someone. Im the brain too, so Or we work together and find the best decisions or he takes his decision and I take mine. Because is my money, my life. He does what he want with his life, however Im not just a follower.

uuhhh shut up... srryy.- cant stand women who write "Now women 'wear the pants' in their marriage" and "Feminists have ******** men of being men - strong and in control." just stop, men think they are in control because they are men. thats NOT right.. because that IS making us women THE weaker sex... and mayb your husband loves you and all but not all man that are STRONG and IN CONTROL are so sweettt (if you know what I mean).

Good for you Biblesex, I agree totally. It seems the "Nuclear family has gone critical", kaboom!

Hey Tingling spine you ever think maybe just that woman had issues?

If there has to be only one president. Then why can't I be the president and my husband be vice president. Don't get me wrong I think it should be however your family is happy, but I am saying don't blame the problems of the world on the fact that some women want to be in charge.

Great story bibesex! I've never seen such views expressed from a woman's point of view and how true most of the things you said are. It makes me reflect on my own failed marriage and how awful it felt to be "married to my buddy" and competing with her in my house. Deep down inside, I feel like maybe she left me because she had too much control and authority in the household and I definately felt emasculated by what seemed to be a lot of competition between us. I'm a very mature individual and I am 4 years older then her, but somehow I felt more and more like a child in a mother's home because she'd patronize me often and challenge my intelligence using her Bachelor's Degree in Math, talent in music, experience in artisry, and knowledge of coding to further praise herself as being so much more educated then I was. She never held a job in our marriage and I happily did my part as the breadwinner. I treated her like a princess on a pedastool and yet she still felt the need to ob<x>ject to any sort of advice that I had to share, regardless of how good my suggestions were. It's true that she had more overall skill than I do, but she never had a real job and she didn't have as much life experience as I did so I don't understand why she felt she was so far above me that we had to argue even over the smallest things. I'd actually come home from a long days work and still try to do most of the houshold chores. The only thing she did was cook and she acted as if that was more important than my chores and income combined..as if the hard work I put into my job has nothing to do with the money we spend on living. She acted as if being a soldier is a hobby of mine instead of a means to support us both and that attitude deeply troubled me because this really is a tough lifestyle.She'd argue with me over every little thing and disputed every peice of wisdom that I ever had to share....to the point that I had pretty much given up fighting back and started argeeing with her just for the sake of avoiding debate. I convinced myself that I was just taking the high road by being more submissive while my wife became more and more dominant. I felt like she didn't respect me at all and that began to crush my self-esteem. She abandoned me while I'm still deployed to Iraq and now I'm seeing just how abused I had been in that marriage, I can't wait to get home so I can finalize my divorce. I learned from all of this though....and never again will I seek a woman that will control and belittle me to the point that she did. I'm a gentleman, but I am still a man and I do not think that I deserve to have my kindness taken for granted just because women have gone crazy with this "feminist movement". I've been realizing this more and more, as I have also been rekindling my Christian faith. I think a lot of couples could learn a thing or two from your experience and wisdom, thank you so much for sharing. I can relate so much especially to your last two paragraphs and the negative effects of what one may call a disobedient wife:"I am not inferior to my husband, I just have a different role in the marriage. Husbands can be loving and protective of a wife who is supportive and strong by his side. On the other hand, when wives start acting like the leader of the family - it emasculates him. He may act childish, immature, unreliable, and may treat you more like one of his buddies ( or alot of times his enemy) instead of his soft beautiful wife. Husbands don't want to compete in their own homes. Men and women are attracted to the things that make each sex different from each other.....so wives need to stop acting like the man of the house."

i think since ur talkin bible BATHSHEBA...hello my name is DAVID. ive sent my servants 2 <br />
speak w/u bcuz i noticed u. ive got 9" of negociation power.<br />
lets discuss things shall we.

And your inability to even write a sentence or spell simple words leads me to believe your 9" is so far up your own anal retentiveness as to be invisible :-)

My husband is not a control freak, nor does he expect me to do whatever he wants. I love him very much and love it when he 'takes charge'. I'm not a mindless troll and love my man to BE a man....It's a shame in this society we're looked down on if our men are in charge. People love to shoot you down if you feel that way but we each live our lives the way we choose to and this is my choice. I LOVE MY HUSBAND, and I want to do whatever he wants, he never tells me what to do, I do whatever I want, it just happens to be what makes him happy... :0)

I love the way you've worded this.

thank you sweetie!! i love me life. you and i have alot in common. my husband is everything to me he is my rock and i am his however he has the final say and he has never lead me astray!!! more power to us who believe in our marriages and in the ones god has put with us

You're all right...you all can live your marriages the way you choose. But since I'm posting in the group for people who 'choose to obey', I think it's pretty self-explanatory then that this would be my view-I don't think it needs defending here. But thanks for your opinions.