He Wouldn't Want Me to

If you enjoy obeyance, go for it, I wouldn't, but it's a matter of personal choice. But for my husband it wouldn't be a good thing.

My husband is not a control freak and has no desire to have an obediant robot for a wife. We left the "obey" line out of our marriage vows before it was fashionable to do so, by mutual agreement. We do everything by mutual agreement. It's not hard. In hindsight the entire promise was unnecessary as we are still deeply in love nearly 30 years later and we realise that promising to love someone is one of most absurd things a person is ever asked to do.


chovhani chovhani 46-50, F 11 Responses Sep 22, 2007

Your Response


why is this in this group? it's kinda anti-obedience isn't it? I personally do not agree with it.. except the robot statement. I would never be able to completely be a robot! I'm too loud mouthed :P

It is SO obvious that men who wish to dominate anyone have such low self esteem....anyone who has studied the male ego will know that men who "puff out their chests" and strut when they want to be noticed.....all the strong men i have met are quietly confident and dare to admit that women are equal if not (at times) far stronger


Men are ego based.....hunters, gatherers, competitors, fighters

Women are intuitive, carers, good at compromising, and the list goes on....they have to be because we become mothers...

Men cannot multi task because they were created to hunt only (if they were to think of anything else, their lives would have been threatened). Women were given the gift of multi tasking because they had to raise children, look after the home, finances etc etc, while the males hunted for food

Men struggle with power.....women make better negotiators and are more efficient at organizing....again we have to, as mothers

The men that would buy into my line of reasoning are the few that have high self esteem and are not threatened by women (largely the younger generation of men, i find, are more evolved)

Insecure men are threatened by strong women


Redshoes, 6, you're living in a dream world.

As far as men ruling the world, I promise that women would absolutely do NO better. The problems of the world have grown so huge that no human can straighten them out. It's not a gender issue. It's way beyond that.

You scream: "Equality all the way." Then you run down the men when you say: "Look what the MALE politicians have allowed to happen to our world." The politicians have not screwed up because they're men. They've screwed up because they're dishonest, greedy, idiot politicians. Gender has nothing to do with it. When you make statements such as this, you're not wanting equality. You're using the cry of equality as a smokescreen. That's you, a feminist using feminist rhetoric NOT to gain equality but rather, you use the claim of equality for your own manipulation plans. Yes, there are a lot of stupid men out there that would buy into your line of reasoning, but not ALL of us.

Equality all the way

Why let men be in control? Look what the MALE politicians have

allowed to happen in our world

Women are far more sensible, intuitive, compassionate and efficient

as a rule, to put men in control in any sphere and it spells

D I S A S T E R !

Women would do far better! For 235 years 99.9% of American politicians have been men. With men we have unending war, with women we'd have civilization...again

You have what I believe is the best way to have a relationship! Some days he's right some days I am. But we always come together to make the decisions!

This is quite an old post, but I thought I would respond. Choosing to allow your man to be in charge does not mean that you have no opinions and don't help with the descion making. I am an independant, smart and thoughtful woman, but I want the man to be in control. Like you said in the beginning of your post...If you want to live that way go ahead and live that way. We all have different preferences and should not be looked down upon because someone doesn't agree. I'm glad to hear that you have been with your husband for 30 + years and it seemed that how you chose to live your life worked for you, but it doesn't mean that it would work for everyone just like D/s relationships won't work for everyone. Find the person that you love and loves you back, cherish each other and never take each other for granted and it should work.

I will go there straight away.

chovhani....want some fun....take a look at the experience group "i diffeer with the obeying husbands completely"...something like that anyway.

Ill offer that this is a very misunderstood subject in my humble opinion

Stepford Wives yes. The scariest part is that women actually WANT to be like that. Go figure.

That’s the spirit, last thing we need are stepford wives (Which I coincidently just finished reading and enjoyed thoroughly)