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I Just Want Him To Know That I Have Forgive Him..

I believe in reincarnation...was unbeliever, because in my religion, there is no such a thing as reincarnation..
It all started when I was 19 (now I'm 34 y.o.)..I had this vivid dream of running through the dark hallway..there was some dim light from outside, but it was from the lightning (I always afraid of lightning and thunder)..It felt like I was in this huge castle.. I ran because of the thunders and the darkness made it more unbearable..then i felt someone was chasing me from behind..the faster ran, the faster the person chased me too. Suddenly I felt a hand grabbing me from behind and turned me around and say, "STOP!". Then there I saw a man, taller than me, in white shirt, black pants and boots. Dark curly haired. I felt like I knew him. Suddenly all the fear was gone. I feel save. Then the man hugged me and said, "It's okay. It's me. I'm here. I'll always be here." Then the dream was cut, next I found out I was in a a city under sieged..the sounds of bombs and gun shots were everywhere...the smokes, the screaming. Then there was this man, all in his uniform, khaki colored, high black boots, WW II kind of style grabbed my hand and told me to run.. possibly, because i remember it wasn't in english, but I just knew that it means "run". He then took me to this sort of basement and told me to stay there until he come to pick me up. I waited for him for what it felt like days, until I no longer heard the sounds of the bombs, gun shots, and airplanes. Then i climbed up to open up the door to the basement. What i saw was smokes, people crying, ruins..devastating picturesque. I felt so sad, like someone stabbed me in my chest.. I knew, somehow, he wouldn't come to pick me up. I knew it, that he had gone forever. I woke up weeping, mourning after the man. The man that somehow I feel that I love and had always loved him. Everytime i remember about the dream, i always feel the goosebumps, but also the deep sadness. Sometimes it makes me cry.
From that day on, I, somehow blaming him. I knew he loves me but I blame him for leaving me when he had promised to protect me and will come to get me. I blamed him for not being able to kept his promise. i always feel lonely since i was a kid and always feel like I didn't deserve being abandoned for no particular reason. As years go by and I learned a lot about reincarnation, I came to decide to forgive him. My man, my husband, my love my soul  mate, I had forgive you.
If you were out there in this life time, I just wanted you to know that I have forgive you and that i have always love you.  I knew you just wanted to protect me because you love me. You just want to do anything for the best of me. I'm so sorry for blaming you all this time..
I just wish...that I have a second chance in this life time to tell him that..and the chance to be with him fro a very long time. 
I still trying in search to find more information about him..and to find out who i was before..What if i found him now, but he doesn't remember anything and thinking that I was mad..If we do met, I hoped he remember me and love me the way he used to be..
There are more dreams about he and I, but maybe i will share it one day. Maybe after I meet him, who knows..because I wish this is not just a dream experience but will be a true storyy one day..
I always wanted to try the past live regression therapy..but I was too afraid to repeat the experience of lost and sadness..I'm still in dilemma of using the therapy or not, and would I be able to handle the effect after the therapy.Thanks for reading my story.
blueoceanrocks blueoceanrocks 31-35 Mar 24, 2012

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