RunningI knew nothing of the true meaning of soulmates or twinsouls/twin flames until after we met. When we met I did hours of research to try to find out why and how I felt the way I did for you. I had never had an experience as powerful as this; one that knocked me off my feet. I later read about runners but did not realize till now almost 6 years later that I was what the called a runner. The feelings were so intense and would not let up I felt that I would literally go crazy if I didnt put an end to it. I wrote my resignation which sat in my desk for weeks and I would pull it out ever so often. I thought leaving would be hard oh it was but the pain to follow was worse. The situation(long story within itself) arised where I finally put my resignation letter on the managers desk. I walked out tears in my eyes and cried my eyes out all the way home. I loved you and I know it sounds crazy but I loved what I knew about you, how I felt when I was around you I loved the you that I wanted to be with me. You were married as I was not but in a complicated relationship. I really thought I was saving my sanity by walking away. I know now that might not be true. I didnt think I would be sitting here with so many years between us still loving you.
You come to me in my dreams sometimes when I wake up is the worst part I want to go back and stay in my dream with you. I hear the song that reminded me of you "You and Me" by Lifehouse. The song haunts me and follows me from the store,I climb into a car its on or when my radio blasts it and wakes me from a deep sleep in the middle of the night. I ran because of how deep I was in and knowing there was no where to go. I wanted to run into your arms for you to hold me and tell me that you felt the same but that only happens in my dreams. I ran away knowing that it would be the end to no beginning. I did'nt realize how much more painful it would be than if I stayed. As much as I hope you felt the same I would not want you to feel the pain I was experiencing. I always have and always will wish you love and light. Raise your glass to "One Day" the on day we may run into eachother the one day that might be the beginning we never had.
msgicheygicheyaya 41-45, F 3 Responses 1 Feb 27, 2011