I knew nothing of the true meaning of soulmates or twinsouls/twin flames until after we met. When we met I did hours of research to try to find out why and how I felt the way I did for you. I had never had an experience as powerful as this; one that knocked me off my feet. I later read about runners but did not realize till now almost 6 years later that I was what the called a runner. The feelings were so intense and would not let up I felt that I would literally go crazy if I didnt put an end to it. I wrote my resignation which sat in my desk for weeks and I would pull it out ever so often. I thought leaving would be hard oh it was but the pain to follow was worse. The situation(long story within itself) arised where I finally put my resignation letter on the managers desk. I walked out tears in my eyes and cried my eyes out all the way home. I loved you and I know it sounds crazy but I loved what I knew about you, how I felt when I was around you I loved the you that I wanted to be with me. You were married as I was not but in a complicated relationship. I really thought I was saving my sanity by walking away. I know now that might not be true. I didnt think I would be sitting here with so many years between us still loving you.
You come to me in my dreams sometimes when I wake up is the worst part I want to go back and stay in my dream with you. I hear the song that reminded me of you "You and Me" by Lifehouse. The song haunts me and follows me from the store,I climb into a car its on or when my radio blasts it and wakes me from a deep sleep in the middle of the night. I ran because of how deep I was in and knowing there was no where to go. I wanted to run into your arms for you to hold me and tell me that you felt the same but that only happens in my dreams. I ran away knowing that it would be the end to no beginning. I did'nt realize how much more painful it would be than if I stayed. As much as I hope you felt the same I would not want you to feel the pain I was experiencing. I always have and always will wish you love and light. Raise your glass to "One Day" the on day we may run into eachother the one day that might be the beginning we never had.

msgicheygicheyaya msgicheygicheyaya
41-45, F
3 Responses Feb 27, 2011

Very few people have the strength to admit they are " Runners " . It might have taken you a long time to come to this point but you did it , do not be hard on yourself , do not judge or blame yourself . It was needed for both of you to work on your own energy and find your own balance . If you truly are soul connected , all is possible . It is so hard to understand the position of a " runner " as most want to believe that they simply being cruel , selfish and never feel the pain of separation . Unfortunately , when there is a connection so deep , being on the other side of the planet or replacing the soul connection by hundred of other partners , getting married , having children will never ever break the connection . It will eventually open more deeply the wounds that made the runner run to the point of making the pain of separation unbearable . The belief system built around soul connection tend to focus mainly around the " relationship " and romance ..a soul connection is a spiritual experience first with romance involved and not a romantic relationship with spiritual elements . The universe will push both parts further and further until lessons are learned and peace is established . Being said , the runners are certainly experiencing a great amount of pain along the road , they just ignored it longer and pushed down any sort of emotions way deeper . What will be great to hear here is more and more runners that explain clearly the stages of their experience in details . Love , Light & blessings to all of you out there :)

I am the runner!! I did it as many times as my power supported me. Because I thought, he was just like any other men who are out there to get a lonely desperate married woman like me for an affair. Even though I loved gazing in his eyes, I put on black sunglasses even inside the building to avoid looking into his eyes, put on my wedding ring everytime he was around. I melted on his voice and I was confused and freaking out with all godly signs, I avoided him like plague.
But I regret it from the bottom of my heart!
So I cried my heart out when I realized I have met my true soul mate, not the lust-mate.
But I am also open to the point, where I am can have him around as any form of relationship, not just sexual relationship.
I am ready to accept him as any form of relationship.
Me, the restless soulmate is so cool and calm now after finding out the great discovery!
I didn’t even know what the true meaning of soul mate is.
I thought, you like person, get married and you become soul mate. baha!

The pain you went through, was heartbreaking.<br />
Having said that I am glad you did not stick around and ruin a marriage.<br />
One day someone for YOU will cross your path and you will be glad you walked away.<br />
You need to forcefully put this behind you, and you are not doing so. Involve yourself in ANYTHING that takes time and a little focus, it is not healthy to remain as you are. You are the master of your feelings, not the other way around.