Missing Soulmate

“People think a soul mate is your perfect fit, and that's what everyone wants. But a true soul mate is a mirror, the person who shows you everything that is holding you back, the person who brings you to your own attention so you can change your life.

A true soul mate is probably the most important person you'll ever meet, because they tear down your walls and smack you awake. But to live with a soul mate forever? Nah. Too painful. Soul mates, they come into your life just to reveal another layer of yourself to you, and then leave.

A soul mate's purpose is to shake you up, tear apart your ego a little bit, show you your obstacles and addictions, break your heart open so new light can get in, make you so desperate and out of control that you have to transform your life, then introduce you to your spiritual master...”

- Elizabeth Gilbert (Eat, Pray, Love)

Among all the other thoughts on soul mates that I bumped into, somehow, I find this most comfortable.
We've always been led to believe that soul mates are romantic partners, the one we spend happily ever after with.
That a soul mate is a person of the opposite gender. That there's just one out there waiting for you.
And so with this paradigm, we become disappointed when things don't fit the definition. Our own definition.
Frustrated, we close our doors if we know we can never have them, or if it's impossible to even be with them.
Not even once.
And so, we miss the chance of truly seeing the soul of the person.
And we miss being the "soul" mate for that person, even just for a moment.
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8 Responses Apr 25, 2012

i knew someone who did exactly this for me. and it was true, being with him eternally may have been too painful. but what arguably was more painful was losing him forever. i wonder if he was not mine to keep? was it fate that brought him in, and then took him away, too? or was it me? all this time, i've wanted to tell him how much he changed my life through his loving eyes. i wished to tell him how he healed me. but i cannot, for he does not want to speak with me. so i honor the gift of knowing him by being the best i can be, being the person he saw in me and reflected back to me.

I think there are two things that contributes to making a perfect fit. One is the chemistry/frequency, other is the unconditional love for each other. If one falls short, other has to compensate to make it 100%.

I can't be what he doesn't want. I can't wait for him either. I have a responsibility to myself and children to be as healthy as I can, mentally, emotionally, as well as physcially.

Am i reading about the term "Zen Master" ??? !!!!!!

coz the above description for soul mate sounds like some kinda spiritual master.

Well, It's not about good or bad irish but the definition for soul mate is just some one "like us" or someone who reflects upon us. In simple words "someone who cares more about us than they care about themselves."
Above story fabricate soul mate like some Zen Master or some higher being beyond our understandings. :))

Ya i did heard about the view you are talking about, Not in the exact same words but in eastern physiology we used to have similar explanations for male and female characters. Absolutely a soul mate might be the missing part of a particular individual but we do have to remember that all our judgements are based on attraction or the way things are exposed. For example, If three guys try to court you then you will chose a guy who makes you more happy and more comfortable. This fact goes in real word. If a guy try to break you and working hard to bring the better ability from you then you will be bored and chose the guy who took you to movies and write poems. We can write and imagine a lot iris but real life goes with facts and expectations. Just my opinion ;) Peace. :)

I was with a soulmate. In particular my twin flame. We were not ready for it. I still think of him, even though I am with a great man now. And he was my mirrored self. Or as he once put it I was a female version of him. If I concentrated enough I would know when he was going to txt. I knew when he was seeing someone else. And knew that even though I would try to hhold to him, that eventually I would lose him. It is heart wrenching. Ive had to let go of two others I felt a deep soul connection with. But eventually they ended also. The man I am with I find incredible and I do hope that I can make it last. And I felt a connection. The very first time we spoke.

He could never commit. And we decided to end it. Over txting. So the closure was a lot like the entire relationship. Fast, intense, and emotions if expressed over txts. It hurts to think about him, so I try like hell not to. I can some times feel him thinking about me. I wish I could cut that cord, but I bury it instead.

I find this comforting too!

I like your thoughts here.

Well said, your comments on the quote. The soul of a person is everything, (not in a spiritual sense, but in the essence of what he/she is). I would have loved to rate up the story more than once. Some parts I would have written myself.