Who Was I To Make You Wait.

His words haunt me.. I hang on to them like they mean something. Right when I think i'm over him, it all comes flooding back with one single encounter. I feel like we have so much unfinished business and I easily forget why I did not let us be in the first place. It's my fault we are not together. My head tries to reason with my heart, but there is no reasoning with love. 
My head says- Why I can't be with him is more personal than anything. I need to finish school and move on to another place. Just experience life as an independent young adult. I absolutely will not let myself become my sisters, or the other women in my family. They found someone, fell in love and built their entire lives around some man. None had an education to fall back on and were completely dependent. I just cannot depend on a man.  This guy and I...We live in two entirely different worlds, both of us are stubborn as ****.
My heart says- He gets me, thinks i'm beautiful, funny and smart. His family has known me since I was a little girl and adores me. He's beautiful and charming. He makes me smile and my knees go weak.. I could listen to his voice for hours. He makes me feel alive and believe in soul mates. He makes me want to be a better person. Does this sound cliché enough yet? 
My head over-ruled my heart. He told me he'd wait for me. He told me good things come with patience. When I get done whatever it is I need to do, will he be at the other side faithfully waiting? Probably not, but it's a beautiful thought.  
kelsijade kelsijade
22-25, F
1 Response May 16, 2012

If he really, really does love you, he will wait. But in my opinion, I think temptation is a little harder on a man becuase when he's around other girls, it means there's more opportunity and territory for him to explore. When two people are not together, there's no way for them to keep the chemistry alive. I believe there needs to be interaction and affection.<br />
<br />
I don't really like the idea of waiting on one another, becuase you never know what will happen, you'll drive yourself crazy wondering if you can trust this person, and as time passes on, your feelings for each other may cease or you may meet someone else who totally swept you off your feet.<br />
<br />
All I can say is that you know him better than I do or anyone else and you believe he's able to wait, then wait for him.

Thank you for the comment. I agree, chemistry needs to be kept alive via interaction. I still think about him. I still wonder if he thinks of me. I just have to remember that thinking about all this is so useless... !! It's nice to talk about.. it's so easy to fall for someone and incredibly hard to forget