Let Yourself Be Forgiven And Change , Then You Will Not Want To Judge Others..


by Lawrence Wilson, MD
© September 2012, The Center for Development

Click here to listen to the older version of the improved Roy Masters meditation
Cilck here to listen to another version of the Roy Masters meditation exercise
Meditation is a very commonly-used word.  It generally refers to some type of prayer, or a method of calming or stilling the mind.  The word sometimes has a religious connotation, but not necessarily. However, in this article and in all articles on this website, the word meditation refers only to one particular mental exercise.  This is very important to understand.  It is a wonderful and powerful way to train the mind, relax the mind, and move a powerful healing energy downward through the body.
I will describe this in writing.  However, most people find it far easier to learn it while listening to a description of how to do it.  An audio version is available at no charge on this website by clicking on the links at the beginning of this article.  You may download the exercise from these links. 
However, if you prefer to buy the newer version of the exercise on a compact disc,click here for the meditation CD.
The Basic Procedure:  Sit in a straight-backed chair, with your arms hanging loosely at your side.  A variation is to lie down and place your hands at your sides. Close your eyes.
Become aware of your right hand. Just notice it.  Do not concentrate on it or visualize it, exactly.  Just be aware of it and notice it. Do not force anything to happen.
It is often easier to be aware of one finger at a time rather than the whole hand at once.  Move your awareness from finger to finger, but do not move your awareness to the rest of your body.  Keep your awareness on your hand.  It should start to tingle a little bit.
At the same time, look through the middle of your forehead, as though you were sitting inside your head and looking out.  It should feel like you are sitting inside a cave with nothing much to look at, so you just look straight ahead.  Do not roll your eyes up in your head or do anything else.  Just look out of your head through the middle of your forehead.
Modifying the Roy Masters exercise. For a more powerful effect, do the following:  Move energy downward through the head and the body, into the right hand.  When this feels comfortable, move the energy downward forcefully from the top of the head all the way down into the toes.  Do this continuously and very forcefully.
Never, ever move the energy sideways, and the worst thing to do is to move it upwards.  Never move energy in any direction except straight downwards for maximum effect and safety.
Relax the body.  In order to do this, one must relax the body a lot, more and more, so that more energy will move through it.  Also, one must relax the muscles a lot so that the energy will flow.  Also, the back must be straight.  You may lie down, sit or even stand up (not recommended), but the spine must be straight in order for the energy to move easily through the body. 
Also, the legs must be either bent at the knee as in a sitting position, or straight down, as when lying down or standing up walking, for example.
Allow and assist energy to flow into the top of the head and down the body to the right hand.  Encourage this energy to flow by drawing it down into the body.  Slowly this flow and the tingling of the right hand will increase.  Eventually, you will allow and move the energy down from the head into both hands and then into the feet as well. Both hands and both feet will tingle a little bit letting you know that you are doing it right.
To enhance the exercise, empty the body and mind and imagine the energy flowing into the void or emptiness of the body.  You can imagine a giant vacuum cleaner or force pulling the energy down from the top of the head and into the right hand and down to the feet.  You can also imagine standing under a giant shower or waterfall with the energy cascading down into the body and down the front of the body.  You can also visualize lying down in a river, with the water flowing forcefully from your head to your feet, while your feet are braced against a rock so that you are not swept away by the current.
These visualizations can definitely help a process that is real, namely bringing a certain energy down from the head to the feet as forcefully as you can.
Advanced ideas. Ways that an help move more energy through the body include:

  • Imagine pushing the body down, mentally.  This is like closing an accordion or squeezing a sponge downward.  I am not sure why this works, but it seems to move more energy through much better.  In your mind, (not physically), fold the body down like an accordion, and place your head under your feet with the body squeezed into a small space like a closed accordion.

·            Move the attention from one finger to another.  This was mentioned earlier.
·            Think of the exercise as being like magnetizing a metal rod by continually stroking it in one direction only - downward.  This literally magnetizes the cells, very much like stroking a piece of iron with a magnet to magnetize a metal bar.
·            Think of inducing a current in a wire (the body) by moving energy in a downward direction only through the body.  Like a transformer, this will induce a flow of energy inside the body in the same direction. 
·            You can either push the energy downward, or pull or draw the energy down the front of the body. Pulling or drawing the energy down is usually a little better, like drawing Heaven down to earth.  Any visualization that you can think of to help with this may move more energy down the body.
·            Try moving the energy not just down to the feet, but somewhat beyond or below the feet.  This also appears to help.
Safety should and must be a primary concern when one considers any mental or health practice.  This is because many meditations are not safe and must be avoided for safety reasons.  In my experience, the Roy Masters exercise is very safe for the following reasons:

  • It is easy to learn at home.  It does not require any special training, initiation, paying fees, or trained teachers or a group to help you with it.  This is a safety feature, since teachers and groups can corrupt meditations, especially.

·            You can do it as often and for as long each session as you wish.  This cannot be said of many other meditations.  For example, please avoid any prayers or meditations that send your energy upward, as they may produce marvelous effects on the mind, but may not be safe in the long term.
·            It will not lead you astray.  Some types of prayers, such as affirmations, can easily lead people in directions that are not healthy.  For example, some affirmations cause people to believe in things that are not really true, such as “I am happier and healthier every day.”  This statement might be true, but often it is not and is just an attempt to brainwash yourself.
·            It does not cause visions, hallucinations or other psychic phenomena.
·            It is grounding and centering, which tends to be far safer than most others.
·            It does not cause strain to the body or to the mind.  For example, many prayers and meditation teachers suggest one assume uncomfortable postures that are not needed, in our view, and can even damage the body over time.  This particularly applies to Oriental systems such as yoga and tai chi, unfortunately.  These can be good, but one must have a teacher who continuously checks to be sure there is no strain on the ligaments and joints of the body.
·            It is not hypnotic.  In fact, Mr. Masters calls it the anti-hypnosis, as it will break many light hypnotic trances easily.  Mr. Masters was a hypnotist before he taught meditation and states that this exercise can help break the effect of hypnotic speech, images, etc.
·            No dogma or doctrines are needed.  In other words, there is no need or attempt to inculcate certain doctrines in order for this exercise to work.  It is a pure exercise in this regard.  Dogma may help some people, but it is not needed and this is another safety feature since one is not forced to learn any particular information.  The exercise is mainly about removing images, thoughts, and emotions that are revealed to be untrue as one progresses with the exercise.  This is very different from affirmations that seek to influence the brain in ways that are sometimes not healthy, though the affirmations may seem benign.
·            It does not develop “psychic abilities”.  Some may see this as a disadvantage. However, in our experience, most people are better off without these abilities until they are sufficiently balanced to handle them properly.
·            A slow, steady and safe way to open the energy centers of the body and heal the body.  This is a great key and benefit of this exercise that cannot be said of most prayers and meditations, sadly.  The reason is the exercise is non-specific.  That is, it does not target any particular thought, body organ or area, or anything else.  It might be called instead an exercise in pure energy awareness of the whole person.
Two primary actions take place.  The first is that it helps to relax, calm and gain control over mind.
This is always the first step with most mental exercises such as prayer, affirmations, and meditations.  You may see that your mind is not really in your control and it wanders, races, gets distracted and sometimes roams sort of like a wild animal.
Repeatedly doing the exercise thousands of times slowly bring the mind under your control, somewhat like training an unruly animal or badly behaved child.
Second aspect is more special.  This exercise only is able to bring into the body and mind a special energy that is healing and that actually transforms the body and mind in unusual ways.  This is different from other exercises, although I believe that it is the intent of most prayer, as well.
This energy is itself unseen for the most part, but is in fact the basic ‘stuff’ or ‘ether’ out of which all created matter is built.  In other cultures and traditions, it is known as prana, chi, qi, vital force, life energy or perhaps zero-point energy.
The more of this energy that we take in and pass through our bodies, the better we feel.  Also, by absorbing more of it, one may be able to develop certain brain centers that otherwise remain dormant in most people.  This, in turn, can cause a person to develop new abilities and talents, such as enhanced perception, and others.
Personal experience.  I have used this method for some 30 years on a daily basis.  It continues to help me heal the physical body and it continues to develop my mind in ways I would not have imagined.  This is the reason I continue to recommend it.
Other meditations and mental exercises.  Other meditations are NOT recommended, including transcendental meditation, Vipassana, Zen, and most others. Some of these others are fine for certain purposes, but they do not accomplish the same thing as the Roy Masters exercise, especially with the modifications I suggest.
Is it religious?  Mr. Masters is a Christian.  However, the mental exercise he teaches is completely non-denominational.  It also requires no religious training or affiliation, although familiarity with certain biblical concepts is helpful to understand it.
For example, the Lord’s Prayer states that Thy will be done on earth, as it is already done in Heaven.  This exercise, and this is the only one that I know of, is putting this prayer in action as you bring the energy of Heaven straight down from your head down into you feet.  You are literally bringing Heaven to earth.
Mr. Masters says he learned it spontaneously as a child and just found it gave him a special kind of peace and perspective, so he just kept doing it.  His religious beliefs came later when, though the insights he gained due, in part, to practicing the exercise each day, he realized the importance of the bible and its truths. For more of Mr. Masters ideas, I suggest his small book entitled How Your Mind Will Keep You Well.  This is his basic book about the meditation exercise.  The others deal with specific issues such as parents, sexuality, food, medicine and other topics.
Reading is not the answer.  Mr. Masters states clearly that reading will never solve your problems, so do not waste a lot of time reading books.  Instead, learn to meditate every day and most problems will slowly disappear from your life.   I agree with this, for the most part, and so I do not recommend reading a lot of books about meditation for this reason.  However, Mr. Masters’ basic book, How Your Mind Can Keep You Well is helpful to get started, for a basic understanding of the procedure, and why it is different than all the others I have encountered.
              The means of bringing in the new energy is most important.  It is to empty the mind or self of as much of this world as possible for the short period of meditation.  This is critical to understand.  Roy Masters does not emphasize this enough, but it is at the very core or essence of this exercise if one is to succeed with it. 
              The concept is discussed in the bible, for example, in the phrase, “not my will, but Thine be done”.  This is the concept of emptying the self of all that one thinks is important and instead opening the self, the mind, and the body, including the joints of the body in particular, to something new, something different, something beyond this physical world.
The modified Roy Masters exercise can permit one to connect with a new source of personal and healing energy.  This may seem like a strange idea.  However, it is no doubt true, and one can feel it, first as a slight tingling and later throughout the body.
This energy may be called God or Jesus or life energy, or whatever you prefer to call it.  Whatever it is, it is some type of primordial energy of life that promotes health, happiness and long life.  It is also associated with certain human abilities that are not available when one is connected only to the physical and environmental sources of energy or physical reality.  This is a key to understanding this meditation exercise and, to some degree, all prayer and meditation practices.
The goal of meditation is to activate your full potential.  This is more than just calming the mind, or increasing one’s awareness, although these are among its benefits.  It is a long, slow road, so it is best to begin now.
The effects of the new source of energy are many, and they occur on all levels of our being.  For example, physical healing occurs because the subtle energy, as it enters the body through the head, automatically flows everywhere in the body and helps todeconstrict and decongest areas of the brain and body.
Many other subtle changes occur in the glands and other organs of the physical body.  For example, the practice of sitting quietly and meditating as suggested inhibits the sympathetic nervous system.  This is the fight-or-flight nervous system. Resting this system powerfully rests the adrenal and thyroid glands and assists the activity of the immune, digestive and elimination systems of the body
Many other benefits flow from this one benefit to the nervous system.  Breathing tends to automatically slow and deepen, bringing more oxygen to the body cells.  As breathing changes, the body becomes better oxygenated.  More oxygen in the body greatly assists the proper nutrition and metabolism in the body. This often brings healing all by itself and is the reason oxygen therapies are highly recommended for certain ailments.
Causing healing reactions.  As the physical body shifts due to the effects of the meditation, you can expect some unusual or just annoying healing symptoms, at times.  This is nothing to be concerned about and they will pass.  Perhaps skip the meditation for a day if you feel your body needs to “catch up” or move through something one day.
On the other hand, at times, meditating more will move the reaction through faster.  Some experimentation will be needed to learn how to best handle these situations.  I may be able to assist you if difficulties of this type continue to arise.  For example, you may be overlooking a procedure or aspect of your life that needs more attention.
So much change occurs on mental and emotional levels that a large section of this article will discuss just a few of the major ones. 
Mental healing occurs for several reasons.  Meditation is like a once or a twice-a-day mental checkup.  Often you will find that you automatically review your day and plan for tomarrow without having to think about it. 
Incomplete thought processes will be completed as the mind stops racing out of control.  Most people do not realize that they are so busy with their momentary activities that they do not complete their thoughts, and many projects at home or at work.  So during meditation, you will realize what you need to do and many thought processes will complete on their own.  This not only relaxes the mind and the emotions in many cases.  Often this also brings with it surprising insights and creative ideas for you. 
Old mental and emotional traumas come up for viewing and are resolved in the light.  This reduces stress dramatically.  This is a very necessary process for many people’s physical and even more so their emotional and mental healing.  It is not always pleasant, but if one will just observe whatever comes up with equanimity and an observing attitude, not judging whatever it is, then it will pass eventually.  That is all that is needed in most cases.  Rarely, it is wise to talk about your insights with a counselor or a good friend, but usually this is not necessary, nor is it always helpful since all that is usually needed is to let it go and move on. Talking for hours about it is not usually helpful at all.
Meditation also brings and keeps one in the present moment.  This is where all wisdom and healing lie.  Fear and anxiety are in the future, while guilt and remorse are in the past.  You will begin to understand this much better as you meditate daily.  This exercise is superb for keeping a person in the present time, something that most people have difficulty doing well and consistently.
The exercise is extremely grounding and centering.  This is not true of most meditations, by the way.  Grounding, which is the subject of an article on this website, is most important for healing for many people today.  Especially as our world is changing rapidly, grounding and centering are extremely important for all healing processes.
Deprogramming, rather than reprogramming.  The exercise deprograms the mind and even the body in many ways by upsetting and breaking up old tensions.  That is, it slowly undoes your past traumas and issues.
              In contrast, affirmations, most visualization and concentration exercises only reprogram the mind.  This is a vital difference between this meditation and almost all others that I have seen. 
              Whitewashing Vs. Removal.  This subject could fill an entire book.  It means that other methods will tend to whitewash over your problems, fears, angers and the rest of the unwanted thoughts and emotions.  Instead, the meditation I recommend here will often do the opposite.
              It will bring them up for review.  If you are able to just observe them without too much reaction, they will then be released and you will be free from the original cause of the attitude, emotion or thought.
              This process of deprogramming takes a few years, but is well worth the effort.   Each level of traumas and hidden emotions and thoughts that you progress through clears more negative thought patterns and little by little you will be free and will function much better in every way.
              Deprogramming and Healing.  Freeing negative energetic patterns also greatly opens the body for every kind of healing.
·            A Habit That Allows You to End Your Attachment To Mindless Habits.
·            A Discipline That Helps Remove The Need For So Much Discipline.
·            A Use Of Your Lower Will That Helps End The Reign Of Your Lower Will.
This meditation is a form of psychotherapy.  It gently brings up hidden thoughts and attitudes so they can be examined objectively.  It is a self-therapy that proceeds at your own pace and brings up issues in exactly the correct order.  By cultivating the ‘witness’ in oneself, it shines the light of truth on every activity, relationship and event in one’s life.  This has a powerful healing effect if one is willing to make needed changes that are best for oneself and best for others as well.  While psychotherapy can be beneficial, problems with all psychotherapy are that one must interact with a therapist who is usually not completely clear about all of his or her own issues, so things become confused and distorted in all instances that I have observed. In other words, just interacting with another, while often helpful, also introduces other input and theories and so on that may not be relevant and often send the client off in random directions, many of which today are not helpful.
Negative and random, distracting thoughts suddenly are found to have less power.  This is a mental effect that is quite startling to people.  It has to do with observing one’s thoughts and the idea of bringing up and releasing old traumas.  As this is done, the negative thoughts and feelings associated with the traumas stop coming into your mind.
You may find that oddly, you no longer feel sorry for yourself, for example, or you will strangely find you are less angry or upset with your family, perhaps.  Automatically reducing this negative thinking is an incredible benefit for many people who have tried affirmations, prayer, other meditations and many methods to accomplish this goal.
This meditation is an anti-hypnosis.  Roy Masters is a hypnotist by profession.  He realized people did not need hypnosis to cure their problems.  In fact, most are already hypnotized!  Most people live in a light trance state that he calls “the hypnosis of life”.  For example, television advertising, he says is just a way of giving many people a post-hypnotic suggestion to buy a certain car or brand of shampoo. Advertising may work because the population is already in somewhat of a trance state and are easily influenced by these silly ads.  Advertising has other more spiritual aspects, however, which is to raise awareness and alert people to new products and services.  However, many ads are aimed at unconscious and often hypnotic suggestions to lure people unconsciously.  This is what might be called the dark side of advertising.
              Meditation, by increasing awareness, very slowly assists one out of the hypnotic or very light trance state they are in and helps them come back to reality.
This meditation will help develop healthier attitudes.  Emotionally, one slowly becomes more centered and balanced in one’s attitudes and approaches to life. One becomes more centered in oneself, which is not the same as becoming self-centered.  The difference between these two states is enormous.  Centered in oneself means that one has a place of balance and peace within.  This allows one to be much less self-centered, which means preoccupied with the ego self or selfishness.
              These physical, mental and emotional effects combine to reshape the entire person, top to bottom, into a more loving, more unselfish, more enlightened being. This is the beauty of this meditation.
With this meditation, bad habits will tend to drop you.  Interestingly, you will no longer be compatible with them.  Many such habits simply stem from unawareness.  As your awareness grows, you will see the roots of your habits.  This meditation allows you to understand yourself without becoming morbid or negatively self-conscious. 
You will see the process of your thinking and why you smoke, drink alcohol or engage in other habits or activities that deplete you.   As you begin to take more of your cues from the higher self or real self, you will be less often triggered by people or events.  Common sense and a spiritual sense take over.  Change then becomes much easier.  Life becomes simpler and happier without exerting any special effort, except to keep meditating even if you think you have “arrived” or become “enlightened”.
The exercise offers a simple way to retrain the mind to watch itself without judgment or condemnation.  It is not, in itself, a way to solve problems, but a way to increase awareness.
               By increasing awareness, one understands oneself and others better.  This understanding brings solutions for problems without struggle or effort.  The only effort required is to practice the exercise regularly.
This is a unique way to solve problems.  I first read about the idea years ago in the books written by J. Krishnamurti.  I highly recommend reading one of his books. However, while he recommends meditation as the solution to all problems, he does not offer a specific exercise, so the results did not come.  I believe he practiced this same exercise but either did not wish to share the details or perhaps did not realize the need to share them clearly.  As a result, his books are wonderful to read, but will not produce the same results as doing the recommended exercise in this article.
This meditation is:
·            Taming the wild beast of the mind.  At times, the exercise can feel like ‘breaking’ a wild horse or trying to tame another wild beast.
·            Coming home.  It is like deciding to stay home, so to speak, and spend time with your real self instead of just running out all the time with various distractions and activities.  This meditation is a way of being with oneself in a relaxed way, of viewing problems without running from them or having to react in any way.
·            Turning down the volume of a blaring radio, so you can hear the more subtle music within.
·            Going to the movies every day.  However, the subject of the movie is yourself. This may seem boring, morbid or self-centered but it is really none of these.  You are a child of god and to explore and see yourself in this way is a wonderful exercise that helps you to appreciate yourself and then to appreciate others at deeper levels as well.
·            Magnetizing a piece of iron. This particular exercise is like stroking a piece of iron with a magnet to magnetize the piece of iron.  One simply strokes the iron over and over again in the exact same direction and way, and sooner or later the iron becomes magnetized properly.  It may take thousands of repetitions, however, to form a strong magnet.  Once done, however, it is quite permanent, and indeed, it builds upon itself.
·            Inducing a current flow in a transformer. A more exact analogy for this exercise is that of a transformer that induces a current.  The exercise actually induces a kind of electrical current in the body.  In a transformer, one wire that is connected to a battery or energy source is placed next to another one, although they are not directly connected.  The current and voltage from the first wire, when set up properly, is able to induce or cause a voltage in the second wire.  This is somewhat of a good description of what is going on with the Roy Masters meditation.  The energized wire is the energy that one moves through the body.  The body itself is the other wire that becomes energized, as a result.

This meditation helps enormously to shift the control or major influence on a person from the world and its hidden forces and agendas, toward control by the inner person.  This makes room in the mind and opens the way, later, for receiving other excellent guidance that is not of this world.
Beware, however, any time the mind is made receptive to guidance. Change in this direction, however, takes time and occurs slowly and gently in most cases.  If an opening occurs quickly, all the better.  However, one must be on guard, at all times, against the intrusion of other beings into the mind who are not benign, or who are less benign.  These are sometimes called negative souls or negative guides. 
One must always use common sense in regard to following any possible guidance.  It is imperative that one stay well rested, well-hydrated and well-nourished so the mind never is allowed to become unbalanced or too tired.
Meditation allows one to unfold from within, like a flower in the spring. In our physical development, we grow from the inside out, but mentally most people grow from without to within. That is, one’s education, friends, events and traumas shape the mind from the outside in.  This meditation permits a different kind of mental and emotional development from within.  It occurs according to one’s personal plan, not by accident or by the effects of others or random circumstances of ones life.
This is a fascinating concept of the unfoldment of the mental and emotional nature of an individual and few methods permit this type of unfoldment.  I was told by Roy Masters and others that I might not even recognize myself as I begin to unfold from within.  But not to worry, they said, because my positive qualities would be maintained.  The only ones that would drop away would be those that were not truly mine, but instead had been “slapped on” by unthinking or just unconscious parents, friends, teachers and others.  These need to be removed.  Some may not like the “new you” but they are not your real friends, as the real ones will love that you are “coming into your own” in new ways.
This exercise is the ultimate lifestyle modification because it will slowly shift a number of areas in your lifestyle, often in interesting and unusual ways as you keep meditating.
This meditation cultivates a relationship between the inner self and the outer self. In other words, it is a powerful way of cultivate a sincere, loving relationship with yourself, one that is not a relationship with the ego self.  To cultivate a relationship with the ego self is easy, as the ego is always demanding things and one simply follows the impulses to eat some ice cream, perhaps, or buy some new clothes or put on some makeup to look better, perhaps.
This is a different kind of loving relationship that is not about the ego self or even about the mind.  The mind is actually part of the ego.  The mind might make demands, too, such as it wants to be entertained by going to a movie or perhaps it wants to be stimulated by reading a fascinating article or book, even this one.  This is still of the ego self, though perhaps at a different level.
The relationship that is cultivated through this meditation is actually still at an ego level, but so subtle that it is far more health-producing and healing.  It is actually a relationship with the most subtle aspects of the body-mind and spirit. 
Because it is at this high level, however, it tends to straighten out and improve all of one’s other relationships with people, things, and events.  By working on this relationship, all other relationships improve because one is in better touch with one’s deepest essence or higher self or God.  For example, marriages often begin to work better, or perhaps one may realize that this marriage is not going to change much and another course of action is needed. 
Children often begin to shape up and relate to your better because most children are more in touch with their deeper self, having had less time to learn and build up layers of ego defense mechanisms that adults have.  All other types of professional and personal relationships also tend to get better.  This does not mean they will all continue, since some are unhealthy and one will become more acutely aware of this fact.  However, whatever happens, one becomes much more authentic, genuine, present, and not as easily fooled or manipulated by others.
While it is not discussed enough in psychology books, a key to relating to others is to not allow them to manipulate conversations and other activities.  This may make others angry, but in the end it is best for them, as well, of course, as it is for oneself. Allowing others to control and manipulate oneself is just an ego game that is “par for the course” in most human relationships.  When that comes to an end, some relationships will disintegrate or end, but that is as it should be.  They will be replaced, inevitably, by better ones based upon deeper  spiritual connections and real friendship rather than seeing if one can get one’s way with others, as is the more common style on earth.
As one learns to see oneself more clearly, one sees others with more clarity and discernment.  Of course, not all your friends and family will like this. They may have been using your anger against you, manipulating you with praise or blame, flattering you to get what they want or intimidating you with idle threats.  You will see all this more clearly and the relationship will change.
One becomes less influenced by images and illusions outside as you dissolve the images and illusions inside your head.  One becomes less gullible and less vulnerable to other's attempts to deceive and control you. 
If a couple meditates, it is like adding a neutral third party or mediator to the relationship.  This reduces ego fighting and the battle of the wills that often occurs between mates.  This is an extremely powerful way of doing marriage counseling, by the way, without having to pay counselors. However, both parties must really do the exercise correctly, and that, unfortunately, is rare today.  Usually one will do it thoroughly, while the other is still stuck in what he or she believes is correct and cannot truly let go completely into the exercise for fear that perhaps one will see that the perspective was not correct, after all.  This is the only problem with recommending that a couple meditate together, so beware of this possibility.
By loving oneself through taking the time and trouble to do this meditation, one becomes less dependent on the love of others, yet able to enjoy the love of others more.  Meditation allows you to practice true love.  Many people want to be loving, but they don't seem to know how. By connecting to your higher self or real self, one is filled the love of the Creator.  This can then be shared with others in endless numbers of ways.  It can truly allow a person to do as the bible suggests, to “bless and forgive this world” in each moment. 
This kind of love is detached, asks nothing in return, and is therefore more pure and unconditional.  One can see what others really need, not what they think they need or what they say they need.  It is the quality of compassion and not a bargaining session, as too much of “love” is on this planet, such as “if you love me I will love you.  But if you do this or that, then I don’t love you any more”.  This is purely an ego type of love, and not very spiritual at all.
By experiencing the “real thing”, one becomes aware of selfish motives and feelings that one thought were love.  These include attachment, identification, projection, lust, ambition, sentimentality, enabling and pride.  One will be able to let these go as one sees they are not very deep forms of love.  This can help relationships of all kinds in fabulous ways if a person can remember that love is always blind in that it just loves, and does not look for anything in return.
This meditation is about getting to "know thyself" at a much deeper level.  It is an impartial way to study the self and the mind.  As one understands the self more deeply, power and control over the self increases. As you gain control over yourself, your emotions come naturally more under your control and begin to even out.  They just have less power and effect. 
In a sense, the real Armageddon is fought inside your head.  When you have conquered yourself, meaning your own thoughts and emotions, dealing with the world is much easier.  The world situation, you will see,  is often no more than a reflection of the struggle that goes on inside each of us.  By changing yourself, the spiritual struggle is won and the world tends to shift in amazing ways around you.
After meditating for a while, you may find yourself more confident.  You may also discover that you will have more control or authority with others.  Some people will not like this, by the way, especially “old friends” and family who may have known you as you were before.
These people are often ones that are used to having you somewhat out of control so they can manipulate you in certain ways.  This may sound negative, but is often true, and is just one truth that you will learn as you continue to meditate.
You will see how people feign the truth, change their voice to manipulate and control others, and use a hundred other sly methods, often without realizing they are doing it, to control others.  As you see and feel these, you will be less influenced by them.
This will place you in a superior position of authority, and they will be unhappy that their little tricks don’t work any more.  You must be ready for this, as it will cause some anger on their part in most cases.  But it is best, of course, as their manipulative actions and words harm others and are not really helpful for the perpetrators, either.
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51-55, M
Dec 1, 2012