I Need Your Prayers and Your Advice
UPDATE: This is no longer an issue in my life and I am grateful for all of the prayers that went up to free me from it! Thank you.
I am really struggling right now. About a year ago I fell very hard for my best friend at the time. Shortly after, we started dating. The first week we were dating, he became a Christian (I thought he already was, but according to him that week was when it finally became HIS faith). Anyhow, the following week, God spoke to both of us separately--he instilled a desire to open a free medical clinic (we are both med students) for him. Then, he spoke to us about other things, that didn't make sense until we shared them with each other. It was such an amazing experience, sharing those precious spiritual moments with each other.
Over the course of the year we were together, many things happened. Our friends and families all met and everyone loved and approved of everyone. Things fell into place within our relationship and our circumstances. Then, several things happened. I got diagnosed with bipolar disorder and he got diagnosed with narcissistic personality disorder. We left our church due to numerous issues we had after we tried, in vain, to instigate change (there was some racism and sexism going on we didn't approve of).
Over time, we broke up. But I can't let go of God's promises to us. Did I make them up? Did I read into things that weren't there? Was I wrong to think we were meant to be together? Or should I be patient and work on drawing near to Him and wait? I cannot seem to let go of this man or this relationship... I can't forget what we shared and dreamed together. We are still in contact, and go out once in awhile. I think he feels the same and is using this time to work on his own issues, as I am doing (read my other stories about him, if you're interested!).
But I am just so scared. I cry every day about him. I truly am full of self-confidence and strength, but I cannot control my emotions! I have tried to give them over to God, but that doesn't take away their sting on my heart, nor alleviate my confusion.