I Believe

I believe in the power of prayer.

It isn't a last resort effort if something can't be done.

It is the first choice in finding clarity and strength to make decisions.

Many times I have been confronted with situations that were far from pleasant (family dynamics, bad marriage, impending divorce, educational trials, health complications, business partnership issues, death of close friends and family members). 

These situations are part of life.  Nobody goes through life without having some unfortunate situations occur.  It is in how we handle what comes our way that defines us.

There is nothing more heart-wrenching than losing a loved one.  Whether it is a friend, child, parent, spouse or lover, it doesn't matter.  Watching someone whom you love dearly slip away is extremely painful.  We feel powerless in our pursuit to save them, to make their pain less.  We blame ourselves, others and God for this person's suffering.  This story isn't an open debate on whether or not God is good, just or fair.   God is God.  And every person who chooses to have a relationship with God has a personal one.  My relationship with my God is different than the relationship you have with your God.  It is no different than being siblings and having the same parent. The relationships between the individual children and their parents are different because each child has different needs.  It isn't a one size fits all kind of love.  I am thankful that my relationship with my God is personalized for me.

When my father was dying, it was very hard for me to handle.  Here is someone who, in my opinion, hung the moon and the stars for me.  He was My Dad.  To watch and wait for him to die was the most painful thing I have ever experienced. I learned a lot about the state's legal system and DNR orders.  All I could do was work with his doctors to make sure that he was well cared for and was in no pain.  Other than that, I could do nothing.

Even though I prayed myself blue asking for God to spare him and let him come back around and be the strong dad that I remembered as a child, it wasn't to be.  It was truly time for him to go.

There was a tremendous amount of comfort that my God bestowed upon me once my dad had left.  Even though I felt like a zombie and was numb from losing my greatest emotional supporter, I was comforted by his memory.  Something that nobody can ever take away.  All I need to do is look at an item that he had on his desk (which is now on mine) and I am transported to a time of warmth, love and understanding.

I still miss my father.  He died 21 years ago but some days it feels like he died yesterday.

When I start to feel the pangs of loss, I just think of how happy he must be now that he is at peace.  I thank my God for the ability to be comforted by my memories of him.

I pray daily and I am thankful that I have the ability to pray.  Having that conversation with my God is what keeps me focused on hope.
WildSpectrumArts WildSpectrumArts
46-50, F
3 Responses May 21, 2012

Prayer helps heal, prayer helps protect, and most of all for me right now, prayer helps comfort and soothe. Bless you for sharing your thoughts.

Prayer helps heal.