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"The Split-Apart" Part One

My Bittersweet,

  Is there a way to move on rather than blindlessly forward?
 
  When two lonely hearts meet, if there is an inkling of attraction there, they Kiss, not literally but metaphorically. In the beginning, when they first Kiss they start to look for in the other what haunts their dreams. Dreams are very important more so than most give them credit, they represent many things in our lives and they allow us to see things to come.
 
Déjà vu, when you have this feeling you usually remember a forgotten dream that seemed all too real. What I am getting at, is we see the "One" our "Split-Apart" through our dreams and that attracts us to what others have to offer that in some way comes close to what we are searching for. All of us have that someone that visits in our dreams, the One we can talk to like no other, the One we feel completely at ease with, the One we meld with into every bend, the bends of who we are and the bends of who they are. The One that completes and compliments us.
 
  When young we are attracted to someone because of one or two small things, looks, mannerisms, smiles or just because they give us attention. Our first steps, our beginning path of learning, the new kiss is complete and more often than not this other soul is not the One. The search has just begun. In the beginning each person sees a lot or a little or just enough of the One they've dreamed of in each other to make them wonder, is the rest there. So they take a chance. Some may see a lot of what they have become familiar with in their dreams, while their new counterpart may just see a little and they begin to pull away.
 
They begin to move on, to continue the search for what is still missing. Leaving the other to drift, not understanding why the other doesn't reciprocate the same feelings. Eventually they move on as well and continue their search. Oh the pain in the lies of love and the great search...
  
She wrote -"Youthful thoughts on broken hearts would break your heart if you really thought about them."
 
 I Say – "Youthful thoughts on broken hearts are bittersweet, is it the same? I know they'll still break your heart."
 
  So here I will say hearts are broken but not in vain, but to continue the search, for if you give up as many of us do, then surely it would be in vain...

        "When You Know" - A beautiful song by Shawn Colvin
 
  What happens when you find "The One" how do you know it? I shall say you both have to know it and to be clear you both know it from the beginning, the search has ended, everything is recognized from the Kiss. I can't explain it, all I can say is you both will know. You know right off in the heart and soul, you see in their eyes, you hear in their voice, you feel with their heart. Physically, mentally, emotionally every bend fits, beyond belief, beyond your dreams. You know it was meant to be, you just know.

There is a little movie called "My Name Is Kahn" and in that movie the main character Kahn describes how he pretty much knows Mandira is the love of his life...
 
    "The theory of entrainment in Physics states that... some specific sounds increase the rate of your heartbeat. For me Mandira... that specific sound has always been the sound of your laughter."
 
I believe there is something to this, with my experience, for me it was not only the sound of her laughter but the music from her voice to my ear, the way her lips move when she spoke, her walk and in every way she moved her body as well...
 
What happens when you find each other but because of complicated mitigating circumstances, because one of them is already involved in a very lengthy relationship. A relationship of familiarity, of comfort, of necessity and there is some kind of love there but not the Love searched for and longed for throughout their life.
 
  The Love almost given up on, or was given up on until out of nowhere, unexpectedly it finds you, it makes both of you whole instantly. But one of you is not free and the one that is not cannot find the strength to break away from the relationship they are already involved in, because the one they are involved with has never really done anything wrong, doesn't want the other to leave and knows all the buttons to push. So well and so much so it leaves the One, your SplitApart, your Twin Soul, the one you have been looking for, for so long, devastated, lost, torn apart and they, after months and months of fighting, trying to find a way, finally give in and give up.
               
   "How do you move on when all you feel is empty, when all you long for is their voice, their touch, their smile and their friendship. When you can't breathe without them.
 
You look for all of these things in everyone you meet there after but they never culminate again in another, they just can't. Once in a lifetime, Love of a lifetime, I've heard. They may never come around again. If so what do you do? You wander aimlessly, blindlessly. How can you move on?
 
You don't, you keep your hope alive, you wait and you can only move forward, a day at a time…"


-Enaud
Written December 8th 2008
AnonymouslyWritten AnonymouslyWritten 41-45, M 21 Responses Oct 19, 2010

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Your story reminds me of just how blessed I have been in life. It has been my great joy to expereince the kind of love you have described and even though I wasn't able to be with that person physically for my entire life I retained all the joy and strength that came with it.



And even better it came back to prove itself for what it was - life giving love



And even better I have found another kindred soul as well...



I dont think Kindred souls can be limited by time, space, circumstance...



I also don't think life limits the number of times you can meet a kindred soul...or the reason they come into your life. I don't think they are limited to lovers.



Life is full of surprise and possibility...

it's kind of sad when someone can't be with their true love because of personal and life circumstances

Yes, strong, think strong but I'm weak :( trying though...



Thank you again Roxanne, I do believe, you believe :)

Yes that is so difficult finding the one when the other is involved in a long and strong relationship. To avoid any hurt, You need to believe and wait for the next lifetime and hope the one is still there waiting. One day the two halves will come together but their strength and perseverance is often tested.

My dear you are on to it, you have to read part two and three they are meant as one read. I split them up in order to give EPeeps a breather in between...



I hold all of what you have said true my AngelWings, Thank you for reading and may I ask that you read the other two... :)

This is my thought of two individuals who in essence eventually become "one". According to Greek mythology ( or at least how my grandparents explained it to us )-- when each of us is born, our soul is not complete- there is 1/2 that is born with us, the other 1/2 belongs to another human. We live our life as we are determined to. It is not our hearts that cause us to fall in love, or believe that he/she is "THE ONE"-- it is the answering of our other 1/2 of a soul calling to us. It is how we "know"- without knowing, that this person is just right- the final piece in a jigsaw puzzle-- and when all the pieces come together, we unite as "one soul, undivided".

Do I believe that completely? I want to. The idea that destiny, fate, kizmet, serenditpity, etc. controls how and where and who we end up with is a bit enticing. I asked my grandmother if these souls were united, why did so many couples break up? She said because we are human, and we don't always listen to what our heart/soul/and mind is trying to tel us. We have free will, and so it may take some of us longer to get it right. Even then, I felt what she gave as her reasoning sounded like a catch all. As a child though, it gave me great reason to dream of who might have the other half of my soul!

smiles n hugs, xxoo T~

That's just it, young love, lonely love or needy love is completely different from the One love, everything falls into place, everything is there or will be there when it is called upon...







Thank you for reading MrsLalaninjacakes, I'm glad you have found your One...

Now I know the One, it's hard to imagine me being so naive with the last 'one'. We never had any of that. But with DU, it's all there, everything, and from the first day we met, we've both known it too

I have learned and moved on and thank you for the wish :)



I still believe, I always will...

I find this very interesting indeed. In your situation I would be figuring that it was not meant to be, that this 'love' is indeed torment and torture, and that I had somethign to learn from this experince. Which I would try really hard to do. And then I'd move on.



The depth of your love and your belief in the split apart theory is lovely. I just wonder where it will leave you in another two years? and ten after that? and so on. If it's anything like the longing I've felt for certain people from the past, it will get you nowhere, and eat away at you alone. I hope that's not the case, though. I wish you well.

Thank you for posting fungirl mmm mmm mmm, I read yours before but we pretty much talked about it in our PM, I really appreciate your connection with this, Kisses are grand aren't they?



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Thank you so very much mystik. The only thing is, I am absolutely sure she is my Split Apart and there are very complicated circumstances as to why we cannot be together. From the sound of your research I have read the some of same things and if you recall there is also the reasoning that your Twin Flame may be already committed in another relationship and may not be able to break away which is true in my case. Another is that your Twin may not be at peace within themselves enough to unite just yet...



I truly believe she is my Split Apart but as of right now, fate holds our key...



Thank you for commenting and I am really glad you connected with what I had to write. I hope we become good friends and that we may even share some research...?

Your post has me thinking about kisses and it has since the first time I read it. I know that your kisses are metaphorical and i understand that but I have had a lot in my mind that are totally unrelated to your post but stem from it. I think that you have described one of the great sorrows of like and that is that we don't recognize true beauty when it is in front of us many times and we move on to what we think is the "bigger and better" for us only to find that the most beautiful and most perfect was already ours but we have cast it aside.

You are very welcome AW. Glad I could contribute. It helps when we know there are others who understand.

Please don't think me ignorant here Vignette, but right at this moment all I can say is Thank you for bringing more words to parts of what I have been saying and feeling...







All I really can think to say to each one of your paragraphs of additional wisdom is really nothing but, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow and thank you for adding to this story of my beliefs and life experience...







It is like you are reading my mind and I am sure all the others that have read this and believe in or have experienced this part of life have found my words helpful in describing something they may have had problems putting their finger on. But with your additional comments, well, just let me thank you again...

AW - This is beautiful. What you describe here is beyond tragic. It is beyond pain, as it would be a relief to escape the unrelenting tormenting sorrow, agony and grief. To feel pain is the lesser choice, a brief reprieve, a welcomed distraction...



The way we see the world and the Universe, will never be the same again. Irrevocably changed, no longer ignorant, our eyes now opened to new levels of awareness and understanding of how deeply we yearn for that other person - for that one-ness. More than that - I think we become aware that we have been living half a life, and along with that new realization, we understand the despair of truly being unfulfilled. It is an epiphany of anguish that is branded deeply into our souls. It is a wound that will never heal. We come to understand that there are indeed some things that time does not have the power to affect.



In a situation as you have described, there is no easy answer - only hard questions and pain along every possible path that might be taken. No matter what path is chosen, suffering is the result. That is another hard realization - the loss of happiness, or at least the acceptance of pain as a newfound life companion. Try as we may, to solve the dilemma, we never find the right solution; and that is because there is none.



There comes a point, as I think you described, when the torment becomes too much to bear. The joy that was, becomes the pain that is; and separation is no longer a dreaded thought, but now is a survival necessity. The flames that once burned brightly with passion now serve to incinerate the soul.



So we bless them and wish for them to find some measure of peace and happiness. We then walk away, knowing we will never be the same again.

Exactly, Thank you destry, thank you...

Yes, it is sad and hard...



Thank you for reading and commenting, it means a lot to me that you do...

I felt deeply sad as I was reading this "the One" theory..it's too heartbreaking finding each other but the love you have is unrequited because one is committed who can never break apart from a long-term relationship...It happens...Sad..Tragic....I have a heavy heart!

Thank you again MandL



and Thank you very much Puff, thank you

The possibility that that is our true nature, makes me hope so...



Very nicely written

I could be wrong but I'm inclined to believe that we are in love with love itself, which explains the ache