"The Split-Apart" Part OneMy Bittersweet,
Is there a way to move on rather than blindlessly forward?
When two lonely hearts meet, if there is an inkling of attraction there, they Kiss, not literally but metaphorically. In the beginning, when they first Kiss they start to look for in the other what haunts their dreams. Dreams are very important more so than most give them credit, they represent many things in our lives and they allow us to see things to come.
Déjà vu, when you have this feeling you usually remember a forgotten dream that seemed all too real. What I am getting at, is we see the "One" our "Split-Apart" through our dreams and that attracts us to what others have to offer that in some way comes close to what we are searching for. All of us have that someone that visits in our dreams, the One we can talk to like no other, the One we feel completely at ease with, the One we meld with into every bend, the bends of who we are and the bends of who they are. The One that completes and compliments us.
When young we are attracted to someone because of one or two small things, looks, mannerisms, smiles or just because they give us attention. Our first steps, our beginning path of learning, the new kiss is complete and more often than not this other soul is not the One. The search has just begun. In the beginning each person sees a lot or a little or just enough of the One they've dreamed of in each other to make them wonder, is the rest there. So they take a chance. Some may see a lot of what they have become familiar with in their dreams, while their new counterpart may just see a little and they begin to pull away.
They begin to move on, to continue the search for what is still missing. Leaving the other to drift, not understanding why the other doesn't reciprocate the same feelings. Eventually they move on as well and continue their search. Oh the pain in the lies of love and the great search...
She wrote -"Youthful thoughts on broken hearts would break your heart if you really thought about them."
I Say – "Youthful thoughts on broken hearts are bittersweet, is it the same? I know they'll still break your heart."
So here I will say hearts are broken but not in vain, but to continue the search, for if you give up as many of us do, then surely it would be in vain...
"When You Know" - A beautiful song by Shawn Colvin
What happens when you find "The One" how do you know it? I shall say you both have to know it and to be clear you both know it from the beginning, the search has ended, everything is recognized from the Kiss. I can't explain it, all I can say is you both will know. You know right off in the heart and soul, you see in their eyes, you hear in their voice, you feel with their heart. Physically, mentally, emotionally every bend fits, beyond belief, beyond your dreams. You know it was meant to be, you just know.
There is a little movie called "My Name Is Kahn" and in that movie the main character Kahn describes how he pretty much knows Mandira is the love of his life...
"The theory of entrainment in Physics states that... some specific sounds increase the rate of your heartbeat. For me Mandira... that specific sound has always been the sound of your laughter."
I believe there is something to this, with my experience, for me it was not only the sound of her laughter but the music from her voice to my ear, the way her lips move when she spoke, her walk and in every way she moved her body as well...
What happens when you find each other but because of complicated mitigating circumstances, because one of them is already involved in a very lengthy relationship. A relationship of familiarity, of comfort, of necessity and there is some kind of love there but not the Love searched for and longed for throughout their life.
The Love almost given up on, or was given up on until out of nowhere, unexpectedly it finds you, it makes both of you whole instantly. But one of you is not free and the one that is not cannot find the strength to break away from the relationship they are already involved in, because the one they are involved with has never really done anything wrong, doesn't want the other to leave and knows all the buttons to push. So well and so much so it leaves the One, your SplitApart, your Twin Soul, the one you have been looking for, for so long, devastated, lost, torn apart and they, after months and months of fighting, trying to find a way, finally give in and give up.
"How do you move on when all you feel is empty, when all you long for is their voice, their touch, their smile and their friendship. When you can't breathe without them.
You look for all of these things in everyone you meet there after but they never culminate again in another, they just can't. Once in a lifetime, Love of a lifetime, I've heard. They may never come around again. If so what do you do? You wander aimlessly, blindlessly. How can you move on?
You don't, you keep your hope alive, you wait and you can only move forward, a day at a time…"
Written December 8th 2008