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Preparing Our Daughter

Our eldest step daughter struggles at school and is counting down the days to when she leaves. She does try hard at school but can't put things across when it comes to written exams. She has shared with me some of her thoughts and said she wants to be a mummy herself when she is older. She is far to young for this now, she is coming up to 16 and has not dated (hubby wouldn't allow it yet anyway).

My husband has openly adopted the thought of encouraging her to be a Christian wife and mother like I am. She is still very much under the control of her daddy and is still spanked if she is misbehaves. I have explained that when she is married she may also get disciplined by her future husband. She does accept this.

I have shown her how men need to be looked after, how rewarding a housewife can be and she is taking on more chores and loves to welcome her daddy with a glass of wine he walks in. All skills that be transferred to a future husband. She still struggles with clothing and would wear short skirts or jeans if she could get away with it. We have recently introduced her to stockings at the weekend and when she leaves school she will wear stockings or holdups most of the time.

Right now she is helping around more at home and her daddy is very impressed with her attitude. I have touched on the aspects of a traditional marriage and what it entails and we have read parts of the bible that this relates to. We have also been shopping for new clothes in accordance with our rules to get her ready to dress with modest. This is the biggest challenge so far as she thinks short skirts and bare legs are suitable, something hubby spanked for her last week when she was picked up from school unannounced with her skirt raised up and her tights removed.

For me, I dress for my husband and he chooses my clothing range and often comes shopping. Getting dressed in the morning is to impress him and we will be instilling this to our dd.

It would be interesting to hear other peoples views on this and how they prepare their children for marriage and the outside world.
jopearsonuk jopearsonuk 31-35, F 10 Responses Feb 4, 2013

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And since we all came from a woman
Got our name from a woman and our game from a woman
I wonder why we take from our women
Why we rape our women, do we hate our women?
I think it's time to kill for our women
Time to heal our women, be real to our women
And if we don't we'll have a race of babies
That will hate the ladies, that make the babies
And since a man can't make one
He has no right to tell a woman when and where to create one
So will the real men get up
I know you're fed up ladies, but keep your head up

I have a daughter too!
My daughter is being taught to question authority and to think for herself.
Education will be encouraged and we plan on telling her that as a female she can do anything she chooses to do, the sky is the limit as long as she is willing to work hard!
She sees my husband and I serving one another as equals, she also sees compromise and negotiation as no one in my home is considered the "boss".
She sees me question and challenge my husband and he I. We are equals.
We are Christians, and as such highlight The Saviors love and sacrifice and his example of compassion and forgiveness.
I will not allow her to see the misogynistic parts of the bible as I feel that would be harmful to her as a developing human being, perhaps when she is older I will sit down and explain to her the ancient context in which it was written.
We also appreciate science and education and progress.

thank you for saying this. should be lesson for anybody who think bible or god or christ justify keeping women down.

You either are Christian or you are not. The whole religion is based on faith, meaning you either follow all the teachings blindly or you're what they call, a heathen. You can't just take bits and pieces you like and call it valid. Stop lying to yourself, you're clearly not Christian.

I am a Christian! I accept Christ as Savior. I believe he is the son of God.
I an a Christian Feminist. Google it!

Habatur is clearly one of the christian ayatollahs who believes that he/she (for it is not prepared to identify itself) is uniquely equipped to interpret the words of god and so to be able to decide who is a christian and who is not. His/her fatwa that i am "clearly not a Christian" is fundamentally ignorant and arrogant. There are so many contradictions in the bible that i assume Habatur's blind following of them all, for that is what he/she says you must do to be of the faith, has driven him/her utterly mad.

Thanks yulico! :)

its a pleasure! xx

I'm an anti-theist that does, on occasions like these, spread word of what theism is all about. That has nothing to do with a bible or a God, those are only accessories used to illustrate the purpose. It's a shame you can't see past the tip of your nose, but your delusions are not my problem. If you do not live your life in absolute submission to faith, you are not Christian, Jewish, Muslim, etc. It's as simple as that.

You can't just pick and choose the parts of the bible that you like as if it is a salad bar. Christians serve Jesus, he does not serve us.

Jhallnv,
The bible condones slavery also as well as a whole host of immoral things that modern day Christians do not agree with.
If it were up to the bible, women wouldn't be pastors or ministers and yet some of the best leaders and teachers of the word are women.
The bible was written in a very different time. We have progressed. We are better now.

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Not everyone is able to live a life in which he or she is free. Perhaps this is an outlet for those people, however this does not only apply to Christians. However this post makes me wonder, is it in her genes or a result of ****** parenting?

Thanks for all the comments, good and bad. I know this type of marriage is not for everyone. I would like to point out we are not forcing our daughter to do anything. She asked for guidance and has said she wants to be housewife and have children like her parents. I think that is so sweet. We are helping her and and she is still a "child" or teenage and lives under our house she abides by our rules. We do live a very traditional way of life and I am not ashamed of it at all, I just want to share it.

She doesn't like stockings at all and struggles attaching the stockings to the belt. I am helping her with this and she will be fine after practice. Hubby wants her to start wearing stockings all the time now with a view to being introduced soon. I can see arguments along the way though!

She wears 4 straps at present. She doesn't it know it yet but she will be wearing stockings all weekend for practice and helping me cook in the kitchen and serve meals to her father. He even suggested he will ask her to change outfits. That is good practice, he is always asking me to change dresses or skirts.

I know we should only reply with authenticity, support and respect, but I can't avoid thinking that this really sounds perverted. I mean, stockings with suspender belts are really sexy, provided the woman is using them to look more attractive. A father who spanks his 16 year old daughter on her bare bottom, and who tells her to keep changing her stockings and dresses, is just a pervert. I can't imagine a genuinely religious father doing this. Surely it's a joke? If not, however did you manage to interpret the bible this way?

She has got 2 Berdita belts which are practical. She only wears 60 denier at the present, may be later she will try nylons. Does your mother change before your father comes home?

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You are a good mother. God bless you.

Thank you

It seems you understand your daughter well and are "educating" her for a future that fits her ambitions.
There is nothing wrong with wanting to be a good, loving and obedient wife and mother.
That sounds like a recipe for a happy and long lasting marriage.
Well done!

I think it's great that you're helping your daughter prepare to be a traditional housewife and mother and that you require her to dress like a proper young lady. I wish my mom was more like you, actually. I love my mom and she supports me 100% but though she doesn't say it out loud, I think she's a little appalled that I have rejected feminism and just want to get married, vow to "love, honor and obey" my husband and be an old fashioned, stay at home housewife and mom instead of pursuing a career outside the home. I know she thinks I'm crazy for wanting to dress like a lady and wear dresses and skirts all the time just because my fiancee wants me to. In truth, he only pushed me in the right direction, I love being feminine and dressing like a girl ought to dress. I love my vintage 1950's style and hate modern fashions. My mom might think I'm out of my mind to wear girdles, stockings and petticoats everyday, but she does tell me how pretty I look and that she's happy I don't go around in skinny jeans and bare midriff shirts with my muffin-tops hanging out. :) Like I said, she does support me, but I do wish she was more traditional herself and could help me prepare to be a good housewife, but I'll. Just have to learn those skills on my own. I do commend you though, and wish there were more mothers out there like you.

Thank you for the comments. I think this style of marriage has so much to offer and provides such a strong tradition of family life. Yes there are aspects I dislike or annoy me but life is all about give and take. My husband works so hard and provides for us so even though I dislike skirts and dresses all the time I dress to please him and make sure his children are dressed properly and well behaved. Are you married or dating?

To be honest as an Atheist I'm some what intrigued but as an ex christian I can't help but be horrified. No offense intended just a knee jerk reaction. As long as your daughter is not forced and really wants this for her future I see no problem as long as her wished as being respected(and thats years of maturity coming through).
My mother tried to prepare me for a marriage and being a housewife. I rejected this idea as its not me. Its not what I want for myself. She did not respect my wishes. Thats probably why I mention it above.
I tend to hold the theory to let my kid become what they want unless its hurting others and they do understand how to live and be mature and kind to others. I am still too young to have thought about this much as I'm only 21.

Best parenting is setting a good example. Good for you to practice what you are trying to teach!

"I have explained that when she is married she may also get disciplined by her future husband". Doesn't sound like a Christian marriage to me, more like an Islamic marriage. Are you going to choose her husband as well? Poor girl.

I agree Rachel your parents are doing a great job of looking out for you, and love you very much. I wish all kids had such a great start to their adult lives

Love and care is giving advice and then letting the person choose. Isn't that how god is said to work?

Re check your bible God directs that a man who does not discipline his house hold "Hates them" you can manipulate a few verses but it is consistent in many places with this directive. Also while guiding our young, we do not order them who to marry they still in the end make a choice.
All three of my Girls married very good choices,(men they met in college) because they were brought up to know what to look for in a man.

I don't actually have a bible, I prefer factual books. But I seem to remember from my infancy that god gave free will to men; the trouble is he punishes them if they don't take the right decision. And since god doesn't exist, the punishment is left to perverted fathers who spank their daughters. You know, all you fundamentalist christians are so similar to fundamentalist islamists that it's strange you think they will go to hell while you go to heaven.

sorry but coolsmith2009 is correct. God gives us freewill to choose, you can educate but you cannot coerce, let alone force. Jesus say the greatest of these is love - only time word used in your story is how daughter loves to give father drink. You do not say you love daughter, you do not say you love husband. Seem to me you are encouraged by a patriarchal interpretation of god/bible to bring daughter up to be subservient to man, just as you are. this is no stance for a woman today when we fight for independence. and to allow future son in law to discipline daughter is likw abuse of her body and her mind.

For those of you who don't agree with traditional roles in marriage please don't comment just leave. This group is not for you, there is a group for you to write your comments find it and leave this author alone. You are violating EP policy's with your non-supportive unpleasant remarks.

did you see the part where it says to comment in supportive, authentic, and respectful ways? Oh do you not understand that these groups are to support like minded people.
Whoops, I am sorry I should not be making fun of you perhaps your slow and don't understand the rules of EP

You are right, it is true, they specifically ask replies to be supportive, and I could never be supportive of your ways of educating your offspring. I wanted my son to be able to think for himself and I never tried to indoctrinate him with my views. So I apologise and leave you all to your closed minded ways.

JennaR My response was not intended to offend you, merely to present a different point of view i believe it follows EP rules in that it is authentic (it authentically represents my opinion and authentically quotes the new testament on the words of christ); it is respectful (it does not abuse or mock you, unlike your own response to some contradictory comments); and it is supportive (of the true christian value of love, of your daughter's right to make up her own mind and not be indoctrinated into a repressive patriarchal regime and of the broader freedom of women to forge their own place in the world). Im sorry you dont like to look at other opinion but that is your choice. I do not believe that you have the right to make that choice for your daughter.

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