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A Spoon Full of Sugar

I do believe that even if a friend is hurting or going down a path that I may believe is not in their best interests, it's important to speak up and help them through it. But it's more important to help with kind words, not mean and spiteful ones. An so called friend believed that I was heading in the wrong direction in my life. I wouldn't mind if she came to me and just say simply her concerns. Then we could have talked it out, like mature adults, and I could explain my situation more... because she really had no idea about my life or circumstances. But she was mean and nasty about it.

She said to be a real friend, she had to be mean??? Erm... no. If she had taken the time to know me, or was interested in knowing me, she would have seen that I don't respond to harsh or mean words. They don't help or convey the message to me, at all. For most of my life, people had approached me without kindness and were simply blunt and raw with me. It was to the point that, even now, I do struggle to learn the art of sugar coating things. And I apologize a lot, for my blunt and "black-and-white" statements. It's something that I seriously want to change.

I do believe that it's best to help with kindness, not meanness. Being mean and saying mean things harm and damage, even if your concern is valid. And the best way for me to hear a person is when they are kind. I've already heard the noise of blunt and blanked opinions all my life, which I tend to block out and ignore. It's the quickest way to chase me away, to be honest. :-/

When I offer help to others, or when I see my friends heading down the wrong path, I gently grab their arm and speak kindly to them. I don't assume that I know everything about what they are facing or why they are heading down the path. And then I tried to figure out IF the path is truly the wrong one for them! I know what seems like a wrong path for me may not be a wrong path for anyone else. =p

deleted deleted 26-30 2 Responses May 11, 2009

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Well, it sure sounds like she truly believed it was for the best! She may not have realised that it was doing more harm than good. Sometimes, we can all do mistakes like this. I try to avoid the harsh words as well, but I bet I've been foolish or ignorant many times.<br />
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The reason why I say that it may be been the way she was treated in the past is because my elder brother tends to have the same approach on things. He believes that it is the best way of helping, but it just seems to cause a lot of upset and shouting.<br />
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Don't ever think that you're alone ((hugs!))

It's not just about sugar coating...it's just about being kind. Meaness is unnecessary. Your friend may have thought that a harsh approach was for the best - tough love as they say. I don't believe that's the way to go about things though. Maybe that's the sort of help she had been offered in the past.<br />
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Sometimes, lending a kind hand is all that is needed. It's simple, but it allows the person to stand on their own feet again.<br />
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"And then I tried to figure out IF the path is truly the wrong one for them! I know what seems like a wrong path for me may not be a wrong path for anyone else. =p" - wise words :D!