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A True Believer

I've lived a long time.  I'm now what is considered an 'oldster', that's older than senior citizen.  I have always believed in true love and happiness.  I have 4 children, 5 grandchildren and would have great-grandchildren except my grandchildren are waiting.  Good for them.  I have been married 3 times, divorced twice and now am in the process of what I hope is the final divorce.  You might say, I never found true love, but I did.  I found true love and happiness 3 times.  You say, but if it were true, you'd still be with No. 1.  When you reach my age, you'll find that people aren't static and things happen.  So, in three separate instances, I was truly in love and truly happy.  In between, was some heartache, some problems, some grief.  To be sure.  But this is life and life comes with no guarantees.  I am on friendly terms w/exes #1 and #2 (it sounds so caulous to  put it that way) and will be w/#3 when some time has passed.  I am living now with a pretty intense heartache, but I know from experience that this, too, will pass.  I try every day to focus on the positive, among the positive is my grandchildren, they are so precious to me.

So, you ask, is there such a thing a True Love and Happiness.  I say absolutely YES.  It may not last forever, so treasure it and cherish it, try to keep it alive.

Instead of wedding vows that say 'til death do us part', I think something along the line of:  I'll love and cherish you, but if you ever decide on someone new, please let me know, so I can decide what my options are with dignity'.
monadezelski monadezelski 66-70, F 4 Responses Feb 24, 2011

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It's now 2014, and I am now the great-grandmother of a beautiful baby girl. I had thought by now, i would be over my heartache, but as he secretly drained all our retirement savings, I'm on just social security and it's hard. I think I adjusted more quickly to his infidelities than I did to his sneaking off with our money. I do believe that you have the right to change your mind and find a new love. But I'm just a notch above poverty and that was crass. Thank God for Social Security. Oh, important. I didn't think I was stupid, but I was. I thought as both our names were on CD's, investments, etc., we both needed to agree to withdraw monies. Wrong! Be advised.

Moonstar7, thank you for your wise words. I do believe in the subconscious, and also believe in prayer. 'Into each life, some rain must fall', an old and true axiom. I'm just thankful to have 2 wonderful grandchildren living not 5 miles from me. I've been the caretaker for them while their parents worked and that way, they didn't put them in daycare. And now, they're older--6 and 9, adorable children. I have them thru summer vacation and next week is Christmas vacation and I have the honor of their company again. We will again bake Christmas cookies. Kids today are SO smart. I'm not looking for romantic love again, I'm now 73 and have some lingering medical problems, most caused from that trouble union. I would like to pass the word that just having finances jointly doesn't mean one or the other can't surreptiously drain them. Beware. I obviously can't spell. Ha ha. Too old to care.

Wise post.

It's good to read some reality. Life is not for anger or emotions, but somehow we all have them, so wade through it and go for the brass ring. Sometimes, you fall off the horse. So what! Dig in, move on!<br />
The goal is to find happiness. Poker is to get the Royal Flush. I feel, getting a Pair, is satisfactory.<br />
But, I don't care to get the Wild Card. Playing the hand you got, can be good, even if you have to fold. Sometimes, the Deck may only have one card. I've played the game three times, and lost, everytime. Now, I'm playing solitary, as in Hermit. I'm out of energy and what's left, is to get me to where I want to go, to enjoy life. It's good to have someone sit at the Campsite though........ and discuss the good years. Maybe even enjoy the Campfire.

RojoJeepNut, hope you're still here. I agree wholeheartedly with you. I still believe in love, but plan to spend my energies on my kids, grandkids and now great granddaughter. I got thrown under the bus and dragged in my third marriage, it was rough. I would love to sit by someone nice at a campfire, but I no longer love somemores. Hope you're doing well. Patricia

ain't that the truth! .............Thanks :-)