Give Love Freely

Unsuccessfully Moving Myself To A Middle Ground

Over my life I have had many relationships. In these relationships I have attempted to present my authentic self. In these relationships I have also tried to encompass the values of the other person as well. I felt this was a way to be close and to ensure a greater chance of success for the relationship.

However, I have begun to consider that the key to maintaining healthy relationship is to separate the connection of values & to present oneself uniquely and to accept the other uniquely. While similar values may have initially connected you, they do not have to be necessary for the relationship to survive.

Values Define A Definition

When creating a bond based upon values and ideals and/or actions, this bond places the other person in a box of definition.

And if you think about it, this definition is so we can somehow categorize these people to be used? The connection is essential to you and your relationship with them, not who they are.

These Emotional Locks We Seek

Let me explain this via one of my current relationships.

I have been interacting with someone who could not be more different than me. Does not have the same views on religion, music, marriage, money, meaning of life, etc. Maybe she has a similar sense of humour, but beyond that she mostly just has an unconditional acceptance of others.

In her case, understanding of the world has come with no need for analysis; she just knows it all with no contemplation. The process of the happiness of life is just known to her. She has a family trained understanding of what is important.

She knows her feelings, she expresses her feelings and most important she allows other the expression of what they are. While she can judge any given thought or action, she does not judge the person. Her world of acceptance is grounded simply in love. Those around her bask in the glory of her unconditional love. Love rather than values is the glue that bonds her to others.

Bond Based Upon Love of The Other Person

This was also how my mother has treated me throughout my life. She has allowed to me to grow free. None of my thoughts and actions judged unless they brought about harm to others or me. Her only want was for me to be happy.

I cannot tell you the joy one experiences when you can speak freely, be fully yourself and to have this expression acknowledge without the other person trying to use it to define you. There is a great beauty in not being part of a test to be scored.

There is a great beauty in being able to fail and have those close to you look upon the failure as sad, but not you.

Give Love Freely

Each of us has the responsibility to guard that which we give. What we give must be given freely. If it is not freely given, do not give it. If is given with a necessary want of some sort of expression or action, do not give it.

No act of kindness towards another is ever abandoned. Every word or action given must be with no strings. They should be given for that moment. For the conditional exchange is not an expression of love, it is an expression of want.
OkayBut OkayBut
51-55, M
2 Responses Aug 10, 2010

Thanks.... maybe could have written things a bit more simpler...but where is the fun in that!!!! LOL

You have a wonderful way of breaking down concepts and categorizing them. You tackle complex emotions and lay them out like a map to your mind. A humans capacity to love is astounding. The connects that are created seem more magical than anything that could possibly be of this world. <br />
<br />
This reminded me of the types of love that exist and the types of love that a person needs to experience... The importance of those bonds. <br />
<br />
Very well said.