Darkness Into Light

My boyfriend is the unflapple kind. I'm the one who's highstrung, impatient and emotional. I also work too many hours. But he's the one who's cool and steady.Reminds me to have fun.

As we get to know one another even more, the insecurities I have with other relationships are a non issue. For example, I finally told him one of my darkest secrets. I was raped as a freshman in college. When I've shared this with other men, it's the beginning of our relationship end. They assume that I provoked this attack with my behavior, dress, etc. I feel as if I'm on trial.

The hours of therapy, crying, more therapy are worthless to them. I've had to work hard to accept that rape is an act of pure aggression, not sex. I'd rather be celebate and alone than be mentally or physically abused. I've broken relationships way before we've become intimate.

But my boyfriend has been different from the beginning. He's been there through illness, depression and more. I've even tried breaking up with him a few times. When I finally broke down today and mention this fact, his first response was to hold me and apologize for the creep who did this to me. We talked a long time.

I feel very fortunate right now. Who knows what our future as a couple hold, but today I feel like one lucky woman to have him as a part of my life.
yogababy yogababy
46-50, F
2 Responses Aug 4, 2012

Thank you, thecarer. He a gentle soul. He's almost like that old George Michael song "Father Figure." I've only had one other relationship this close and that person died in 2000. I'm very thankful he's around. Feel blessed.

you grab this guy with both hands and make sure you don't let him go as he sounds like a top catch! Hope your both happy for many years to come,plenty of cuddles and lots of communication will do you both power of good.