He Really Loves Me

I was sitting at this Church and thinking to myself ,of all the things that I rather be doing on my Sunday.The sermon was so boring ,that i had to pinch myself to stay awake. Someone would raise their hand and ask the preacher to pray for them or someone going through challenges and I thought to myself Why God do you let people suffer ,die, go through so much pain if your this big omega guy that knows everything why did u let my little brother die too. ,You don"t make sense,obviously don't give a rats *** about me either. I was bitter for many years even blamed myself not being there for my little brother since I was suppose to been his big sister looking out for him even, though I had my own place and going to college, I felt I was carrying so much guilt that it kept getting o huge that I didnt even like myself,just had no peace inside
One day,an elderly lady came up to me while I was watering some of my marigolds, I had planted up front wanted to know if their were any other vacancys available to rent? I told her that I was not sure,but pointed to the leasing office,that's when she seemed to be getting exhausted and looked pale ,so I offered for her to come in and sit down and cool off She was a tiny little lady and she wanted me to call her Michelle,so I did I asked her where she was from and she told me everywhere-I decided to drop the subject ,for some reason she did not want me to know.
Michelle started glancing around and saw a picture of Mike ,my little brother and mom posing together in a picture that I had on my wall. What a handsome boy Yeah! He was, wasn't he ?and,that is your mom in the picture?Michelle asked ?Yes she died 5 years later in a car accident Then I will never forget the next thing she told me that day she said,You know ,God doesn't cause bad things to happen to us, We make our own messes and even then when it is unfair way things go He is there trying to pick the pieces and trying to lift us up believe me you gotta have some faith honey, You are so dear to him,Iris and you have been carrying all this bitter pain and it is eating you up up Honey,You gotta let it go Your Mom and little brother are doing fine and it was never your fault . I didn't know if I wanted to hug this little ole women or kick her out of my apt for taking advantage of my emotionns,but something told me that she was not some lunatic and that she meant well and had a big heart, so I went to hugging her for the longest time,Weeping with sorrow releasing the last 5 years since my brother and mom"s death. Iris, we are going to have struggles, this isn't home for us? Michelle could not see my face but, I rolled my eyes,thinking to myself that she was going over board now. Do you believe that god loves you Iris? Well, yes I guess so He does Iris wants you to know that your very special to him even if you don"t believe that about yourself, okay! Michelle I understand now just wanted her to stop now about God. Michelle took my hands in hers and looked in my eyes and I looked at her Eyes,but her eyes were full of shine, can't really explain it but I saw in her eyes a peace and love that I never seen in any body, I ever encountered in my life.
Michele, then looked at my picture of my mom and mike and said that she felt better and ready to go to the leasing office. I offered to walk with her to the office,but she said that she would be okay, I hugged Michelle one last time and told her THankyou and it was a pleasure to have met her and Michelle walked out my door. that was the last time I saw Michelle, nobody saw her ,even when I asked at the leasing office ,over the last couple of months after her visit I tried to find her but it was like she vanished,never existed
I believe God puts people or angels in our path and I believe that you do not have to go to church every Sunday to be one of his children, that includes any sin,that you may have done He will forgive you and help you,even if you keep messing up He really does love you very much unconditionally, just you!

An Ep User An EP User
1 Response Jan 8, 2013

Your story was very touching and inspiring. Thank you for sharing. Take care.