I believe in unconditional love with all my heart, but I had to learn the hard way that unconditional love doesn't mean love without boundaries.
I can love someone & give them all of myself and even forgive just about anything without allowing myself to be a doormat or enabler.
See that's my issue really is that I tend to be the one who so wants to prove the existence of a real love, a sacred love...that I look past things that end up bringing me down.
In my last 2 long-term relationships I've been a stepping stone. I've loved people who I believed were amazing people, and they were! But just not living to the "potential" (we've all heard that one) possible.
I am great at showing others how they can become "actualized", but when it comes to myself, I get lost and end up feeling like I've been sucked dry.
So I guess I've tended towards emotional vampires and hope that I'm not turning into one. I feel so needy right now. Almost like I have no time to hear of others "stuff" because I've been stifling my own for others for so very long.
So between having 2 teen children, who obviously, always, seem to need something and 2 men who took and took and when they finally found success, decided that they no longer needed me....I've lost me.
I've been saying for a very long time that I feel like a ghost. Or I'll sarcastically say "don't call me baby or mom, call me casper". I've got all sorts of good ones because I feel like no one hears me or sees me for who I am or what I may need.
Where does this go with unconditional love? Well, I think mainly it goes without saying that I used to know how to do this for myself and at some point I lost myself. YES! Unconditional love is unselfish, but I also believe in the idea that we must love ourselves to allow others to love us.
Oh the complexities of love relationships. Now I hope that I can find the happy medium and allow someone else to love me unconditionally. I have my doubts though. I don't know if that person even exists. They say that the Universe creates a man/woman that is perfect for each of us. Don't we all believe that when we're in love no matter who it is? Or maybe I'm wrong and someday I'll meet the "one" with whom I'll just know that they're actually "the one".
Until then, I'm selfish right now. I need time to heal of course, but this unconditional love thing is an innate part of me. I don't think it's something I can just turn off. I give this to everyone....even enemies believe it or not. I end up feeling sorry for them in what I see as deficiencies, not so much like "sins" or character flaws. We all have issues to work out. I suppose how well we can mesh all depends on how well we can accept those deficiencies in one another. I think it's natural that not all of us can mesh, but I still try to show love to everyone.
There are 3 people I can honestly say I love unconditionally in this world. Others I try, but am not always successful. Those 3 people could do anything and say anything and I would still give my life for them.
That's a love I will never give up on.