I Believe In Unconditional Love

I Do, But...

By: Lizzy22

Written on April 18th, 2010

It's taken me a long time to learn that there's a difference between loving someone unconditionally and being a doormat. Someone once told me "some people you need to love from a distance". I have realised that I can love someone unconditionally, but that I cannot live with them... coexist in a relationship... unconditionally. So, as I'm sitting here at the end of my marriage, contemplating, I'm realising this - I loved him when he cheated on me, when he humiliated me, when he rejected me... I still love him and I probably always will - no conditions there. But I cannot live with him and still honour myself - because he cheats on me, humiliates me, rejects me. I will simply love him from a distance instead.

By: Lizzy22

Age: 36-40 , Female

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9 responses

Lizzy22

It is the hardest thing I've ever had to do in my life!! And you're right - it goes for relationships in general. Nobody's happy ALL THE TIME, but as long as I like who I am MOST of the time, I'm OK. Thanks for your comment, and more importantly your insight into what I was trying to say with this story.

Jul 22, 2010
1 like
crafted

Must have taken a lot of courage to reach the point between thinking and practicing this insight. Ups and downs happen, but it's like you said "feeling it all the time". I think what you're saying is true of family, lovers, even work relationships. :-). Well said.

Jul 22, 2010
1 like
Lizzy22

Thank you very much, crafted! It's now a few months after I wrote this initial post, and I've come a really long way... I now put love in a firm second place when it comes to making decisions about getting / staying in a relationship. First and foremost, I have to like / love / respect the person that I am within that relationship! No matter how I feel... if I become a person that is always unhappy, hurt, bitter, angry, resentful or insecure with someone - I will leave.

Jul 22, 2010
1 like
crafted

Agree... love is or isn't. It's all the other stuff that matters more... love is not enough on its own.

Jul 21, 2010
1 like
RustyLew

You are most welcome! may you soon find peace and happiness!

Apr 20, 2010
1 like
Lizzy22

Thank you, my dear friends. You know, probably better than almost anybody else, how difficult a process it was for me to get to this point. I appreciate your love and support - I couldn't have done this without you in my life!

Apr 20, 2010
1 like
RustyLew

Very powerful words! All the best to you!

Apr 20, 2010
1 like
Joyspring

So proud of you - you're special and deserve all the good things coming your way - love R

Apr 20, 2010
1 like
bcj

Well done, my angel.

love

me

Apr 19, 2010
1 like

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