I Do, But...

It's taken me a long time to learn that there's a difference between loving someone unconditionally and being a doormat.  Someone once told me "some people you need to love from a distance".  I have realised that I can love someone unconditionally, but that I cannot live with them... coexist in a relationship... unconditionally.  So, as I'm sitting here at the end of my marriage, contemplating, I'm realising this - I loved him when he cheated on me, when he humiliated me, when he rejected me... I still love him and I probably always will - no conditions there.  But I cannot live with him and still honour myself - because he cheats on me, humiliates me, rejects me.  I will simply love him from a distance instead.

Lizzy22 Lizzy22
36-40, F
7 Responses Apr 18, 2010

It is the hardest thing I've ever had to do in my life!! And you're right - it goes for relationships in general. Nobody's happy ALL THE TIME, but as long as I like who I am MOST of the time, I'm OK. Thanks for your comment, and more importantly your insight into what I was trying to say with this story.

Thank you very much, crafted! It's now a few months after I wrote this initial post, and I've come a really long way... I now put love in a firm second place when it comes to making decisions about getting / staying in a relationship. First and foremost, I have to like / love / respect the person that I am within that relationship! No matter how I feel... if I become a person that is always unhappy, hurt, bitter, angry, resentful or insecure with someone - I will leave.

You are most welcome! may you soon find peace and happiness!

Thank you, my dear friends. You know, probably better than almost anybody else, how difficult a process it was for me to get to this point. I appreciate your love and support - I couldn't have done this without you in my life!

Very powerful words! All the best to you!

So proud of you - you're special and deserve all the good things coming your way - love R

Well done, my angel.<br />
<br />
love<br />