Intimacy Requires Sex, Really?

Have you been in a relationship where when you talk about intimacy, the partner immediately thinks you want to have sex? They make that immediate connection and do not care to understand what it is you really mean because of course you have to mean sex. Because of that they reject your request and they provide that sexual contact the assume you want begrudgingly. It makes the encounter less than enjoyable and leaves both parties less than satisfied. Had they taken the time to understand that intimacy can mean so many things or than sex. Touching hands, caressing a face, rubbing a neck or shoulders, hugging, a foot massage, brushing someone's hair, holding hands while walking or sitting and watching a movie, stroking someones hair, so many ways to show how much you love someone that does not necessarily lead to a sexual encounter. Of course they all can be considered foreplay, but they don't need to lead anywhere other than to show your partner how much you care. The craving for human touch is well documented, and if you are a person who needs and wants just those small expressions of love and caring, it is frustrating when others don't respond in those simple ways. Instead you can get the usual responses. When did intimacy come to mean sex only? If during the course of just enjoying being together in an embrace or just holding hands that desire to become intimate arises, it is just that much sweeter.
dayminder2012 dayminder2012
61-65, M
4 Responses Jan 13, 2013

My wife says this all the time and it drives me crazy

Good story, my former wife was very much one that could not separate intimate touching as nothing more than a desire for sex. Her feelings were so strong on this issue, she objected with anger to any intimate touching at all.

That's what I'm talking about! True isn't necessarily sexual. Thank you!

To a point yes but many other ways to play with a person as you slowly build them until they feel like they will explode with nothing more than words and touching the other but that comes from love and the willing to take time to learn that persons need and like and how to please them.