Listening To Iris.

I break down.
I want to scream.
I want to bleed.
I want to cry.
I would rather have pain than have to bear this deafening silence.

My life is flying away before me and yet I am going nowhere.
That moment when I realize that this is all for nothing.
School.
Relationships.
Stress.
Job.

What am I doing? Where am I going? Who am I?

That is the ultimate question; Who am I?
I've spent my whole life, which isn't that long of time if you think about it, searching for that answer. But what if I'm not doing what is true to me?
Actually, I know I'm not. This isn't what I want. It isn't what I need. This what I have to do.
To get anywhere in life I have to do what's expected. Is it true?

It's killing me. Or is it not?
Am I making this all up?

I question myself and I question God.

When will he show me my path?


I want so much more than what I have now.
I want to fall in love.
Real, unexpected, crazy, beautiful love.
I want to watch the sunrise.
The breathtaking beauty of it.
I want to run through the fields.
Dance in the rain.
Travel the world.
Make someone smile.
Sing at the top of my lungs.
Get out of this drugged up county.
I want to breathe.
I want to experience so much more than I already have.

I've known the dark, but I want to be intoxicated by the light.

This world is too beautiful to ignore.
WhisperWhisper WhisperWhisper
18-21, F
Jan 13, 2013