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I Think My Cyber Relationship Is Getting Real! And I'm Falling In Love...

I am a 22-year old Asian girl who is fond of Social Networking Sites. I had a boyfriend for years and after so many months of misunderstandings, we finally broke up. It was really such a depressing breakup and i am working out for that depression for months.

Until one day, i opened one of my social networking account and i found a private message from this certain European guy. Let me call him Kyle. He's a year older than me. He said "hi, sophie". I found that i also had a friend request from him. I found him really cute on his pictures that's why i accepted him and i replied on his message. He replied back in an instant and from there, our conversation started. That same day, he asked me if i want to be his girlfriend. Coming from a breakup, i thought of giving into this "little fun" as i r thought that this was just a simple "flirting" on chat as a pastime on that night and this will just happen once. Yes, he was already my new boyfriend that same night... that one night of chat. After hours of chatting, i finally said goodbye as i wanted to take a rest already. He asked me to stay a few minutes for awhile. I asked him why. He told me we just have to agree on our "schedule" first. I found out and thought that this guy might have really liked me. I told him that my being online is irregular and i am not sure if i will be on tomorrow. He just said that i'll just try to send him offline message on his PM so that he'll know what i do, where am i, etc. That same night he told me that he IS serious about me and if he's not, he won't be spending that long night talking with me. He even told me that he means everything he said and he is serious about coming here in our country to meet me! I don't wanna believe fast... and i just played along.

The next night... i got curious. I opened that Social Networking site and found him again. And we chat again. He asked me my messenger because of course, communicating thru messenger is much more easier and convenient. Then, we talked long hours AGAIN.

The next days, i signed online on my phone and there, we continued to chat. That night after we talked, I was already thinking. I asked myself, "what is this?" "is this real?" For him, what we have is a true relationship. For me, i just want to ride along with everything happening to us 'coz i am enjoying it. I enjoy the appreciation.... i'm loving the attention. He sends me offline message informing me of what he does. Later on, i do what he does as well. He is only available during the weekends because he is working during the days. He can't possibly spend long hours of chatting during the weekdays when he have work as he only goes to a computer shop to talk to me. He is and art teacher. It compliments my schedule as well coz i am still studying and working part-time as well. So our chat schedule is only during the weekends.

2 weeks after being a couple, we had our first live chat! My little attraction to him grew. I know he feels the same way too. We talked for 6 hours! And by hearing his voice... I started to become confused already. Coz what i thought at the start as such a simple chat flirting only, i feel is becoming real. No, this is not flirting anymore i told myself. For Kyle, this is not flirting as well. Or maybe he thought of flirting at the start too, but then as we go along, this "online relationship" is becoming a "real relationship" already. And our communication continues. During the weekdays, we send each other offline messages and tell stories of what we do. Kyle is a very sweet guy. Though we are not physically together, it is only from him that i got this kind of care and appreciation i never experienced from my past relationship. He listens every time, and my every word is important to him. Like when i talk about courtship that is a culture here in country wherein a guy should pursue a girl he wants before he could get her... he even asked me to write it coz for him, it is very important for him to know about it.

He never fails to meet me online. We are of different time zones, and we both try to meet on our agreed time schedule of the day. He kept on assuring me that everything about us is real, and if only i should trust him completely and we continue to be company even as online as for the moment, he's gonna commit really. Most of the time, he doesn't need to assure me, coz by his words, i feel his sincerity.

The problem is, we needed to wait 2 more years before he can go here in my country. He needs to save money for his expenses for coming here, and aside from that, wait as well for his friend to finish college and after that his friend will work as well and save money too, coz it was already their initial plan of really going here in the first place. And now, he said his aim is to save money for him to be able to go here.

Aside from the excitement that we are feeling now, I'm kinda scared because i am not sure if relationships that started from the cyber environment really gets real. Right now, i've already started to invest real feelings for him already and i'm sure he as well coz i feel it from him. I just want to know if THIS is really possible. I would like to know if online relationships on some people really gets real...
sophie0318 sophie0318 22-25, F 2 Responses Oct 8, 2011

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Hi DollyDiva,



Thanks for your comment. Actually, even before we met online he and his friend initially had already plans of visiting Philippines, and maybe i thought he prefers to go here with company.



I already attempted to break up with him twice but he resisted and kept on sending me offline messages. That way i think that this maybe something really true, but yeah 2 years (or 1.5 years is a bit long). But actually it is ok to me since we can get to know each other better before finally meeting up and up to now the communication is still constant and we talk more often now that before 'coz he already has an internet connection at home and asked for my mobile number already. Our relationship is still young (approaching 4 months) and still more stuffs to see, kinda exciting. I hope we'll make it through...

Hi Sophie,



I have to say that he seems to be 'real' for his words but for your own sake, wait until he comes to you. I can understand that saving money really takes time and two year isn't a short period of time. Trust is always important in long distance relationship. I have also gone through a long distance relationship but my case was different. We didnt meet online. I'm also Asian and share similar age. My hubby is also European and not much older than me. The only thing I dont really get is, why does he have to wait for his friend? if the main purpose is to meet you. Nowadays the flight tickets are no longer so expensive that you cannot afford. Especially if he lives in European country and works. He should be able to save enough money within shorter time. My husband was a student as we first met and we met every two months even though the distance between us wasnt short. Ask him this question and think about it. LDR especially online can hurt. I wish you the best as I understand the beauty of 'love'.



DolL