Not Gross, Not Disgusting, Not Perverted, Not Just Lust, A True Compassionate ex<x>pression Of Art
If you have the depth of mind, if you are able to take your lustful feelings and make them an ex
Like a song of a breeze over the skin.
The soft touch of the breath against the skin. Glidding the lips ever so gently with the softest of breath up the neck to the earlobe ,with the gentle touch of the lips whisper soft over the skin, up the outter edge of the ear, the gentle nip, the gentle flick of the tongue against the neck upon it's way up, over the outter edge of the ear. The glide of the lips softly, feathering with the tist of the tongue and breathe, stimulating the nerve endings in the most delicious way arousing the senses of the nerve endings.
These caresses of the tongue, lips and breath bring the senses to heightened awareness of fulfillment to the art of love making
Oh how I'd love to have someone to thrill with every sense of my being in an ex
and a mind that holds a vast universe of awareness.
And, blasted, why, Why in the heck do I have to have, why was I given all this ...what ever it's called...feeling, love, compassion, feeling, wanting, yearning, desire,
or you can take it to another form.
...I don't like this form as this world is sick and scary, but I can reword it for the other part of the world, the more degrading, basic ways..... and reword this as,,,'why do I have to have this sexual need, desires and so on...
lol...I can't put it that way, it's not in me... It's not in my being to be able to say I'm horny...lol...that's so neandrathalic like...
No, I want to feel someone rich with feelings
I don't want another ne...should look this word up..hang on
easier said then done on my old computer, which wanted to freeze up when I tried to open another window
ok, let's see if I can recapture the thought
these thoughts are not for everyone and any of my friends who do not want to read about my carnal needs, please don't read..lol.
Ok, so maybe some things should be in my online 'locked' journal site I keep
I just lite some Jasmine incense sticks...whew...stinky...cough..going to open a window
I had to back up here. I don't have quiet. My laptop crashed and burned. I'm in the unfinished ba
a very old...about 11 year old..computer which freezes and sputs and spirts. My daughter is home, 2 dogs wanting
attention and inside, outside and two cats...so trying to find 'free your mind' time isn't easy, though the bf is at work.
..if he wasn't I wouldn't be on here.
So I've been upstairs, out of the dwellings of this unfinished, spider engulfed ba
and over..and now I have the hiccups. Yes, I do...most annoying, but I have the hiccups.
I ask you...Have you ever tried to write about the art of making love while you have the hiccups..?...lol...here I am
trying to do exactly that.
Thankfully my one dog is up on my bed and the other up with my daughter, so I don't have them disturbing me for
my attention, I only have these blasted hiccups to contend with..
I can assure you that hiccups and making love do not go well together...lol.
Don't ever under estimate the 45 year old woman and the art of making love.
I never needed experience. My imagination and deep inside feelings had love making down to an art form before I ever had sex.
---Notice...I said 'art form''...not some low down dirty act of sex...
Depth, not lust....sensations of artform
I still have these dang hiccups,...what am I....3 months old...lol.. I remember my babies having hiccups.
I'm a 45 year old woman...no hiccups...lol..esp while trying to express my desires, yearnings and wishes
to find a man who truly can be invovled and absorbs within the folds of the art of making love.
oh please don't let me grow old and die without giving of myself to someone who will truly understand and share
all I have to give and offer and yearn for day in and day out. I have so much more to express, share and give, that I want
2013 January and I'm going to add to this. I just felt like this bit of extra feeling I had belongs in here..
Sure they are good, honest, down to earth, home people, faithful, growing food off the land, keeping the eye simple and following the bible, helping others and feel they'll get their reward in
the end for the simple lives of helping others, being quiet and respectful..
Here I am, almost leading the same life...and in some ways it makes me ill. In other ways I've rebelled. I've done more then the other women in our family have.
I haven't done much at all compared to the world and where people go and what they do. I've never been on an airplane, I've never had money, I've
never been shopping any place besides little local stores and second hand store. It's mostly now just the thrift store. I've always been poor.
But, I tried harder then any of them to find passion. I'm not ashamed. I feel that at least I did this in my life. At least I've made love and have felt passion, raw
It fades though...I still want it.
Oh they'd be agast to hear me say that, to think I even think it. I doubt they can even handle or imagine or deal with the fact that I've been with a few men...to their
count, I'd imagine they are thinking 3...lol...which would horrify them into disowning me.
But what..live as they have, settle, go about my day,...you can't tell me they have closed off their minds, shut up their passions and just lived..nothing more
then live. I know, I do it...but I can't do it. I've done it for the past 25 years, but I can't do it...so I don't and yet I do.
Grandma, all her life living way out in the country, growing every spec of food she ever had and my aunts and my mom, struggling with each broken down car they've
ever driven and had. Good, wonderful, kind people...but I can't live without the passion, no matter what oh I did it. I did it for a 10 years of marriage. I was good. I was religious. I prayed hard all the time until I cried, to be a good christian mom, a good christian wife and a good christian, to please god.
It got me disrespect, hate, ridicule and abuse from my husband...who never earned the title of husband or father in any way.
I did it...I saw grandma and my aunts, ever working hard, ever faithful, ever just living life one day at a time...nothing more..sewing, cooking, living, but not living and I did it too. It was all I knew. To be a good mom was upmost for me, esp when I found out my husband had no interest in being a husband or a father, I turned to god and the children and quietly put up with him...feeling that I was doing the best I could and doing what I should, as mom and grandma and my aunts had done and I wanted to be a wonderful mom. My children were my life. My aunts and mom watched me, any false move and they corrected me in the biblical way and how they felt I should be.
Now the years have past and I've lived longer then I'll probably live and if I do live another 46 years, we know that not many of the last ones will be much..not in the sense of a 20 year old, with freedom of movement and health.
I'm truly sick of the men in my life, not one of them has ever known who I am, or cared...what I could/can be, or cared.
Each of them making fun of me for my passion and desires. Each one using it against me,throwing it in my face, mocking me and trying to control me with it. My ex never even began to satisfy me. When I tried to bring anything new into our sex life he'd be mad at me. If I tried to talk seductive or dirty he'd be mad and stop and give me heck, if I tried to touch or feel, he'd tell me to stop. It has to be his way, what he wanted, what he said and he'd just do it, no matter how I felt or thought. Towards the end it became abusive.
When I started to see another man, later after we were seperated and going through our divorce he started to ask me questions and I told him that now I was going to have sex, real sex, sex how I want it, my way, full of passion and fire and if the man was not capable to have finesse, fire, flare and now what he was doing in a most passionate way, I didn't want him.
My ex asked whatever and I told him I'd talk dirty if I want..and he said, 'why didn't you ever do that with us?"
grrr..of course he wouldn't remember, or want to remember or pretend not to remember the things I had tried.
He couldn't believe I had done myself during our marriage..lol...'Yes, sex was only about you getting off. I never needed to, accept the few times you got me off."
Really, are men so simple minded that they think a twice a year ****** is good enough for a woman? I was up to 4 to 7 times a day. He couldn't believe I did that while we were married. He was shocked...what a simple mind he had.
No more. My passions and desires are as high as they were when I was 20 or 30 and have not died and I will not let them die alone while I turn older. I hope to keep the fire into my old age and experience it well, at will, when I want and I will fight to have it in my life.
---this is some feelings that over came me a few days ago and I wrote them out the best I could, and want to save them