This Is It

45 years ago I met and fell in love with a man. For 6 months it was awesome. I felt something wasn't right as he checked his watch a lot and seems "antsy" as the night grew into morning. I was in my late 20's, divorced with one child. I was hanging out at my moms that day and John came there to see us. After he left I told my mom to get in the car as we were following John! We followed him straight to his house and he was living in a place that was no where near where he said he lived. I watched him get out of the car and go into the building. After about 45 minutes I got out of my car went to the door stepped in and found his name on the bell, so I rang it. I was let in and walked up 2 flights of steps to be greeted by a VERY pregnant women! She was so cute and looked so sad to me. Right behind her stood John, his mouth flew opened and he said. "What are you doing here"? I said" please explain this to me, your shoes are off and you apparently belong here what are YOU doing"? He said this is my wife, I turned to his wife and I told her " I am so sorry, you do NOT need to worry about me ever seeing him again" His wife turned to John and said "whats going on"? He said " I am in love with her, I am so sorry" I could NOT stand there feeling like the lowest of low so I left. When I got back to moms I got real sick and my mom ended up taking me to the ER. She thought I was sick over the mess I just left behind but I didn't;'t think that could cause the pain I had in my side. Needless to say I had surgery that night as my appendix were about to burst. After I recovered I left that state moved back to Chicago and NEVER saw him again , until......45 years later!
I was visiting my sister and we started talking about him, I looked in the phone book and his name was in it, I called him! ( I knew if his name was in that book he probably wasn't't married ) I was right. He knew who I was right away! We talked for 3 hours and made plans to meet for dinner. We have been together since. That was 5 years ago.
He had a girlfriend but was not in love with her. I didn't't find this out until after we had been seeing each other for about a month. I got a call from this women and she wanted to know WHO I was so I told her, needless to say they broke up . He said he didn't't want to tell me about her for fear I would run away and he was breaking up with her but I found out before he was able to tell her I found him and he really wanted to see where we would go. He had loved me all those years and couldn't't do a thing about it. I was so happy but something was so wrong to me even after all that. I was feeling like a damn fool all over again and I knew it was going to destroy us before we got going. But I hung on.I love him, I too loved him and never was able to get him out of my head. His two girls knew who I was before ever meeting them and they like me a lot as they knew I didn't't break up their mom and dad, he did, They respect me. They have told me some really good stories about "dad"! I am getting off the beaten path, sorry.... I am in front of the monitor writing a story that has filled me with sorrow, happiness, forgiveness, love and trust. Most importantly is the trust.
I will need to continue this later, as there is a lot I still need to talk about.
Thank you for reading, and try not to judge as this story has not yet ended.
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3 Responses Nov 27, 2012

lucky for you that you found him again afterb so many years

I felt everything you went through. I know what you felt. I wish I had some majic potirnt to give you. The only thing I can do is to pray for you and Keep you in my heart...becky Anne

Life isn't always fair but trust has to be earned. I'm glad you had a good talk with his daughters as they can give you an insight into their Dad. I hope things work out the way you want them to and that you can replace sorrow with happiness.