Reason,season, Lifetime-friendship Breakdown(no Trolls Please)

Throughout my life, like most people I have continuously met people who seem to be one thing and turn out to be another.

I believe this is down to Reason,Season, Lifetime.
Is there a specific reason I have met this person, what can i learn from this interaction.
Will our friendship/contact be temporary(season), are they/ am I going through something that means they can contribute and help in this instance.
Or will it be something more substantial and last, allowing us to grow together as individuals but support each other through life's issues.

For example my now ex best friend(shall we name her Katie?)
When we first met it was through work, I thought nothing of it as I am generally a private person at work, i try not to share too much of my personal life.
I work with a lot of women, sadly this means any slight hint of gossip spreads through the rumor mill like wild fire. i really don't need my personal life/problems being discussed when i struggle to trust people and not be paranoid about being talked about as it is(I suffer with depression/anxiety)
Anyway Katie seemed different, genuine, we started spending more time together, and eventually established a close friendship.
We had girls nights in and out together, we talked about everything,we went to the gym together, we supported each other through break-ups and we became so close we had complete strangers asking if we were sisters(we have physical similarities, but I believe this was because of mannerisms we shared)
Don't get me wrong we argued, but like all sisters, once the dust had settled we talked about it tried to resolve the issue, even if it meant agreeing to disagree.
We were the best of friends.

I don't believe there is ever one reason in a relationship breakdown, but a lot of minor issues that combined become the catalyst for it to fall apart.

We began to bicker and argue more and more, i began to distance myself slightly, as i mentioned i struggle anyway with my illness, which cause me to close off to people at times.

I even became less diplomatic in my replies to her obsessing about her looks(there are only so many times you can tell a stunning women she is beautiful before you begin to give up)just because I didn't have the patience to support someone who was so self absorbed, i actually can't remember the last time we talked about any problems I had going on, without her trying to spin the conversation back onto herself.

Basically the long and short of it is that she became the total opposite to the happy go lucky women I became friends with, she talked about her ex and how she wanted him to miss her, how she didn't want him back, but then get insanely jealous over his new relationships.

I tried to be supportive, talk to her about it, tel her that unless she did it for herself she was allowing him hurting her, to ruin her life.
i encouraged her to spend time with her other friends(ones she admitted she hadn't spoke to for months at a time)

This seemed to help, it allowed me time to concentrate on getting myself sorted, and she got the benefit of being a young single attractive women, spending time with friends, flirting with men and generally just enjoying her life.

this in through all of this, I've now become her problem.
she started speaking to me less and less, when i did try talking to her, she told me she wanted friendships that were fun and stress-free.

Then I ended up being signed off work at the end of Oct '12, she visited me once, gave me a card telling me how I had always supported her, now it was her turn to support me.
that's the last time I saw her, we had a few short conversations through texts, before she became sarcastic and short with me.
The last contact I had was mid Nov'12. even through-out Christmas and New Year, we haven't spoken.

I am still currently off sick from work. I am slowly getting there luckily my family and partner are very supportive and have helped me a lot.
I'm meant to be back at work some time next month(which will bring it to nearly 4months since we saw each other.

I feel sick with worry. angry at her as I know she will make me out to be the bad person that 'caused' our friendship to breakdown.
I don't know what to do about it, and I feel it will effect work more as I am even less open and trusting with people then I was before.
I am trying to think positively but right now when I really need my best friend, is when it hurts even more that she isn't bothered.




Beebopper Beebopper
22-25, F
Jan 14, 2013