I Believe...

i believed a reconciliation was on the cards .. i believed things had changed .. but now i know i will probably never go back ..it would be wrong on many levels ...all for the sake of a carnal motivation ....... his attitude has never changed ..hes still downright selfish and cantankerous ....and i am not sure i want to be around a man like that ......that dependency on him was akin to a heroin addiction .. it was hard to wean myself of him ...and now after that length of withdrawal am thinking of taking some more of that evil weed .....
i do not need or desire something that was so harmful to my health .... and when the drug is human it has even more of a strength and potency to really cause damage...... i will immerse myself in ignatia ..to relieve my treason of my achilles heel . in ten years .. i lost my daughter, my mortgage , my job ...almost my sanity ...all i have is to gain now ...and that man cannot be part of it because he enjoyed my demise deep down i know he did he contributed to it .. took years of my fertility and non-committal in his sense of self but accused me of the exact same. he was for a reason xxx because now i know its not how i want to live ....xxx
psychicprayer psychicprayer
36-40
2 Responses Jan 18, 2013

thankyou ..SL i hope so too ..i think there must be a better man out there for me ....x

I`m sorry to see it has not worked out Barbara; I hope you can put him firmly behind you and move on.