I Absolutely Believe This to Be True

I divorced my husband of 20 years and entered into a new relationship. I knew he had a history of alcoholism but was not drinking when we started seeing each other. The drinking started up again and got his third DUI. I had no one to talk to and thought the drinking might have started up again because of the pressure he felt from starting this new relationship with me.

I didn't understand the alcoholism and was feeling very co-dependent.

One day I hear from a childhood friend I had lost touch with. We meet for coffee and end up talking for 5 hours. It was completely innocent.

I finally blurted out my story of my boyfriend's drinking. My friend tells me he is a recovering alcoholic with 6 years sobriety and helps me understand that there is nothing I can do to stop my boyfriend from drinking.

My boyfriend is withdrawing emotionally and my friend tries to explain what his experience was with his former spouse when he was drinking. He tells me his recovery story and we begin talking about our pasts and our mistakes.

We are now a couple and our relationship is the most honest and loving thing I have ever experienced.

I don't know that I would have ever gotten so close to him had we not talked about his drinking. He says he certainly wouldn't have opened up so much had he not felt that I would have benefited from hearing an alcoholic's side of the story.

My ex-boyfriend stopped drinking and has been sober ever since. I'm still close to him and speak to him everyday.

I truly believe that my boyfriend came into my life at this point in time because someone thought I was ready to appreciate him and be open to the idea of falling in love based on something more than just physical attraction and the excitement of romance.



terrys1girl terrys1girl
46-50, F
2 Responses Jan 16, 2009

I know AA isn't for everyone, but it has really worked for my current boyfriend. It not only helps you to stop drinking but actually helps you learn steps to live your life peacefully. I go with him to meetings and even though I don't drink I always find something significant in what others express. <br />
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Alcoholism is truly a baffling disease. The more I learn about it the most confusing it is.<br />
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Thanks for sharing your stories. And yes, there is a drug that will make you extremely sick if you drink. It's called antibuse. I have a natural form of it, in that I was born without the enzyme that metabolizes alcohol. So when I drink it, the alcohol doesn't break down and I just throw it back up.

Interesting story .. pleased it has worked out so well and your ex has stopped drinking.