Why Was I Born

I have always felt like I shouldn't be here. That I wasn't meant to be born. Everyday I ask myself why was I brought here in the first place. Why am I where I can't do anything? Why am I living where I am not wanted? I just hate it
kthimm1 kthimm1
18-21, F
18 Responses Mar 7, 2009

I have come across 'pre birth plans', all 'un-scientific' of course ;) haha, but there is something it would seem in them. I think it 'crucial' to distinguish between loosing an interest in life i.e. you are feeling low, falling into depression - I know, I have experience it- AND , a general curiosity and frustration at the universe and the 'purpose' of our existence or materialisation of 'consciousness', which I believe many of us humans experience, if not ALL. I am prone to feeling this thoughts as quite a philosophiser but many people do not.
The vast expanse of the universe makes us feel small and we wonder what we're doing here from time to time- this is the curious 'tasty, delicious, laughing in the dark' mystery that will or can never 'truly' be solved....'ever'. However, as I said before, this is a marked distinction although the lines can be blurred, so take care- with depression or hopelessness.

I wish to say right now, as I type, I am advocating the former, a curiosity about existence, why we are here, or and with 'how' we are here..... brings in questions for me about god, as like the majority of us, I grew up under the cultural gaze of both the Christian and Jewish Faiths, which are hard to unpick, if 'impossible' or 'improbably' to unpick or unroot from ones pysche in any comprehensive way. So then, my quesiton unsurprisngly involves god within our 'existence question' .....aah said to much and time for bed :) Time, Time, it is our most feared, most loved and most cherished 'party' in all of this...Time is why we're here perhaps, what do you think....if you're reading this message in 2525, am I in your history books haha? If not, why not?

I am only sad, I cannot see what your world is like now. The only downside of time, change, the necessary 'nature' of time in our universe.

I would say that the last part sounds like you're having a tough time, as you said 'hate it'- I felt the same today, but I don't hate it, maybe you mean, it's a perpetual mystery that frustrates you, I can empathise with you on that ;)

Thank God there are other people out there who feel the same way I do. Thank you for authenticating my own thought processes. I hope one day the questions will be answered. Until then, I guess we just plod on.

i know the feeling,it sucks right?

I know how you feel, but we are stronger then most, yet we feel so vounerable. I started hating my mom when I was 13, I knew she didn;t ever really want me, I didn;t belong or want to be here. <br />
I've yet to know what it feels like to be so glad to be alive.

i WAS born with pyloric stenosis 0 - in order to save me (what for ) they cut me open and fixed it 0 thanks - i believedthat everyone was born with this huge surgical gash across them until i realised they weren't (oops) - so ******* what - you need to stop feeling like a sorry **** and turn this **** around and throw some back - like who the **** gets to decide ? wake up you sorry **** - grab the ******* bull by the horns and get with it - self pity is it's own weapon. ****

I get the same. I screwed up big time. And now I cannot face the music.. I've got so depressed.. I always get the feeling "Guilt"

yes but just hardly as u know

hey most people couldnt handle all you have been thru- you are still going!

i am hope so.

you are stronger then you think

i know<br />
<br />
i'm not strong anymore

staying strong is the hardest thing in the world

i wonder if i will get through at times

You have been through more things than most people will ever go through.... :(<br />
<br />
When you make it through though, you will be stronger and have the support of anyone who hears your story.

i am living lies i've been told .<br />
<br />
when i got the truth i didn't want to believe it. i hat what i now know anfd what i might do cause it

I wonder why I am here too. <br />
<br />
I am thankful for it though...I feel often that I don't really deserve to live.

me too...a hundred years to late or hundred years to soon