Death Or Silence?

The sword of silence.

After receiving a bounty of love, communication, thoughtfulness, kindness for two months, one wrong move on my part and he stood silent from afar, in the dark, cold, quiet night. Though I was like a screaming banshee, he would not turn. Though he could hear that I lay crying on the dark cold ground, pleading for mercy, he would not come. Though I starved for his loving eyes, he stood still, motionless.

Eerily.

Blank.

Cold.

It was like being on a deserted island, watching a boat in the distance. You know the boat sees you, but it chooses not to come. You know it has food, friends and yet it stays on the horizon in observance of your physical and emotional starvation.

I wish no enemy of mine to endure this.

I wish no hate on anyone as that of dealing with heart's death without so much as the dignity of a goodbye or the care of an insult.

I wish no suffering upon any soul than that of being immensely in love and watching the one you love simply disappear.

If I were to die tomorrow, I wonder if he'd care enough, or give me a breath of dignity enough, to turn a little dirt on my grave.

In some ways, I might take death over silence.
lisa36 lisa36
36-40, F
3 Responses Nov 4, 2010

Thank you ironman, big and SW. I just decided to feature this story but I want everyone to know what it feels like when they decide to just simply walk away without a word. I'll never forget how bad this hurt.

Pumpki, you are so beautiful in your thought and wisdom. I feel so validated by you. :-) I couldn't find the words this morning to share what this means to hear these words, that yes, I gave a piece of me, if not all and I was real and authentic... <br />
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I'm so grateful for your friendship my dear pumpki. <3

Wow parts of that were deep and beautiful and the other parts make me feel so sad, your words truly envoke emotion, I wish i could express myself that deeply sometimes...Hang in there and try not to let him get the best of you, otherwise as I have found out it leads to many sleepless nights, wishing you well.