This past week numerous people have been SHOCKED to hear my Boy recently recieved a paddling at school. They were not shocked to hear he deserved discipline (lol), but that our school STILL uses paddling as a form of disciplinary action. Most people asked if I was Ok with the action. "Well, hell yeah. He gets his butt spanked at home! " I replied. This resulted in further cringing from some folks. Do I care about those cringes? NO! Do I believe it is always effective, or should be used as the only means of discipline?? ABSOLUTELY NOT! But it IS absolutely effective on my daughter, who fears the "thought" of pain to her rear. Therefore, threatening to spank or paddle her generally ends the issue. Once in a blue moon I have to reenforce her thoughts with the actual deed, and she's good to go for several weeks!
The Boy however... he's a mixed work in progress on the disipline. As he gets older, we find other means of discipline, such as grounding him from certain toys or activities make him behave better. However, he doesn't like the threat of a spanking from his Daddy. Not because Daddy spanks TOO hard, but I think because the Boy realizes that Daddy is at the end of his capabilities to deal with a misbehavior or action, and I think our son senses that DISAPPOINTMENT Daddy is feeling in his son. And our Boy doesn't like when one of us feels disappointed in him. I don't like that it takes a spanking to make the Boy realize he's disappointed us in his behavior. I wish talking to the child was enough. Or the groundings. But it isn't. We don't beat, or abuse the children, but we use enough force for them to feel the spanking, and remind them that their action resulted in our reaction. And we TELL the kids before or after WHY they recieved the spanking. If people can't see that spanking can be used constructively, then perhaps they should live where the punishment is CANING or "eye for an eye-tooth for a tooth" punishment! Spanking and paddling seem MILD when you think of those options!
UPDATE ON March 23, 2011.... since this story has been in such debate, I decided I would give you the perspective of a CHILD'S feelings about punishment consisting of Spankings. Almost two weeks ago, I grounded my Daughter from her phone ( her grounding time is almost up) as punishment for sneaking away from a teen-hangout joint, and missing her curfew by an hour! She also disobeyed by riding in a car full of kids, after me telling her ONLY to ride with the adult that was supposed to deliver all the kids home at curfew. SO... we are on week two of her having no phone to talk or text. She informed me the other night... " I WOULD RATHER TAKE A SPANKING AND HAVE THE PUNISHMENT IMMEDIATELY OVER, THAN TO GO ANOTHER NIGHT WITHOUT MY PHONE!" So, to anyone that believes spanking is an abuse.... here's a kid that would rather be "abused" than be "civilly" grounded!