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School Paddlings

This past week numerous people have been SHOCKED to hear my Boy recently recieved a paddling at school. They were not shocked to hear he deserved discipline (lol), but that our school STILL uses paddling as a form of disciplinary action. Most people asked if I was Ok with the action. "Well, hell yeah. He gets his butt spanked at home! " I replied. This resulted in further cringing from some folks. Do I care about those cringes? NO! Do I believe it is always effective, or should be used as the only means of discipline?? ABSOLUTELY NOT!  But it IS absolutely effective on my daughter, who fears the "thought" of pain to her rear. Therefore, threatening to spank or paddle her generally ends the issue. Once in a blue moon I have to reenforce her thoughts with the actual deed, and she's good to go for several weeks!

The Boy however... he's a mixed work in progress on the disipline. As he gets older, we find other means of discipline, such as grounding him from certain toys or activities make him behave better. However, he doesn't like the threat of a spanking from his Daddy. Not because Daddy spanks TOO hard, but I think because the Boy realizes that Daddy is at the end of his capabilities to deal with a misbehavior or action, and I think our son senses that DISAPPOINTMENT  Daddy is feeling in his son. And our Boy doesn't like when one of us feels disappointed in him. I don't like that it takes a spanking to make the Boy realize he's disappointed us in his behavior. I wish talking to the child was enough. Or the groundings. But it isn't. We don't beat, or abuse the children, but we use enough force for them to feel the spanking, and remind them that their action resulted in our reaction. And we TELL the kids before or after WHY they recieved the spanking. If people can't see that spanking can be used constructively, then perhaps they should live where the punishment is CANING or "eye for an eye-tooth for a tooth" punishment! Spanking and paddling seem MILD when you think of those options!

UPDATE ON March 23, 2011.... since this story has been in such debate, I decided I would give you the perspective of a CHILD'S feelings about punishment consisting of Spankings.  Almost two weeks ago, I grounded my Daughter from her phone ( her grounding time is almost up) as punishment for sneaking away from a teen-hangout joint, and missing her curfew by an hour! She also disobeyed by riding in a car full of kids, after me telling her ONLY to ride with the adult that was supposed to deliver all the kids home at curfew. SO... we are on week two of her having no phone to talk or text. She informed me the other night... " I WOULD RATHER TAKE A SPANKING AND HAVE THE PUNISHMENT IMMEDIATELY OVER, THAN TO GO ANOTHER NIGHT WITHOUT MY PHONE!"   So, to anyone that believes spanking is an abuse.... here's a kid that would rather be "abused" than be "civilly" grounded!

emerald emerald 36-40, F 97 Responses Feb 25, 2010

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the "civil" method is why kids today have been sissified into a bunch of entitled, sue-happy, soft-skinned wimps that expect to get a ribbon for coming in 7th place.

I got Wacked(or spanked) as a kid....in the '60s. a few times. But my parents always explained why it was coming. I understood that. It helped too.
Sadly, I never spanked my 2 girls. Never seen the need. I did make them sit on the stairs...........and think about their actions. And it worked. Only happened 2 or 3 times.
Problem solved!!

I think no punishment is effective unless the child understands why he is being punished.

I believe every child understands why. The problem is lack of follow through.

Maybe.

Spanking is highly effective.

... my dad always said it is okay for the teachers to hit the crap out of my brother and I,
but with my little sister (the late comer) he wants to hit the teacher for hitting her.......... huh?

Yes it seems the older some parents get, the less spanking occurs.

It seems perfectly reasonable to me! There are times I'd like to spank my daughter (rather than throttle her) but she is 20, and dad doing that...well, I feel it would be inappropriate. Grounding doesn't work on its own. I either turn off text (I still want her to be able to communicate and call me) or I take the car. Besides, a calm talking to from her dad can bring tears just as easily as a spanking and I know the words resonate. I've no idea how old your children are.



I got spanked when I was young, I know each and every time I deserved it! oh, I'm not seeing a shrink either.

Snicker ~ Yeah, it didn't take me long to figure out what my kids hated the most. I always when with that, it amazes me. You would think it would be a spanking...but nope I found much more effective ways to get their cooperation. Of course there was the occasional crime that got a spanking and grounding.

Oy..It continues.

Without Discipline their is CHAOS

Chaos begins from spankings.

discipline should not be dealt with by laying hands on childrens' small bodies.,,And i advocate discipline, and..continuity..and consistency...thank you for letting me share.

Works somewhere. Where was that again? Oh yeah, lala land.

As a kid i was not spanked i was just a good kid and if i was told something i followed it. as i got oldet i did not believe in it untill in my late teens early twentys when i started helping raise my cousin. She was a handfull and did not listen to me at all. I had petmission from her mom to spank but never did untill she was about seven and after i seen how it niped her behavior now i believe

Naughty youngsters Need to be Punished .

i Agree i Disciplined my youngsters . Just as my Parents Disciplined Me in the 1950s and 1960s . i youngsters are Disruptive at home . some kind of punishment is needed . Disciplinary Spankings must hurt . Bare Bottom is best . one has to see it getting red and no when to stop . i was Raised very Strict by my Mum and extended family . The Cane was used in all Schools when i was a youngster in the 1950s and 1960s . it was LEGAL and Approved By Parents . the Catholic i went to was very strict , it was Run by Priests and Nuns . Canings were very Severe if i was on Detention after School . then i would be given a Note for my Parents . i think the Nuns and Priests new i would be Punished again at home for getting into trouble at School . i often had a very sore and welted bruised bottom when i was a youngster growing up .That was 1950s Discipline . Corrective Therapy Worked back then and made better Adults . UnDisciplined youngsters need Strict Parenting and Discipline at School . Without Discipline their is CHAOS .Respected Trusted Gent Age 63 years young . davidmaher48@gmail.com .

Just because canings were legal doesn't make them right. They still stone people in the Middle East-does that make it acceptable? Not in my book! We don't need to treat children like animals. If a person has to resort to practically beating a child for misbehavior, I think it is just downright wrong. I say that as a parent of a very difficult 8-year old. We've found grounding and taking privileges away to be effective (usually).I think spanking might work w/ some kids but I personally don't advocate for it. And an occasional speaking now and then is one thing, but leaving bruises and welts all over a child? That is just abuse, plain and simple.

my daughter still gets her backside whacked regularly for her behaviour or should i say misbehaviour and if more parents did it maybe society would not contain so many delinquients

WELL DONE, I went to a school in Africa and the teacher whacked my backside quite often!, guess what? it worked!. Carry on and you'll see!.

add me so we can chat pls

People Cringe when they learn that paddling still happens. It should be allowed in every public school including high school as children today need to know that there are limits and authority absolutely exists.

Well, how you raise your child is completely up to you, and I support all parents' rights to do so. On a personal note though, I've informed my local elementary that no one is EVER to strike my daughter under any circumstances. If any teacher raises a hand to my child, they will wish to God they'd never been born.

i Agree With taylorminor . Self Opinionated People are WindBags and Full of Bulshit . Living in Their own World .

I agree with corporal punishment as a last degree if others dont work .I got the cane ,slipper and hand when I was a kid did me no harm .If anything it made me respect other people.

good for you an that is wonderful for your school system to still use paddling in school

it was a very sad day when they took out paddlee in the schoools system



that is great you spank at home just lie we do also

an im proude ot hear you dont care what ohters think i am sure that your kids behave alot better then any one else that has second thoughts about spanking

We get paddled at school it would be a happy day if they took the paddle away.

My personal view on this is If you do not discipline your children between the age of 2 and 6 then you will totally regret it. I Have spent a large portion of my life dealing with children of all ages and the one thing that shines through is kids that have had controlled discipline will shine through .. Disciplined and remember to add respect always respect for the parent and your elders... It was great for my kids... I love my kids they are my life ... they have there moments but they truly believe that the way they were brought up is how they will be bringing up there kids ... MY son is 24 married and has his first daughter who is hitting 1 and my 2 daughters 17 and nearly 15... all good well mannered kids ... Mark my son gave me a hard time at 13 to 16 and then it was all good . ... and he says i was not hard enough on him but at that time i was a single mum. Don't let anyone tell you that it can all be done with one parent because it really all depends on the children and my son would most definitely had done a little better at that age if the man was in the house.... But that really does come down to the children.... as they are all special little bundles of fairy dust................And this just my option ..I do think it is a little scary at the though of some one else hitting my kids..... so i would have that come down to each individual child and the parents would have that insight...so yeah....

School Corporal Punishment Paddling



Uniform Guidelines That All School Systems

should have in Place









I can’t speak for other persons out there but I had seen a few school paddling’s back in the Seventies / Eighties era and from my personal view when used correctly with out using Brute or Harsh force when using a paddle maybe effective on both male / female pupils



I disagree with School teachers / administrators being allowed use a Paddle board’s that are nearly the size of College Fraternity Paddles to Use on Young Children and Teens below the age of 18, It’s a well known fact that these sized boards being used do and have caused injuries and or server bruising.



since most paddler’s doing the paddling tend to raise the boards high above in the air to give the blow’s to the receiving persons.. This is when the paddle is actually is being used as a battering weapon.. And is no longer considered an instrument for punishment,.



Since must Pubic / Private School Systems in the U.S. Have guide lines that on average restrict the size of the paddle boards on the average size of 18 to 22 inches long and about 3 to 4 inches wide with the thickness of the board from ½ to 5/8 thickness of the wood These boards should never be raised above ones head high in the air..



Since you are mandated to use this type of paddle.. The Board should only be raised up to either your Hip or Breast level or Preferably between your Hip and Breast levels,... never high in the air !,.... that can also effect your proper aiming to the receivers rear end to.



The most Preferable Paddle to use that are least likely to Cause Bruising or an Injury would be to locate or have one of the Old Type Slivernear Paddles that had the Comments written on them,. Heat for the Seat , Fanny Whacker , Aditude Adjuster , Butt Buster, ETC,. These boards are best on both small children and teens also in the case of a Teen you can ratchet up the force of your Stokes if desired with out causing serious damage or bruising to the receivers rear end,.



If your allowed to use this type of board do so,. If you can’t locate one then have one custom made using cedar wood or ash wood.. Have the paddle coated with lacquer and sealed using a smooth gloss finish this will help prevent the board from splintering during use..



the size can be from three to four inches wide and about 16 inches long.. Thickness will not be over 1/4 inches,. Stings like fire but doesn’t cause damage,.





Positioning Student:



First Option Positioning : Pupils that are to be paddled should be standing legs can be together or apart,. Arms Grabbing the back of rest top of a Chair this is the best Positioning since there buttocks will be in a natural relaxed state and are allowed to naturally flex and absorb the force being applied to them from the paddle,. Ask Student to look up straight forward , this will prevent a jerk of the neck and head .. ” Surprise from the paddles application “



Second Option Positioning would be to have the Pupil bend over a Desk Palms of there hands flat on the top of the Desk. Also have them towards either sides - corner’s of the desk depending which hand / arm you use. “ Right handed “ / “ Left handed. “ Ask Student to look up straight forward , this will prevent a jerk of the neck and head .. ” Surprise from the paddles application “







Third option Positioning would be to have them bend over place there hands flat on the surface of a Seat or Chair Ask Student to look up straight forward , this will prevent a jerk of the neck and head .. ” Surprise from the paddles application “



Fourth Option Positioning : Slightly leaning against a wall palms of hands flat on the wall,. Arms Positioned around the shoulder to upper torso level.





Positioning Don’t’s: IMPORTANT ! Don’t bend over with hands holding down Towards either the Ankles or the Knees this isn’t very safe for the Student, and increases the risk and dangers of the Student being knocked over or falling down during the punishment,. Also not bent over a Desk with the lower body torso and chest laying up / pressed up against the desk top.. Desk / Counter top will dig into the person. Lets remember risk of injuries.





Positioning of Administrator / Teacher “ Paddler “



Paddler should be positioned standing to the side of the Pupil, not standing to the rear side or back of the Pupil ,. Paddler should have view the Pupils Sides and Rear End, Back, Shoulders , Back of head, and possible rear side view of pupils face, Your Paddling Arm should come to even position with the buttocks of the pupil,.



This is important.. It effects how the paddle will land on the buttocks, you want the paddle to land evenly on both sides of the buttocks,. Since its been noted a lot of bruising is caused by uneven impacts from paddles,.

So Check your positioning now..



Safe Test of Application of the Paddle,.



Take Aim raise the paddle up between your hip and Breast line height, Do a few practice swings, Board will come to a complete Soft Stop on the Rear End or Soft Tap landing on the buttocks,.



You are preforming the last safety checks here before the real paddling is to begin, board should be making even contact,. Also you should observing for any adverse reaction from the pupil at this point,. If the Student was jumpy or had slightly Quivered, or made a slight under breath Grunt from the Practice Taps, Wait a bit for a few seconds raise the paddle back up and redo the Practice Swings again,.



This is perfectly ok to preform the Soft Landing Taps since there shouldn’t be any pain at this point,. If the same thing happens again you might consider lowering the amount of force to use during the “ Real Paddling “ to a mild level,. Also ask Student if they are alright about doing this in a smooth tone of voice,. Remember and keep in mind Your not trying to inflict Serious Emotional TRAUMA here,. At this point the student may have a emotional brake down at this point, .. if this is the case the Paddling will not commence and an alternative options maybe considered.





If no Adverse Reactions were Observed During the Practice Test Taps,,.. Then Proceed with the Application of the Paddle,.









Application of the Paddle:



all the above steps have been taken, Proper Positioning and Test and Aim has been Taken, Its Now time to proceed with the Punishment “ the is Paddling to begin “,.



Announce To the Pupil the Amount of Stokes that will be given,. Tell them they are to remain still and keep there arms and hands clear and stay in position until He or She is told to stand up.. Or the last Stoke has been given,. Pupil is not to stay in position for a prolonged period of time after the last Stoke has been completed,.

Start with the paddle rested once again on the buttocks then raise the paddle to the correct height then ask the Pupil if He or She is ready, Announce Are you Ready ?,. Pupil Will reply accordingly: Yes / Yeah ,.. This is the very last step before the paddles application ,. Once the YES is said.. Its GREEN LIGHTS TO GO ,. The Paddling will now Commence





The Normal Reactions during the Application of the Stokes could be, a Yell of: Ouch , Yaouch , Ohoo, there maybe some slight crying and tears coming from the eyes, elevated breathing,. Maintain the application of the Stokes of Paddle,. If Pupil is hollering and screaming and crying excessively its acceptable to reduce the amount of force in the paddles application,.



If the pupil states during the application of the stokes that they can’t take any more,. You are to state the punishment must be completed and the pupil has made there choice,. If this happens it is acceptable to stop the Paddling for a few moments / minutes , Its at your discretion to add or not to add additional Stokes inform the Pupil there will be additional Stokes,. Its also advisable to reduce the amount of force that is being used in the paddles application at this point too,. One or Two more Stokes added is ok,. .





Completion of the Punishment,. Student is allowed to compose themselfs,. In no case are they to be allowed to return to class or allowed out in the halls Un- composed or appearing in the state of duress from the application of the paddling,.



This is about as safe as you can effectively apply Corporal Punishment / Paddling of a Student that I can think of,. The above Steps might seem like a long process but once you’ve gotten in to the routine of doing the Above it should only take an additional 20 to 30 Seconds before the Application of the Punishment Starts.



IF All of the Safeties above are in Place for the Students Well being.. And Or Emotional Well Being.. Remember Here.. There is a deference between a Spanking and a Battering.. And a Fine line between the both of them,. Spankings don’t cause TRAUMA.. But a Battering Will .

Well I was all for spanking until my son came home from school with black and blue marks so severe I had to take him to the doctor and he had to sleep in the recliner on his side. The marks that vice principal left on him were were 10 inches black and blue with blood spots!!! I have pressed charges on this man and will see him in court!!

You are a real dumb ***...

I am not pissed off I or my kids were never BEATEN

so ppl are just so STEWPID and if the shoe fits put it on and walk away

re: My kids and myself got spanked when I was in school.

>>> Is this why you are sooooooo ANGY now and resent that others are not getting abused like you and your kids were abused???? Don't resent that others are not "getting what they deserve" - resent the dirty beasts that abused you and your children!

re: Just look at kids today they get away with every thing becauce parents are told to not spank or do this or do that.

>> Does it just break your heart that you were beaten up and here's all these kids getting away with sh*t? Is it possible that both the older and the newer generation were and are being raised WRONG? Is it possible there is a middle ground that very few parents can be bothered to learn and use to raise kids WITHOUT violence or indulgence?

Sorry you are so pissed off that others are getting away with what you and your kids were BEATEN for but maybe it's slowly swinging in the direction of CORRECT and SANE child training.

These folks have it right..........http://www.positivediscipline.com/

Ok spanking a child is not abuse. Abuse is when you hit a child a big difference... My kids and myself got spanked when I was in school. Just look at kids today they get away with every thing becauce parents are told to not spank or do this or do that. Well PHUCK this new crap cause thats what is wrong with this world today. You give your kid the car the damn cell phone when they are what in 3rd grade.. give me a friggen break.

Make your child be Responsible for their actions.

re: UPDATE ON March 23, 2011.... since this story has been in such debate, I decided I would give you the perspective of a CHILD'S feelings about punishment consisting of Spankings. Almost two weeks ago, I grounded my Daughter from her phone ( her grounding time is almost up) as punishment for sneaking away from a teen-hangout joint, and missing her curfew by an hour! She also disobeyed by riding in a car full of kids, after me telling her ONLY to ride with the adult that was supposed to deliver all the kids home at curfew.

>> Whew! Seems like there is a real big gap in the trust, respect and communications between you and your child! I'd recommend you learn about Positive Discipline:

http://www.positivediscipline.com/



SO... we are on week two of her having no phone to talk or text. She informed me the other night... " I WOULD RATHER TAKE A SPANKING AND HAVE THE PUNISHMENT IMMEDIATELY OVER, THAN TO GO ANOTHER NIGHT WITHOUT MY PHONE!"

>> What was your response?



So, to anyone that believes spanking is an abuse.... here's a kid that would rather be "abused" than be "civilly" grounded!

>> Or whatever works for both of you! In any case, I'd imagine training your kid to do what's right BECAUSE IT'S RIGHT should be your parental goal - not just achieving OBEDIENCE!

In case you are interested:

From: http://store.positivediscipline.com/Child-Discipline-To-Punish-or-Not_b_16.html



TO PUNISH OR NOT?

What do you think of when you hear the word “discipline”? Most people think of punishment. I invite you to think a little deeper starting with the exploration of the long-term results of punishment.When children are punished they do not learn self-discipline. Punishment provides “external” motivation. Self-discipline requires “inner” motivation. When children are punished they either comply to avoid the punishment (and may become approval junkies), or they may get sneaky and do all they can to avoid getting caught. They may they blatantly rebel—resulting in endless power-struggles with their parents. Then parents complain about the behavior of their children without taking responsibility for their part—how they invited the power struggles by using ineffective discipline methods (punishment).Positive Discipline does not advocate any form of punishment—no punitive time-out or grounding, no withdrawal of privileges, no yelling, no lectures, no threatening, no spanking, no rewards, no praise.At this point you may be wondering two things, “What else is there?”, and, “Wait a minute; praise and rewards aren’t punishment.” Praise and rewards are not punishment but they are external motivators, which do not teach self-discipline, self-control, and the desire to make a contribution based on inner motivation.In answer to what else is there; that is what Positive Discipline is all about

Yes I agree with everything u have said. Why do so many people want to regress? We're not animals, we're supposed to be teaching children to be civilized but I think hitting just teaches fear. While many don't like the idea of a "democratic family", studies have proven that authoritarian parenting styles is the LEAST effective with children. Therefore, those that say " children should be seen and not heard" and are extremely strict usually have the opposite effect on their children's behavior. In my psychology classes, I've learned about the various types of parenting, and authoritative parents, which are those that enforce rules, yet can be open-minded and loving, have the most positive effect on behavior.
And in regards to a nation of spankers, I think the US is. There are many countries where spanking is illegal and child abuse statistics are nowhere near like those in the US

To whom it may concern:



Taken for: http://www.thedickinsonpress.com/event/article/id/46198/group/Opinion/



Among the many acts of violence, great and small, that we commit regularly against each other and against animals, I wonder if we’ll ever dispense with one of the most common: hitting children.

We call this “spanking,” but the term is used to describe a variety of practices that range from a mild open-handed pat on the bottom to a vigorous session with a coat hanger. At some point spanking shades over into abuse, but the precise point is too indistinct for many parents. If there are responsible ways to spank, many parents, in their anger, are incapable of practicing them.

All spanking shares several characteristics: it always involves the expression of authority of one person over another, it always inflicts pain and the vast majority of the time it is administered in anger, or at least frustration. Essentially, it’s always one person hitting another.

Hit your wife and you could be arrested; you’re much freer to hit your child.

Schools used to be a place where a child regularly ran the risk of being hit by an adult. According to the Center for Effective Discipline, twenty states — nearly all in the South, Southwest, and Midwest — still permit corporal punishment in schools, but the trend is in the right direction. And we no longer permit beating or caning of criminals, a method of punishment still practiced in some countries.

In fact, the only members of our society who can be hit with impunity, outside of a boxing ring or hockey rink, are children — the citizens with the least capacity to defend themselves.

And we appear to be a nation of committed spankers. Occasionally this subject comes up among my students: anecdotally, most of them grew up being spanked and, by god, they mean to spank their own children. Spanking often has that hereditary quality.

But a careful examination of the motivations and conditions under which we hit our children might reveal that, like capital punishment, we do it more for ourselves than to achieve some goal. In fact, for many people, it’s just “payback” for what they got when they were kids.

In fact, mostly, I suspect, we hit children simply because we can.



There is more in the article if you care to read it and learn something.

emerald:

re: People that have been ABUSED or BEATEN usually don't agree with spankings.

>> I was physically abused by parents, teachers and some other adults. It's not that I 'disagree' with spanking. I disagree with the PURPOSE of such violence. Although none of you Spankers will ever admit it, I firmly believe your #1 purpose is to satisfy your self first and then pretend that you have achieved some noble goal by creating obedient (fearful) children! The thing us "abuse victims" know for sure is that abuse, violence, spanking, paddling DOES NOT produce better behavior - just better "faking it" to please the hitters.



I get that. [I don't believe you do!] But they also don't get that there's a difference between a spanking and a Beating.

>> They are precisely the same thing! A beating can be as mild as a spanking and a spanking can be as destructive as a beating - - - - depending on the style and intent of the ABUSER or the SENSITIVITY of the helpless little victim! Not that any of that would matter to a confirmed hitter!



But the "beating" parent didn't understand that line, either.

>> LOL and the sweet, innocent, "NICE" spanking parent does????? Give me a break!



I feel sorry that this difference can't be determined.

>> Feel sorry for the victims of these beater/abusers IF YOU CAN. The "difference" can be determine by a doctor or examining nurse or even an interested and conscious hitter!



No one... kid, adult, woman, or even man... should be BEATEN by anyone!

>> LOL, LOL, but anyone, kid, adult, woman, man can and should be SPANKED whenever a hitter determines that they DESERVE to be! I assume anyone with half a brain can see how idiotic this logic/denial is and what damage "kindly, pleasant, harmless, little ol' school paddlings" are doing!

I offer this to anyone interested:

http://www.unlimitedjustice.com/

Jim

Ahhh, CC... what a fine way to twist my words. My daughter was one of those that spankings DID accomplish making her behave for quite some time. HOwever, due to her age and being female, I do NOT spank her, but rather take away privilages. I did NOT give her a CHOICE on punishment. Spanking or grounding WAS NOT a given option. It was the grounding... period. SHE SAID she would rather have a spanking. That IS NOT what happened or given a choice to pick from. She was comparing a QUICK (albeit effective on her) punishment VS a slow punishment of phone denial.

I'm really shocked that noone yet has said grounding is a MENTAL ABUSE, and not acceptable either.

HOwever CC... I totally disagree with zombie-fying kids on correction meds, too. THat's why my son is on a natural med for the ADHD and a natural mood stabilizer. My kid still has his "*****"! Oh yes he do!! LOL. And I too prefer him with THAT over being a robot.

Emerald,



I have read, and reread your posting..and the comments made.



Your last statement proves my point..a child that would rather than take a spanking than go a night without her phone.. a kid who would rather be abused than ..civilly grounded..What choice? Parents should not provide a ..choice, to a child, when being reprimanded, or punished..You DIRECT them, civilly, and cordially. Not shrilly, and with rage..I can see why your child responds with that answer, and how you can use it in your response, is not my cup of tea. It is downright pathetic.



The world is in the sad state of affairs, because parents like you, encourage pain, and suffering, and your children will do as you did, and I weep for all of you.



Chipperchick;(

Emerald,



Yes, you have a different approach than I do..I am not criticizing, or chastising anyone in this group.



I have witnessed those public displays of punishment on others, as a child in the public school system, albeit in the 50's and 60's..



It did not discourage any behavior that was unacceptable..For the most part, children whose parents already used physical forms of punishment, were the ones, abusing the rules, and, they scoffed at it..You were able to trade a detention session, for a paddling..1 day, 1 swat..did they learn anything? No.



I believe that an infliction of pain upon anything, is not required..



I too worked in Emergency rooms, and there also cared for too many children, the wreckage of parents whose hands got out of control, perhaps caused by their own past abuse..?



I am not saying that YOU, or anyone else here abuses their children..



I have 4 children, one has Tourettes Syndrome, another ADD. I know what difficulties are. I stopped medicating, when they turned into zombies, but,hey, that's me..I do so prefer a little *****, than the walking dead. { in my situation only..many are helped,not mine}



Parenting is not an easy task, and, I do not recommend it to many..but, it has brought me my finest hours.



The techniques I use are universal..not unique, and extremely simple.



I speak to the child as if they comprehend, and , gee, they do respond..the change in a voice tone.. I never even scream.



Words, of course, the very young do not understand. But, one day, they will remember, and , in kind, repeat those words to me..and my heart swells up with pride.



I sit with my friends, who were spanked as a child..their anger towards their parents, i understand. My ex=sister-in-law and her siblings, could not wait until their abusive mother died so they could get her money..



that's all.



chipperchick;)



This does not sound like my wording..I am using tact., and attempting to be quite clinical.Not emotional. this is how many children should be spoken to, especially when they misbehave. try it..it might work. wanna bet?