Learned Humility

Roughly two years ago I felt like I had the world by the B***s.  I had a very good job that paid well, a great partner. The career path I had worked 7 years for was mine. My body was fit, I had many friends, a closet full of sexy clothes, two wonderful pets, a nice car and the certain knowledge that I had it all. Then it happened.  My ego swelled to the size of state of Texas.  I felt very at my ease enjoying success...  I frequently basked in my own glory and chose not to give credit where credit was due.

One day I was writing at my desk, next I woke up to find myself being ******** of all the false armor built around me.  Something had crept into my very controlled existence.  I developed a chronic illness that rapidly progressed to the point of debilitating.  I could not stay away at work.  My memory evaporated, the active hobbies were out of my reach and with them many of my friends.  The over confident bad *** I once recognized as self was nowhere in the mirror.  Instead a pale, frightened thirty-something peered back at me. 

The connective tissue disease ******** things from me.  Initially I thought I may die of exposure as the illness took away all of the things I hid behind,  education, my career, my looks, my health, my ability to function independently-gone.  Later I found the folly in each of these pieces of armor.  I learned how I had used them as a diversion from loving and really knowing myself or anyone else.

Seems strange to think that today I almost feel lucky.  Luck, the presence of some greater guiding force, stepped in to ensure I didn't loose my soul.  Over the past 2.5 years I have met many kind people and learned something about humility, keeping my feet planted firmly on the Earth.  Most of all I am learning to compassionately live in the present moment.

spiritchazer1 spiritchazer1
36-40, F
1 Response Jan 2, 2010

That is something we all have to fight for..our tue selves..my fight was learning this...Try this on for size...Remember to treat others the way you wish to be treated. THEN.... Start practicing some real deep self-Love. ( From the inside out) You have the Breath of Life and Love inside you - like we all do. Remember to Love, Protect and Share it with & for yourself & others. Also do the same for the Temple it resides in..Tour Body... Once you can do this the universe will forgive your transgressions. Your life will take on better choices. Your Creator has things in control more than you think.<br />
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LOVE & HUGS, livingwell <br />
with True Love for Yourself...