No Pain No Gain

I don't even want to go into how long i have "sucked-it-up" when it comes to my pains and troubles. I just get busy .... get and go thingy. I post something like that here somewhere. hmm

Sooo, for the past few days, i have opened the flood gates of my heart. I "felt" the pain, i then listened to my inner voice when i shouted out for Help.

My greatest desire in life is to be loved and given some kind of attention. I am needy. ....past ghost, yup! Anyways.....After praying, pondering, crying, begging for an answer... I got it! ...Which made me cry even more. huh

My inner voice said..." Not now, it is time for other things. Like lets start with you... your inner peace that you should be feeding to yourself." I broke down seeing how needy i am. The desire to be loved... loving someone else, the need of it all.... has taken away from caring for myself and knowing me all over again... hmmm. Or maybe for the first time in my life... getting to know me! Caring for no one else, just Me time!

Heck, i have never been here... just worring over little ol' me... ok?... Always been busy caring and doing for others. Now i am alone. wow...

So... I thank the Heavens for the purging of these tears and pain i am doing these days. I got a feeling i will be dealing with these ghosts of days gone by alittle longer. ...huh... I best go get some boxes of Puffs. *smile*
MorningBreeze MorningBreeze
56-60, F
6 Responses Oct 15, 2010

Good ...............Your appreciated.................Gd bless you........................:)

Teacherspirit hmmm.... (hug) I do believe it myself. I hope i don't have a relaps! lol.... No good! Thank you my friend!

Deckard, Thank you. Words of wisdom. I am much better today. Day to day... step by step... yup, i will be just fine. I don't know why i get so... hmmm scared but hey... it's cool! *smile* I am a strong woman, just had a weak moment. It's all part of recovering. <br />
Take care

It seems such a simple request, to have someone to love and be loved. Why is it so hard sometimes. I needed that so much that I am now in a marriage that was never really great from the start. That marriage is now coming to an end and I will soon be alone again . Next time round, like you, I will look after me first. I would say you are doing the right thing. Put you first and be happy being you. Put the "love" thing to one side for now. Don't crave it so much that you'll latch on to anyone who shows you love.<br />
I hope you discover that inner piece soon. Love yourself because that love is unconditional. Once you love yourself and love being with yourself, then you can think about letting people in again. That special person is out there but for now, you must come first.<br />
It will all come good, it's just going to take time so be patient.

Datura.. hmmm lol...yup. Thank you. *smile*

What a journey life is. It sounds like you are making some good breakthroughs. It's about time you care for yourself first and foremost. *smile*